Monkey Alan

I wonder what other verbs we could use?

Ideally, we probably need a fairly comfortable Spain win in the final. Enough for the English press to give Southgate pelters and get him sacked but not enough to stop Man Utd employing him in November.

Right wing and centre half.

A-man-da Staveley, Up to your neck in debt, Amanda Staveley, But not one regret, Amanda Staveley, I want to kiss Mehrdad too.

Oh Mandy, you came and you gave without taking (apart from the money you owe people left, right and centre)

Miley for O'Riley would be a wily exchange.

Gallowgate convert brewin'

He's thrown a kettle over a pub, mate. What have you ever done?

Sometimes value at the ticket office is nice too. Ginola was a right old fart when we signed him but he entertained us for a while.

I don't like how football talk has turned into amateur accounting. Every thread on here is about balance sheets. I kind of miss picking up The Chron and going, "Hoo, fatha, did ya knaa we've signed some bloke caalled Clarence wi' lang hair?"

A three man arbitration panel with fears the third one might not be impartial? Sounds familiar. Ah well, maybe it won't even get that far. Maybe they've got a trunk of full evidence that will make the PL fill their undies at the first pre-trial hearing, tuned into online by 30,000 viewers.

Given his comments about VAR a few months ago and this latest interview gaff, it may be that he needs more media training. I'll get you started Anth: We weren't at our best today, there's more a lot more to come - We were shit. We fully support the gaffer - We're on holiday 'til he's gone. Yeah obviously... - Sentence opening particle

Can't wait to see the spokes on this bloke's wheel.

100% agree. Round pegs and bum holes. Putting Gordon on the right is an awful idea.

Does a struggling salesman suddenly start turning up on a bicycle? No. He turns up in a newer car. Perception.

If selling Flash really was plan B, I wonder what sort of bunse we'd have been looking at.

No room for sentimentality. I'm appalled by his loyalty. Should've made him balance on his right leg as part of a club sobriety test and then fined him two year's wedge when he when fell over.

£55m for Wood, Shelvey and Anderson. Perhaps we can sell them Sunderland airport before the window shuts.

He came from Greece via Nottingham Forest, Nothing dodgy, just replacing Martin, honest, That's why we, Paid the fee.

I'm still baffled as to how we're not circumventing all the rules willy nilly. We're owned by Saudi Arabia and the #1 Tory Party donor. They must know every trick in the book - funneling money through casinos, buying post-modern anti-art for hundreds of millions, secretly filming Richard Masters receiving footjobs from underage girls etc. How are we still bound by the rules for goodness' sake?

Ruddy Livramento Schar Kelly Burn Longstaff Bruno McTominay Elanga DCL Barnes Should batter Southampton first game and we'll still have Tonali to come in and Isak off the bench if we need to mix it up. We'll probably even have some of the Gordon money left to use in January too. Back in for Ekitike maybe?

I've no idea about Elanga but Anderson is a second too slow in everything he does. I wish him well but he won't make waves in the PL as long as his weetabix come out his bullet hole.

The PL would've had to deduct from my personal savings account to make me find common cause with Mike Ashley.

Sounds like a case for Steve Barnes to solve.