Checko

Fuck me is football always this boring when Newcastle aren't playing?

Fuck it, looks a good shout, he'll do. Seems to have played a bit on the right in highlights. Please Cc Eddie Howe. Maybe tell him he's actually called Lawrence Major though.

Yeah would have loved Olise, but we're not able to compete with the biggest mo-fo's yet sadly.

That would be class. @KaKa you seem to watch all football matches, who's our man?

I'm the opposite, can't stand the bland short back and sides brigade that is the current England team for example. No wonder they've got no va va voom.

Personally I'd prefer a cultured ball stroker on the RW, rather than a headless hyperchicken type. No idea who that is though, I haven't played Football Manager in years. Some players though, their touch is immaculate, they're calm under pressure and everything they do looks so easy. You just know they have incredibly well-fitting underwear. I want one of those.

Why can't we just buy some jailbait Brazilian wonderkid like a proper club?

Bruno loves us and wants to have our babies. My best guess, the club agreed that if a sugar daddy wants his hot piece of ass for a cool hundred mil this June then fine. We get a boatload of cash and time to plan to replace him. Otherwise, he's here for this year to try and get us back to the land of milk and honey. He is, after all, quite literally the figurative heartbeat of the team. So hard to replace him, our squad's not fleshed out enough yet to lose a world class player and cope easily IMO. If by next summer global warming's curdled the milk and killed off all the bees then there'll probably be a conversation with his representatives about what fee we might accept. But he'll be club captain by then and we'll have named a children's hospital and samba school after him and big Joe. He'll be in too deep. Anyway, saying all that Man City will probably buy him for 80 million on 1st July.

It's all very exciting today!

It's Bruno G-Day

Perhaps he's the next Salah. Perhaps he's the next Adama Traore. Perhaps he's the next Rolando Aarons. If we sell him, worst case scenario for us is he goes on to be a brilliant player for someone else (though we may benefit from a sell-on clause in that case), but we've still make a chunky profit on things so still a tidy net positive.

Anderson'll be 22 in November & needs to be playing regular first team football now, on loan or sold to another club. I don't think he's going to get the game time with us to develop as he could otherwise. He's clearly got some tools, but he needs the game time and match experience to learn to use them better.

DCL seems a decent to good CF. Everton forum says he's not very clinical and the stats seem to bear that up - from FB Ref league goals scored is 79% of his expected league goals since 2017/18 when Xg stats start there - 67.3 xG, 53 goals. Excluding penalties it's 75% - 62.5 non-penalty xG, 47 non-penalty goals. - https://fbref.com/en/players/59e6e5bf/Dominic-Calvert-Lewin Alround game looks good when I've seen him, mobile, good in the air can bring people into play. A bit different from Isak who you can't play it direct to. Injury record is also a concern, given the big problems having an injury prone back-up striker caused this year. Guess the question is, would this be the best use of the money we have? We're looking at around, what, 20million? Plus 100k plus a week (someone said he's on £120,000 now). That's a big chunk for a backup striker who's not very clinical, had a lot of injuries and will probably not have huge sell on value, he'll be 28 this year. Feels like the back up role would be perfect for a younger prospect - they'd get game time to develop but wouldn't have the pressure of being the main man initially. A prospect would probably be cheaper, at least in wages, and if they do well could be profitable in the long run. Is there really no good young player somewhere in the world we could get for a cheaper oveall package? Overall, feels like he'd be somewhere between a decent to good signing for the money, fitness record brings it down a bit, but could we do better than decent to good?

Imagine if we sign Lloyd Kelly, DCL and Neto, we'd basically be a teaching hospital not a football club. Would we be able to apply for government funding?

He was born & grew up in in the UK and claims French nationality from his mum. Seems fair enough for him think he's European IMO.

At the end of the day, we're in control of the group, we'll get through. We've got enough top class players to scrape through an easy draw or two. Maybe nick a penalty shootout against a good team and at the very worst it's a creditable finish and every man in the country's wearing a waistcoat during sex again for a couple of weeks.

Ellen White is a much better pundit than Joe Hart. Think she has a very natural TV presence as well.

I reckon Olise might stay at Palace another year if a Champions League club doesn't come in for him (obviously there's Bayern, but not sure that's his dream move).

Begonias flower in summer and should be planted in spring. They're also tender so probably won't survive the winter up north. All very on brand for Ashworth.

Think Foden on the left, who wants to come infield all the time, won't work well when you have a fullback like Trippier who wants to cut back infield as well on to his right. Someone's got to stretch the play and get to the byline. Would rather have Bellingham in CM with Rice, Foden 10 (though with plenty of flexibility to swap with Rice) and a LW who's going to offer width and get to the byline.

Tadic is a Football Manager blast from the past!

Watching this game, sometimes football's simple. Get down the flanks, get a cross in, cause problems. All the tapping it around and that's the only thing that's caused a problem all game.

Trips did some overlappping recently. Nothing specifically relevant to this summer, but the one thing he mentioned about future plans was that he hopes to be playing still in 5 years time and is perfectly happy to drop down the divisions to do so.

Now I'm hearing Froggy's posts in a Humphrey Bogart voice.