Fak

Well he had nowt to do to be fair

Well I resent the accusation because I think Van Dijk has performed very well.

Arr that's even worse than the one before.

Do they ever pay any attention to what Jill Scott has ever got to say?

Oh you're drinking carling

I'll bring an empty bottle and you can fill it up

Swear down if Lee Dixon goes on about how hard it is to play against Andorra one more time

Can I come round?

Is there anything decent on the telly tonight once this shower of shit is finished?

Have we actually looked decent under Tuchel yet?

Did Lee Dixon just say he watched Anderson run the midfield for us against Leeds last weekend?

Only Souness would flog Bellamy because he couldn't handle him only to replace him with someone like Anelka.

Luque's debut? Against Man Utd? Did he do anything apart from flick the ball over Rios head and then scuff the shot wide?

I always drop off extra deodorant and toothpaste at @RUHRLYASLEEVESUP's. He absolutely stinks

He was brilliant. Fact.

It wasn't Abdoulaye Faye it was the other one

Don Pablo has spoken.

Blokes a pencil necked bag of piss.

Foreward by Duncan Goodhew.

And he's probably done oral.

Going to London in a fortnight. Phantom of the Opera.

It’s like Comic Relief. Hopkinson is out there in Africa – he's seeing the flies and the starvation – and Al-Rumayyan – if he is the boss – he's in the studio with Jonathan Ross and Lenny Henry. They’re doing their bit counting the money, but their hands are clean, while Hopkinson is down in the office with little starving kids.

Very much a friend first and CEO second. Probably an entertainer third.

Ah you've stumped me. Keep up the good work mate.

Why you that fussed for?