Stottie

Chunky!

Sorry if Giggs, but I hope the dubbed-on crowd sound has the Ashley song at least twice each half.

His close control was epic at drawing fouls to win free kicks. I seem to remember him being the most fouled player in the league at one point. ASM wipes the floor with him at dribbling.

I suppose it is anti-Semitic to point out that despite all of the things mentioned in the cartoon, Israel is increasingly cosying up to Saudi Arabia. Should the things mentioned in the cartoon change the way we look upon Israel, or only the way we look upon Newcastle United Football Club?

I was a kid in the 1970s and therefore naive, but I don't remember folk wanting Liverpool, Villa, or Forest to lose in the European Cup. Maybe my old man did, I just didn't notice. It's clear that a lot of people are happy to see Liverpool, City, Man Utd (if they were in it) lose now, myself among them.

I think it says a lot about the way that we play that both ASM and Miggy are very tricky on the ball but neither has won a penalty this season. They've never had the ball in the box.

Pickford unconvincing again. Beaten from outside the box, and then has it easily slotted past him in a one-on-one where he didn't go to the ball.

As penalty saves go, it was in the top 10%. Agreed about the non-enforcement of the rules. You'd think it would be easy to check with VAR. Any rule-breaking by a keeper is going to matter much more than encroachment by outfield players, which is enforced. As we know ourselves, it can even be enforced by berk referees who erroneously take the penalty away.

Yeah, maybe there is a mental block or something after all. It is harder to score in the PL than the Champo, but the difference is not as stark as this.

He keeps doing great things with the ball in shit positions, forty yards out and on the touchline. Imagine him in a team where he got it on the edge of the box. Us still with Rondon and Ayoze if you like.

FT. That has to be the easiest game we've ever had at Southampton away, a bogey fixture for years and years. They played like they wanted to give it away, and we finally managed to accept one of their gifts. Steve Bruce, what a lucky twat.

Valery! Call on me! Call on meeee, Valery! Thank fuck for that!

30 minutes of second half vs. 10 men completely wasted. No even a half chance created.

Shit second half so far. C'mon lads!

Yep, that's dangerous play.

I think the rebound was easier there, but never mind.

Two very naive goals conceded by Bournemouth.

We must play Dubs next game. One game off Wembley, and that's once a generation now.

HT. Shit game in an over-rated league, there to be won against half-arsed opposition, but we didn't have the nous to do it. Presumably they must be accumulating points in the same way as us, headers from free kicks and corners etc., because there was no craft in open play from them. Their defense gave us more than Norwich, so I don't see the hype there either.

I dunno if we can do it, but Burnley deserve to lose this.

Burnley have been on the beach most of this match but have stepped it up a bit now they've gone full troglodyte.

Rodriguez (sp?) misses a sitter off a Danny Rose backpass.

If Ritchie has to play in midfield, I'd play ASM as center forward. At least that way he'd get to beat people in a dangerous area.

Lazaro red. Collective responsibility after Longstaff not given a "man on" shout. Christ we really are shite.

Great hit. Probably game over.