Interpolic

Didn't realise Traore ran from not far outside his own box before he won that pen, christ

Please say 99 or less.

Not so sure Kane should be overlooked so easily. He's had one period last season where his goalscoring form was a bit patchy and that's it. Constant goals of all type other than that. He lives in an age where forwards are expected to be super mobile and able to do everything whereas the others weren't. Drogba was a level below those 2 imo, certainly as a goalscorer.

Shearer and Bellamy Henry and Bergkamp Petit and Vieira Keane and Scholes

I was gonna say he must have a gag lined up or else "Hello I'm Steven Bytheway from Walkergate" is a bit underwhelming.

People went mad over these at the world cup a couple of years ago:

What annoys me is that the test is nonsense if the scope of it can be changed at will, yet not applied retrospectively. How can they entertain lobbying from competitor clubs for our takeover when there was no such pressure on the likes of Man City and Chelsea when theirs went through?

Was voted for by the clubs. Unfortunately the top 6 clubs only get 1 vote each, for the time being.

Richard Masters has finally checked his emails after a few days procrastinating...

Can we get Captain Tom involved?

On a free. Willian, Willian - it was really nothing.

Jesus, an actual tory and a ref. Imagine the patter.

It doesn't really make any sense. Even if those 55 are on an average of £50k that's not even a £3m annual saving which is not going to make much of a difference to their player recruitment.

Doubt anything will ever annoy me as much as clueless owld gadgies having a go at Laurent Robert en masse because he didn't track back enough or get his foot in. Should have seen Brexit coming back then.

"I’m sorry, Newcastle fans, but you honestly don’t know you’re born. Mike Ashley has re-established your lot as a comfortable mid-table Premier League side. No one is claiming that he’s a saint - or even a respectable person in any way or form - but none of you can deny that he has contributed enough from his own pocket to maintain Newcastle’s reputation as a financially stable top flight outfit, with access to a war chest that will allow them to compete at the top level." Join us for another game of Mike Ashley NUFC Ownership Bullshit Bingo

Yeah true, was a bit like Torres in that respect where he'd levelled off a bit before a big transfer. Still crazy how shit he's been at Man Utd though. not really surprising when you look at his summers from 2014-2017; 2014 world cup, 2015 copa america, 2016 copa america 2017 confederations cup, dude has basically little to no rest time for 4 years thats going to take a toll on a player Good shout, had forgotten all about that.

Yeah true, was a bit like Torres in that respect where he'd levelled off a bit before a big transfer. Still crazy how shit he's been at Man Utd though.

It's a ridiculous amount of money but he was legitimately one of the top players in the league around that time. Has been one of the steepest falls from grace I can recall. Went from dynamite to shite overnight.

Be hilarious if more and more people turn up. Let’s see the media try and ignore that. If the head count doubles each day then there will be 1099511627776 Newcastle fans outside by the time the season kicks off on September 12th. Edit - I didn't just make this up btw, I used a calculator and that.

They couldn't just wait around indefinitely though. 17 weeks with no end in sight, you have to draw the line somewhere.

Hello, it’s Richard Masters again. I’ve locked you in the boardroom so you can’t get me. But you can leave by the fire escape. You haven’t got a takeover; I just didn’t have the guts to say that earlier.

Started off canny, this.

"We're shit, but we can live with it"

"Greggs on legs" is inspired