Village Idiot

I remember Seljuk from when Touré played for us, he's a mad cunt, happy to see him sowing chaos somewhere else

That's not how it happened. We didn't want to sell him but City offered him a shitload money and he asked to leave "because he wanted to play alongside his brother". I doubt we're interested, his agent already pulled stunts like this to get him better contracts while at Barça.

It's the list of the 14 players that are leaving/we are apparently listening to offers for.

He's on a youth contract. Tenerife offered him a proper professional deal when he bursted into scene this season, but he's been refusing it - no doubt to facilitate a move.

Don't see what's wrong with wanting any signing to have some potential resale value. Probably preparing a bid lower than his release clause so it can be rejected. Got to get him to accept 50p and a a packet of Skips wages yet. Apparently his current wage is £490 a week. Month.

Guess is stuff isn't finalized with the player... ...or they want Tenerife to accept a transfer bid for the same value as the release clause instead of triggering the clause itself, thus avoiding the Spanish VAT tax

I binge-watched that show with a few beers after losing the league. So fitting. Half our squad is in his book, I'm sure.

I didn't say they are dross, you overlooked the "several outstanding players" bit.

Portugal has always been like this - several outstanding players alongside dross. They just don't have enough depth.

Tenerife Press says he's not signed yet, but there's full agreement between the parts. According to them, you have also faxed Tenerife informing them you'll be activating the release clause. There's talk you might leave him there on loan for a year.

On the other side, he's not just dross picked up to fill up squad space. I'm just happy that you'll have a Spanish player in your ranks again, tbf.

Been asking around people that follow Liga Adelante more closely than I do, and they seem fairly excited about this lad. They reckon it's a coup if he manages to settle in England.

Might I show you our wares? Fire sale! Everything must go! http://www.mundodeportivo.com/20140519/fc-barcelona/el-barca-tiene-a-catorce-jugadores-entre-bajas-seguras-y-transferibles_54407054847.html World champions, European champions, loads of internationals - get yours before it's too late!

SER Deportes make lots of shit up, but I'm seeing reported on their local media that the move is "to be finalised in a few hours". So it's probably true. A signing!

The way I see it your board have seen an opportunity to snatch a promising player earning 600e/m with just one year on his contract and went ahead with it before it's too late. Again, it's promising in the sense that you seem to have widened your catching net. Guy's had a great season in our second tier so, who knows, might develop into something. My biggest fear is taking a 20-year-old from the Canary Islands to England.

Just reading their local sports newspaper. They turned QPR down apparently.

Is he tweeting from the future?

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_kpA45f4pzBs/Sb77yRzmPlI/AAAAAAAABzU/HkwXs5BHhnw/s1600/2273EF52-B877-ABAB-C11BDD14E50D05BD.jpg Wasn't a Liga Adelante player, played in La Liga proper Ayoze has refused to extend his contract, and would cost peanuts. Now, I'm skeptical of this link given the many clubs he's been linked with already, and the fact that I'm not sure of a boy his age switching the Canary Islands for Newcastle - settling in could be difficult.

You have to go and try to get the 20m players before they are worth 20m. Owt wrong with targetting young Liga Adelante players.

To be honest Noble is a decent creative player, even if not a patch on Cabaye.

Incidentally, I met a girl from Newcastle while watching the Barça debacle on Saturday. She had the one of the clearest English pronunciations I have ever heard... until I asked her to put on the native accent. Lovely girl, by the way.

Do scouts advertise themselves so openly when following a player?

6m for a manager is a huge sum. Barça was paying less to Martino and I'm sure that's about what Ancelotti gets at Real Madrid.

He probably doesn't speak English and I won't tell him. You're safe.

Ayoze has been linked with 2000000000000000000000 clubs these past months, so I wouldn't take much from this news. He's a good player though, quick skillful second striker. Happy to see you linked with a Spanish player for a change.