Ketsbaia Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Ashley at training ground, announcing to the players that the takeover is done. Hughton in charge for SW game, Shearer to take up the reins on thursday. Taylor to stay, Barton and Collocini to go Campbell and Lvenkrands in Beckford in by next week plus three other signings already lined up. Carver and Lee to the club next week, Hughton to stay, Calderwood to go Can't name my sources, but it's nailed on. clever Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
bovineblue Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 I heard Ashley was a fat cunt. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toon Amy Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 I'm hearing that the story of Moat taking over the club is wide of the mark... Shepherd is coming back!!!111 exclusive! can't name the source, but hopefully you won't recognise him. http://www.newcastlebanter.co.uk/css/alan_oliver.jpg Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toon Amy Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 PS my source is usually very unreliable. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
bovineblue Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 I heard off a guy called Pickaxe that Sol Campbell was actually in Newcastle to buy the club and put himself in charge as player/ manager/ chairman. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ObiChrisKenobi Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Setanta Sports News are reporting that Boro and the Toon have merged to form a Super Club. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keefaz Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Setanta Sports News are reporting that Boro and the Toon have merged to form a Super Club. Newmiddlecastlebrough United FC? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
MW Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Setanta Sports News are reporting that Boro and the Toon have merged to form a Super Club. Newmiddlecastlebrough United FC? Middlecastle New Borough City ftw Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kanji Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 I've heard via Alan Smith's bang-peice in Orlando, that he will have to cut his hair before hte club is sold, there is a hold-up in the negotiations as Smudge values his hair more than his high salary. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 There is an American who has an Israeli friend who is a big fan of the SJP club. Now this American saw the trouble we were in so decided to buy the club and help us out. He plans to spend lots of money, but also get involved in training by teaching the players a new skill move where you are going backwards but it looks like you are going forwards. Anyhow, he has had to make billions to buy us by faking his own death. Only trouble is is that he's helping the wrong club by mistake and hasn't realised yet. We should all be entertained though. Except Blefuscu. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Phil K Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 I heard we weren't relegated at all really. We'll all wake up and find NUFC in the shower, still a premier team. It was all a nightmare really. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dover Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Just had a phone call Ashleys sold to Afghanistan consortium, they plan to run training camps and invest heavily in new fire power, all positive stuff. Ameobi to join the infidel elite as part of an exchange program, Alan Smith contract promoted to footballer on strength of recent performances, includes performance bonus for "angry faces". Joey Barton to run first team social club in aid of team building. All from a reliable source, via satelliate phone and pre-recorded message. Done deal Bearded man to be at match on thursday wearing rucksack. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
kane2005 Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 > Ashley has been to the training ground announcing the takeover to players/staff > Hughton in charge tomorrow, Shearer in charge from Thursday > Barton and Colo to be sold, Campbell and Lovenkrands offered contracts, Taylor stays > Beckford and 2 or 3 others signed by close of transfer window > Rob Lee and John Carver appointed, Hughton kept on as coach, Calderwood goes Just recieved this via email. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toon Amy Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Just recieved this txt, no idea if it is true, anyone heard owt? Ashley hs bn 2 traing grnd 2 announce da takeover 2 players + staff Hughton in charge 2morrow, Shearer in charge Thurs Barton + Colo 2 b sold, Campbell + Lovenkrands offered contracts, Taylor stays Beckford + 2 or 3 signed by close transf window Rob Lee + John Carver appntd, Hughton kept as coach, Calderwood goes Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
bovineblue Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Moat not Big Enough for Toon Takeover A fresh twist in the ongoing saga at Saint James Park with claims from a source within the club that a £100 million bif from businessman Barry Moat is set to be turned down leaving the culb in the hands of Mike Ashley. A club insider has revealed that Ashley doesn't believe Moat is big enough to take the reigns at Newcastle saying 'The chairman's seat is a big seat to fill. I'm a big man, Shepherd was a big man, I don't think Moat is big enough. If he wants to take over the club he'll need to increase his pie intake by at least 50%. The people of Newcastle like a fatty in charge, it gives them comfort that even with another shit season, they can always eat their troubles away." The source is believed to be credible but was strangely able to string together a coherent sentence. Our source also revealed that the player exodus was set to continue with superstar striker Shola Ameobi looking set to make an exit by the end of the week. With three firm offers on the table, only a fee is to be agreed for the in form striker. This could be a problem as Ashley's valuation has increased with the young starlette's blistering form on the weekend, "Shola's a three goal a game striker now. He could be worth upwards of £100m. In fact I think he's English so we can double that" It is believed that the offers received so far fail to meet this valuation with leading bidders Wolves looking to seal a deal believed to be in the region of £10 and a carton of diet coke. Ashley is expected to cave in to the deal by tomorrow. http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/sport/457434/Ashely-set-to-clear-decks-Toon-owner-wants-big-money-players-out.html Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rocker Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Moat not Big Enough for Toon Takeover A fresh twist in the ongoing saga at Saint James Park with claims from a source within the club that a £100 million bif from businessman Barry Moat is set to be turned down leaving the culb in the hands of Mike Ashley. A club insider has revealed that Ashley doesn't believe Moat is big enough to take the reigns at Newcastle saying 'The chairman's seat is a big seat to fill. I'm a big man, Shepherd was a big man, I don't think Moat is big enough. If he wants to take over the club he'll need to increase his pie intake by at least 50%. The people of Newcastle like a fatty in charge, it gives them comfort that even with another shit season, they can always eat their troubles away." The source is believed to be credible but was strangely able to string together a coherent sentence. Our source also revealed that the player exodus was set to continue with superstar striker Shola Ameobi looking set to make an exit by the end of the week. With three firm offers on the table, only a fee is to be agreed for the in form striker. This could be a problem as Ashley's valuation has increased with the young starlette's blistering form on the weekend, "Shola's a three goal a game striker now. He could be worth upwards of £100m. In fact I think he's English so we can double that" It is believed that the offers received so far fail to meet this valuation with leading bidders Wolves looking to seal a deal believed to be in the region of £10 and a carton of diet coke. Ashley is expected to cave in to the deal by tomorrow. http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/sport/457434/Ashely-set-to-clear-decks-Toon-owner-wants-big-money-players-out.html :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest n4e Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 On a different note anyone remember the rumours that Carragher was shagging Terry's mam during the last world cup ? There was always ones about Dyer buring £20 notes infront of someone in a certain bar/club aswelll. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcmk Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Leeds only say Beckford is available if we swap Andy Carroll. Also Joey Bartons agent has been touting him around and 3 clubs are interested one of them being Hull. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
WarrenBartonCentrePartin Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 David Craig is leading a consortium to buy the club. Hence why he's first to report everything. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NG32 Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Tony Cunningham is our new manager, come Thursday. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
bovineblue Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 David Craig is leading a consortium to buy the club. Hence why he's first to report everything. Craig David to be new manager. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stu Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 Ashley has made every member of the club shop team redundant. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pilko Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 Roeder is still looking at Kuyt. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Consortium of one Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 Barry Moat still calls me every other week or so to make sure I'm still interested in throwing in with him to buy the club. I still can't understand most of what he says. Man, he just talks so fast. I haven't the heart to tell him I've spent most of the money I raised to buy the club, though. He still thinks I'm some big money American. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foluwashola Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 The bodies of the 300 have been stuffed with sage & onion and are being fed to cockney rapists. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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