PineBarrens

The bloke's an absolute arse and a shit manager to boot.

You're spot on, everything's fine and we're not going to struggle at all this forthcoming season, oh no.

Quoted for evidence. I killed the pair of them last night, with my mind.

It would be terrible if something tragic happened to Mike and Derek, just awful.

Famous Status Quo song.

Keegan was wrong, Bobby Robson was wrong, Nolan was wrong, Barton is wrong - all hail lord Mike, for he cannot do wrong...

'we'll go with what we've got...'

If every single person past or present and alive and kicking connected with NUFC said the same thing people would still give fatso and mute scorsese the benefit of the doubt.

"Wait until the transfer window's closed before judging" has become a 'groundhog day' style mantra . Under Tubby O' Cheap Tat's tenure ever single transfer window has been consistent - consistently underwhelming.

I've been saying this for yonks, only to be effectively accused of wanting the club to go under. I for one couldn't truly enjoy that mild October day back in 1996 when we howked manchester united 5-0, because in the back of my mind as every goal went in was the nagging concern of our sizeable wage bill. That, and the alarming amount of blokes with centre-partings...

So, just to clarify: the C.H.U.D.S. from Wearside continue to crow about a result which occured so early in the 20th Century that almost no living Sunderland fan can claim to bare witness to, and one which also occured in the same season that we won the league title. It's high time they put down their banjo's, well-thumbed copies of 'Tyneside Mafia & Other True Conspiracies' and attempted to live their embittered lives free from the shackles of their NUFC-centered tiny minds. Cretins.

'what's there to do in Sunderland?' 'nowt' 'who's that old lesbian that looks like dorothy from the golden girls?' 'that's you're new manager, mr steve bruce' 'can I get out of signing for this club?' 'no' 'ah, bowwocks!'

He appears to be suffering from Cumbrian Syndrome, which is believed to be incurable. Shame.

So who's your next Messiah - Barry Taylor, Ozzy Ozbourne or Cat Deeley?

But these players are terribly average and will be caught out in the premier league. Im fully aware not every team in the premier league is man united but even the poorer teams and newly promoted are signing better players than the likes of danny simpson (Wasnt deemed good enough by sunderland) and ryan taylor (We blatently only bought him to stop wigan beating us all the time)., We dont even have to spend millions, What about petrov to bolton!?!?!? we've had the advantage of knowing where we are next season and so far it looks like there has been no shortlist for transfer targets made. There was a soupcon of sarcasm contained within my post, comrade. Sarcasm noted, i need to leave this thread before it consumes me :| It's the magic eye of threads.

But these players are terribly average and will be caught out in the premier league. Im fully aware not every team in the premier league is man united but even the poorer teams and newly promoted are signing better players than the likes of danny simpson (Wasnt deemed good enough by sunderland) and ryan taylor (We blatently only bought him to stop wigan beating us all the time)., We dont even have to spend millions, What about petrov to bolton!?!?!? we've had the advantage of knowing where we are next season and so far it looks like there has been no shortlist for transfer targets made. There was a soupcon of sarcasm contained within my post, comrade.

Signing talented, moody players always leads to destruction; just look at the likes of Cantona, Bellamy, Maradona and Romario for incontrovertible proof of such folly. Far better getting in the likes of Danny Simpson and Ryan Taylor, good steady professionals. Talent? Hardest game in the world, mate.

It's alright though, the nice Mr Hughton recognises that we need extra bodies in, so panic over. Imagine if we'd had a threadbare squad lacking in pace, creativity and a quality forward? That would have been terrible, just terrible...

Wesley Sneider spotted having a pint of speckled hen in Rafferty's.

"Hello room service, it's Mr Hughton here, I'd like an Irish coffee brought to my room. Can of fanta? Okay, i'll just use the minibar. Colin..."

Big-boned Frank may have a myriad amount of critics, but he'll always have one thing over his fodd-headed rival - he can't abide the music of Phil Collins.

I'm a mere product of a disgusting experiment involving Rustie Lee and Phil Cool. Still, better than that ridiculous official NUFC statement.

As if! I can only hope to languish in the deceptively candescent shadows of such a broadcasting giant. And a superb biography to boot. I don't even possess one of Napoleon's timepieces...

I'm a somewhat rational, realistic mammal. Allowing for the quixotic, ephemeral nature of the beast that is Newcastle United, i'd (naively) hoped that we'd reached the stage where making an arse of this thing of ours was to be a mere thing of the past. The Howard Hughes of Berkshire has indeed been the first owner in living memory to invest his own money ( rightly or wrongly, people will argue nonetheless), but lord on high, what earthly purpose does such a poorly-worded, grammatically inept and frankly unhelpful statement ever hope to achieve? Extract the inherent hope from a large percentage of Newcastle fans (again, rightly or wrongly, i'm not a Rod Serling-esque judge), then you're left with what exactly - an abridged version of hope? A re-adjusted, malajusted evaluation of expectation? I highly doubt anyone is kidding themselves prior to this released statement that NUFC are to storm their way to a European finish. However, Everton football club have managed rather well this past few years on a prudent budget without ever having to resort to some quasi-populisist nonsense as per this evening's statement. In short, what was the f***ing point?

Rumours on Merseyside that we're definitely in for Vaughan, one other Championship club interested also. Could be shite, find out either way come 5pm Tomorrow.