Dyeyzzon

Think they let us off by taking Downing off just when he was finding his range. Didn't seem to threaten much after.

Right, time to rate this. Krul 6 - Not much to do really, dealt with all that was needed but nothing spectacular. Debuchy 7.5 - Much improved from last week offensively and defensively. MYM 6.5 - Looked shaky in the first half, decent second. Coloccini 7 - Did ok, standard Colo performance. Santon 7.5. - Did ok defensively and looked a good outlet. Ben Arfa 6 - Carrying too much baggage. Clearly tasked with the job of finding a way through, all on his own. Sissoko 6.5 - Tireless but no end product. Anita 7 - Did well to compensate for Cabaye and Tiote's absences by playing a mix of their roles well. Marveaux 6 - Didn't really have much go for him today. A few decent deliveries though. Cisse 4 - Headless chicken stuff, poor in a partnership with Ameobi. How do you use this man properly... Ameobi 4 - What was the point...lost the ball in some promising attacking moves, just not in the same wavelength. Sammy 6.5 - Decent pace, looked good. Gouffran 4 - Had the two best chances. Took too long to shoot in the first, bad miss in the next. The latter shows he's not a natural striker. Pardew 4 - Props for starting Anita and Marveaux, but Shola shouldn't even be there. Set us up ok defensively, but clueless in making it tick going forward. Coward.

It's the negativity and cowardice by our manager that annoys me. We have no style, no philosophy but to attempt (not even successfully accomplish) the task of countering the opposition.

This. If nothing has changed over 3 months, what more would people expect Pardew to conjure up week in, week out?

Not a single shot on target. Absolute disgrace.

Winning the first headers

Ben Arfa must've eaten Tiote's lunch

West Ham United: Jaaskelainen, Demel, O'Brien, Collins, Reid, Noble, Diame, Nolan, Downing, Jarvis, Maiga #WHULINEUP West Ham United subs: Adrian, Rat, Tomkins, Diarra, Morrison, Cole, Vaz Te #WHULINEUP

Rewarded for his preseason form. Ffs, if Shola is our answer to Fat Sam's air force

Might have missed something, why is Gouffran out again? Or is it just Pardew?

#NUFC (4-4-2): Krul; Debuchy, Coloccini ©, Yanga-Mbiwa, Santon; Ben Arfa, Sissoko, Anita, Marveaux; Shola Ameobi, Cissé.

GW 2 Fulham 2-1 Arsenal Everton 2-0 West Brom Hull City 0-1 Norwich Newcastle 2-1 West Ham Southampton 3-1 Sunderland Stoke City 1-0 Crystal Palace Aston Villa 2-2 Liverpool Cardiff City 1-4 Man City Tottenham 2-1 Swansea Man Utd 2-2 Chelsea

Aye, there was once when Colo was done for pace but Mbiwa was there to cover up. They seem to complement each other very well.

Prolly meant s***tiest start in 25 years

Thought he was quick as f***. City tried to exploit his side but he had the pace to get to Navas. Promising

I missed staying up to 5AM for a bumming.

Taylor man...comical.

Positives at least

As expected.

Two headless chickens and one headless t*** in the midfield.

Jonas over Anita in midfield I'd rather play Bigi ffs, at least he can distribute the ball in a Cabaye-esque fashion.

Which they'd just put it on some open area, that would at least look like art. Brick wall

Day does indeed follow night.

GW 1 Liverpool 2-0 Stoke City Arsenal 2-1 Aston Villa Norwich 1-1 Everton Sunderland 1-1 Fulham West Brom 1-1 Southampton West Ham 1-1 Cardiff City Swansea 1-0 Man Utd Crystal Palace 1-3 Tottenham Chelsea 5-0 Hull City Man City 3-1 Newcastle Chelsea 3-1 Aston Villa

So, we're getting two strikers with track records of sex scandals