Ishmael

They're basically ripoffs of 90s duvet covers.

http://i.imgur.com/hOOnJQn.jpg http://i.imgur.com/jsEzxVs.jpg Warrior

If I was an EPL manager I wouldn't go near Danny Simpson as either a starter or a back-up. Maybe as a last, last, last resort - maybe. He's just so bad in possession.

Can't cross, can't run, can't pass, can't dribble, can't do throw-ins and backs off. Can hold his position and shut his wing down when the team is defending as a unit. Competent defender, awful with the ball. Look for: long, slow, looping crosses going out for a goal kick or into the 'keeper's gloves; chipping the ball 20 yards forward when faced with a modicum of pressure anywhere on the pitch - I mean anywhere, which includes in the final third; waving his arms a lot, blaming others for everything; an arrogant personality and a complete lack of ability to do anything with the ball, full stop.

Reading that I think of http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/256710/not-my-waterpark Toon Taylor mix of South Park Water Park. What has happened to this place ... Out of my St James' Park (my St James' Park) Haha, brilliant.

Redknapp to the extreme.

Ah shit

Fulham win plus lots of injuries, please.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/shortcuts/2013/apr/01/paolo-di-canio-fascist-sunderland?INTCMP=ILCNETTXT3487 Tee-hee-hee.

I've really tried, but I just cannot make heads nor tails of that Di Canio statement. At what point in that jumble of words does he refute the allegations made? Would like him to get a Newsnight interview with Paxman to clear things up.

Should let him take the pelanties as well. Would be Gerrard/Lampard-esc levels of scoring.

Chelsea beat Manchester Red, FACT.

Moses

4 minutes added time given and Chelsea have managed to get rid of the entire first minute with a substitution

Chelsea think they're Barcelona.

RvP

Eerily, Manchester Red are playing like ourselves.

That Giggs pass in the build-up was first rate

Giggs has done nothing but give the ball back to Chelsea players with some awfully slack passing. It wont be long before, having lulled Chelsea's midfield into a false sense of security, he will provide a world class assist to level the game.

A Carrick howler, right on cue.

Brilliant save by De Gea went unnoticed.

A game of football is threatening to break out.

Ridiculously brilliant save by Cech.