Jill

Two weeks to go. Hope everyone has been in training.

Derby, Norwich & Bradford

Hertha BSC beat Stuttgart 3-2. Good start to my footballing weekend. And probably the end of the good part.

Nice finish from Kalou there after he nearly fucked it up. Hertha winning 2-1.

Howay Hertha.

Blackpool v Cardiff - penalty scored @ 4/1 (free bet for a single)

West Allotment...not been their in years. My uncle used to manage the social club their, donkeys years ago mind. An undoubted higher standard of play and management will be on view for you at least. They're my local non-league team, they don't play in West Allotment like. I try and get along to see them a few times a season but it's fast becoming a better option than seeking out a pub with a foreign channel/dodgy stream to watch the latest offering of NUFC s****. West Allotment play at the Blue Flames sports centre don't they. Right next door to United's training ground, where Pardew & the lads practice their superb dead ball routines. They do, aye. Dummett's brother plays for them too.

West Allotment...not been their in years. My uncle used to manage the social club their, donkeys years ago mind. An undoubted higher standard of play and management will be on view for you at least. They're my local non-league team, they don't play in West Allotment like. I try and get along to see them a few times a season but it's fast becoming a better option than seeking out a pub with a foreign channel/dodgy stream to watch the latest offering of NUFC shite.

I'm going to West Allotment Celtic v Nelson in the FA Vase and I hope it'll be similar to last time I went to see WAC, when we played Southampton and every time I checked the score we'd conceded again.

If I suddenly became completely incompetent in my own job I think I could get away with this afternoon by explaining it away as a bad day but if it continued I wouldn't see the end of the week.

I had a reasonable week, slowly crawling back up there. GW 7 Hull 1-0 Crystal Palace Leicester 2-1 Burnley Liverpool 3-1 West Brom Sunderland 1-1 Stoke Swansea 4-0 Newcastle Aston Villa 0-2 Man City Man Utd 2-2 Everton Chelsea 2-1 Arsenal Spurs 1-0 Southampton West Ham 0-0 QPR

Look at the fucking clip of him.

I really, really do not rate him based on what I've seen. Total bottler.

Potentially going on my list along with 'rectangle' and 'tablespoon'.

Same here Genuinely baffled how anyone can see anything in it. Same reason people see Jesus on a piece of toast. HOPE.

He probably said "get them in" as in the fucking pints.

Followed by a public stoning outside the ground with Slim & SanToon getting the first shots fired.

Could put so many words in Ashley's mouth from that clip. I don't want to speculate and get my hopes up.

Sacked in the morning, pls.

Can't stop giggling at Obertan coming on.

How did Moses not score?

All those SackPardews

Stoke man, stop trying to help us out.

Already was mine.