Stottie

You'd expect Rooney to head somewhere like MLS once he stops playing regularly for Man U. The only lesser Prem table you could see him going to is Everton, and that would be with a 70%+ pay cut. To break Shearer's record, Rooney will probably need to score the remaining goals for Man U. Given the likely scenario, Ancelotti/Pep/Klopp etc. managing Man U in two seasons' time is going to want to play someone else and will have anything up to 100M to get that player in. That's if Van Gaal doesn't do it first. Common sense says they should buy a central striker this window or next, and they can afford the best one available and willing to go there, whoever he may be.

They were shitter last season and still finished top 4, they'll sadly be fine. Possibly the biggest factor is whether Sturridge can get and stay fit. If he can, there's twenty goals in him and the whole dynamic of Liverpool's attack changes. Nine more points and they overtake Man U. Rooney looks very far off getting twenty on the evidence so far. I hope something happens anyway because Man U don't deserve an unchallenged run to the Champions League. If it weren't Van Gaal and Man Utd, the press would let rip for creating so little with the most expensive squad in Premiership history. Imagine if it were Avram Grant at Chelsea or Mancini at City. Juan Mata in particular looks wasted in the role he's currently in.

Towards the end of the game when Tiote was on, Southampton started getting lots of joy going straight through us up the middle. When I say they, it was mainly Mane on his own. Swansea are a throughball team, so we'll need pressure on Ki and Shelvey otherwise they'll pass us to ribbons.

Swansea should be much tougher defensively than the new/makeshift back five Southampton had out last week. The stats have them down as not much of a crossing team though, so they mightn't be able to exploit our most glaring weakness in the opening game. Maybe a low scoring game. 1-0 to them or 1-1.

The knives would come out in full force if Pardew were England manager. All he has is a career of false dawns followed by failure. He has no record to fall back on, like Van Gaal at Man U. Any tantrums etc. will be met with the pushing the lino, headbutting that player, and calling Pellegrini a cunt stories getting another airing. Whoever's up next also has the perfect banana skin of two competitive games against Scotland. At Palace in the meantime, their new keeper looked a bit slow getting across to the long ranger he conceded against Norwich. The lad in question, Alex McCarthy, couldn't displace Rob Green at QPR last year, so we might have some classic Pardew transfer logic (Obertan etc.) at play. With that clown that was here as goalkeeping coach, I can see them conceding a few more this year. Crap at the back is the easiest way to slide down the league.

Re: Townsend, I think he's been a victim of the big squad rotation and general instability at Tottenham in recent seasons. All the changes in manager and all the transfer ins and outs, esp. with the Bale money. Sigurdsson slotting back in at Swansea so well suggests that he wasn't used properly or given a proper chance at Spurs. Danny Rose may well have slipped under the radar too if he hadn't done as well at the Mackems. Some players have thrived at Tottenham, Lloris and Kane obviously, but it doesn't seem like the easiest club to have played for.

Gayle has 12 in just under 2000 minutes in the Prem, just over one in two. He might be a good bet for top scorer in the Championship.

They have filled 54,000 seats before, but it might be a push for them to do it in 2016/7....

His big cross came with him pelting down the right touchline. Well played by him, but I don't think he's capable of doing that on the side he spent most of the match.

Maybe the problem was that Thauvin's agent heard Pardew talk about attractive attacking football and then checked out some of our games.

It's almost Ronaldo's trademark expression, but Colo is so weak now. He really is a soft touch. So lucky that Yoshida didn't score or Mane after Colo let him cut inside. Janmaat was beaten far too easily for #2 as well. Wiki has him at 6'1 to Shane Long's 5'11, but he didn't get much of a challenge in. They ran us ragged in the last twenty minutes, but let's just say that was fitness and the disruption from Anita going off. All in all, a good point!

I'm second guessing other peoples' thoughts a bit, but I got the feeling watching the game that it demonstrated what the Pardew Out campaign was all about. For anyone who didn't know, that is. We've still got Ashley and a squad with plenty of problems, but we got a glimpse of our players playing closer to their potential than they have for a long time. It was heartening to see.

If Obertan is not going to help Haidara into the bargain, we might as well have kept HBA.

I don't rate Haidara as a defender, or as much of an attacker for that matter, but at least he might get some decent coaching now.

Pretty good on the whole. Positive going forward and 60% possession against a team not on its holidays for the first time in ages. We conceded the second most goals in the league last year and needless to say it still shows. Still lots of work to do, but three weeks in the window to get someone else in. They've got a makeshift/depleted-by-transfers/new-boy back four and keeper out and that shows too. Miskicks galore and a handball. It looks worth going for the win, esp. if they played away in Europe on Thursday. Obertan off and Ayoze or Aarons on for starters.

Pretty much out of nothing and against the run of play. Great header. Bright start on the whole, should have had a penalty.

I'm disappointed with Obertan over Aarons or Perez but no Gouffran or Williamson after the preseason games is a relief. Good to see Chancel go straight in too.

Yoshida is a big step down on Alderweireld. Bertrand out too, and Schneiderlin was part of the midfield screen. Defensively they'll probably be weaker. Rodriguez back starting. He only got a few minutes in their Europa League games.

No Ayoze/Aarons but otherwise pretty good. They're tough opposition who've already played competitively, so maybe err on the side of caution. Howay the Lads!

From their viewpoint, if they think he can get them promotion, they should keep him and let him walk for free next summer. Promotion will be worth what 50M?, four times what they'll get by selling him. From our time in the Championship, the biggest difference looked to be in the quality of strikers. You can make defensive mistakes and not get punished. See also the number that Nolan and Shola scored. You'd expect Austin to get 25 plus if he plays 40+ games. If Spurs have ended up with no cover for Kane this late in the window, I can see him going there though.

In fairness to Keano, didn't he ship out all the players involved in that sex video straight away? Now they just make you captain.

My view is that McClaren is not incompetent so it takes "the manager" out of the list of things to be especially concerned about. It means we can instead focus on what Ashley is doing to the club. All of the inept set pieces and set piece defending under Pardew and Carver were only Ashley's fault in so much as those two were Ashley appointments. It will be easier to focus on transfer policy when its not a case of Williamson playing because the manager won't pick MYM.

I can see us losing, but not as badly as we would have done at the tail end of last season. We'll be better than under Carver, and I think they'll be more weakened by the players they sold this time than last time. Maybe 1-2.

My main prediction is that Man U will still be well short of challenging for the title, and Liverpool will do better than last year. I rate Clyne, Milner and Sturridge, assuming he plays. Benteke too of course. Gerrard was a millstone, as was Balotelli, easily the worst signing of the season. Gerrard->Milner and Balotelli->Benteke is worth 9 or 10 points, even with Brenda calling the shots. For Man U to do well, they need to sort out the keeper situation and get a top class striker in. Man U have loads of money, so they still may make bids at the last minute, as with Falcao last time. As things stand, their squad looks even more unbalanced than the one LVG inherited (Rooney RVP Hernandez Wellbeck). After di Maria, Falcao, Herrera, and Valdes, there are also doubts over whether LVG is the right man to handle whatever marquee signings they can get in. Premiership Winners: Chelsea (by a smaller margin) Runners Up: Arsenal (add a striker and they'll win the league) 3rd-6th: City, .......big gap......, ferk it, Liverpool, Man U, Spurs Relegation: Leicester, Sunderland, one of the promoted teams Overachievers: (relatively speaking) Liverpool Underperformers: Man U Top Goal Scorer: Costa/Aguero too injury prone, so Kane. Looks far too good to be a one-season wonder Break Out Year: Milner back to Villa form? Season to Forget: Van Gaal PFA Player of the Year: Hazard or Alexis Sanchez PFA Young Player of the Year: Kane, possibly Sterling Manager of the Year: Wenger (for winning or going pretty close) First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Ranieri Newcastle United Where will we finish?: 11th/12th, which sounds meh, but we'll score a few more, concede at least fifteen less, and do much better at set pieces. I think we'll see identifiable progress and won't be worrying about relegation Top Goalscorer?: Cisse if still around, Mitrovic if not How will we do in the cup competitions?: Maybe win a tie or two before the draw gives us Chelsea in the fourth or fifth round as normal How will we do in the derby games?: Win one of them Other: How will Bournemouth fair in their first outing in the Premier League: Dunno, but good luck to em! When will Crystal Palace fans start to resent Alan Pardew: Haven't seen their fixtures, but I guess there'll be doubts by Christmas How many goals will Balotelli score this season: None, he'll be off How will De Jong get injured this season: Collision with Tiote?

In the Prem, Chicharito has played 102 for 37 goals, 12 assists. A pretty good output. But then, he's only played 4,840 minutes in those games. The equivalent of 53 whole games. 37 goals and 12 assists (for a "poacher"!) in 53 games. That's elite striker level. Maybe only Aguero (Sturridge?) will be higher over more than one season. Okay you can discount some of the goals as number 3 or 4 coming on as fresh legs in a four goal win, but not that many. Costa and Aguero get meaningless goals in one sided games too. In the CL he's got 8 in 32 games, but only 1,689 minutes. Less than 20 games equivalent. In La Liga, he got 7 goals and 7 assists in less than 10 games (!) worth of minutes. The boy deserves a bit more love.