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Heron

by Heron
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cp40

cp40

Posted
Posted

Got the Legends on, should be interesting.

caller rings up requesting that numpty Macca to come on and sing Nat King Cole's 'Unforgettable'  :lol:

 

And Macca comes on but doesn't know the words!  :lol:

 

 

fair play to the talking shithouse that is macca- more balls than horswill.

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Guest neesy111

Guest neesy111

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Some Emails I've been Sent:

 

 

Dear ALS

 

I've started writing this at 8.48am on the 1st of November 2010. For tho=e of you that live in a hole - it's the day after Halloween and a day a=ter the horror show of a 5-1 derby defeat by Newcastle. The following i= a list of things that can fuck off.

 

1. This hangover can fuck right off. It was a spectacular night, went ou= at about 10.30 and back home with a kebab by 12. Smashed.

 

2. The lad I had a fight with in walkabout. Yeah, you. Fuck off. Admitte=ly, the fight was completely my fault and there was absolutely no reaso= for me to start anything with you for being upstairs. Given I was the =nly Warrior left, there's a good chance that bar wasn't being left open=or me alone. But Warrior pride and Warrior power and all that jazz is =pparently very convincing to a man who thought downing a quarter of a b=ttle of vodka before he jumped in the taxi was a good idea.

 

3. The bouncers can fuck off. Why didn't you just kick me out? It would =ave saved a lot of time and embarrassment for me. And why the hell were=ou so nice to me about it? Could you not have lived up to the stereoty=e and leathered me? I definitely deserved it.

 

4. Steve Bruce, you can Fuck off. Mate, you've been out done by Chris Ho=ghton, a man with approximately 5 minutes of managerial experience in t=is league. Yes Steve you're ugly as fuck, yes you look like an old burn= woman but that is not an excuse for failing to get the lads fired up f=r the biggest game of the season. I know it's a concept lost on players=hese days, but how can 51,889 (not a sell out) delusional Geordies scr=aming as though Greggs had just gone 24 hours not fire you up into at l=ast not freezing and playing like a bunch of men who had just lost thei= anal virginity?

 

5. Not remembering what I did last night after leaving Walkabout, that c=n fuck off. And while I'm on it, just why is there an Australian themed=ar in Sheffield, possibly the city least likely to win a 'feels like A=stralia' contest if ever there is one.

 

6. The stuff that looks a bit like pizza, only is stuck to my arm. You c=n Fuck off.

 

7. Girls who don't understand just how much pain a defeat like that can =ause. You can fuck off. If I hear "Get a grip" one more time, I'm going=o break down in tears in front of you and make sure everybody knows yo= caused me to be like that, then you'll feel like a right tit. Admitted=y I will then be a grown man crying, but it's totally worth it. And to =e honest the prospect of getting taken to pieces every single day by my=cum supporting mates does make me want to cry.

 

8. Part time fans, you can fuck off. I'm amazed by how many people I've =ever known mention football before have all of a sudden got an incredib=e interest. If you don't watch match of the day religiously, if you don=t check websites and papers every single day to see just what shitty ge=eric interview that you're 3rd choice left back has given the local pre=s about wanting more games but respecting the managers decisions (get o=er it mate, you're about to be loaned out to Rotherham, and I live in S=effield now, this isn't a city you want to be sent to) If you have neve= spent £100 on an away day that you really couldn't afford, if you an= your dad don't ring each other every week after the game to discuss yo=r shared pain or joy... you are not a football fan. So fuck off and let=he real fans have my attention so they can reap the rewards of a victo=y like that by taking the piss out of fans like me.

 

9. The Warriors can fuck off. You're like heroin dealers - you got me in=n that rookie weekend and let me batter people, you got me addicted to=he hits. Then all of a sudden you bring out the amazing amounts of mon=y it costs each week to be part of a team like this, the playbook so I =ave to fucking learn stuff and all the piss take. Believe it or not cud=les, being compared to a pig on the day of that drubbing does genuinely=ause upset. If it wasn't hilarious I would definitely have taken excep=ion. Now don't get me wrong, I love this team already and being part of=t is by far the best thing about university but fucking hell lads, I'm=sed to real football causing me pain like this never mind American foo=ball. What have I got myself into?

 

10. Finally, but definitely most importantly, Sunderland AFC can fuck of=. Now I know I get piss take for only being a fan for 8 years but let's=e fair, I'm a bigger supporter of my club than most. This genuinely hu=ts, to be addicted to a club like this, causing me crippling financial =nd chest pain. I want to stop caring but I can't. By the way, the news =an fuck off, how is Nolan's hat-trick the top sports story? Westwood is=he world's number one golfer, report that and stop hurting me with you= words. Lads you let me down yesterday, but not just me, you let us all=own. The people that you better not forget, pay your fucking wages. If=e didn't care about football then you wouldn't have a job, if we didn'= buy tickets, buy shirts, buy limited edition tie clips, buy our sky sp=rts subscriptions and buy newspapers then nobody would care about you, =nd you'd be working on a building site in Rotherham (refer to the previ=us mention for a description) because you're all thick as shit. We do a=l this for you and you can't even pretend to care about the derby? The =ne game in our season we want to win more than we want our parents to l=ve? We make you what you are, We worship you and We deserve better than=hat. In January you better put this right.

 

I have to go to a fucking lecture now, which can fuck off. But rest assu=ed this pain will last for months and months, life will not go on. But ='m Sunderland till I die and nothing will change that now, I'm addicted=o this game and this club even though you're about as welcoming as a h=sband with a nasty domestic abuse habit. RANT OVER. Thanks for reading.=0D

 

KEEP THE FAITH

FTM

SUNDERLAND TILL I DIE

A*** C*****

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Guest neesy111

Guest neesy111

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Another one:

 

Dear ALS

 

I didn't think I could've felt more embarrassed and humiliated since wal=ing out of the 7-1 drubbing away at Everton back in 2007, oh, how wrong= was. That was the shittest Sunderland display I've ever witnessed and='ve seen some shit in my time. So please Mr Quinn, can I have my 42 qu=d back?

 

We were an absolute disgrace from start to finish. To get beat of the Sc=m is unbearable at the best of times, but to concede five and for us to=how no passion or desire in a game that means so much to us fans makes=hat pill even harder to swallow. We deserved to lose and it probably s=ould've been by a greater margin.

 

I arrived at the Jeremy Kyle holding pen that is Sid James' park with ab=ut 10 minutes before kick-off and I felt slightly optimistic thinking w= could get a decent result, but after climbing 666666 stairs to get to =y seat, my optimism slowly faded away as that smug Geordie git read out=he teams.

 

We were playing 4-5-1 again. Steve Bruce reckons it works and we create =ore chances but I don't like it. The problem with the 4-5-1 system is t=at it offers us no width and looks like we couldn't score in a brothel.=es, it works against the Arsenal's and Man United's of this world when=e swamp the midfield and are not really expected to get a result. Howe=er, it hasn't worked against the teams we should be beating and Newcast=e are one of those teams. Bruce should have realised by now you need to=core goals to win matches and with the 4-5-1 we haven't been, so why t=e fuck are we continuing with this formation when we've got £13m of G=anaian talent on the bench?

 

And so the torture began. We weren't up for the fight and Joey Barton an= Kevin Nolan made our midfield look like a bunch of twats. The five of =hem looked like a bundle of spineless, gutless, pathetic, useless dicks=hat weren't fit to wear the shirt.

 

Our back five was just as terrible. Bramble and Turner couldn't handle C=rroll and Shola and they were to be made to look like world-beaters. Mi=nolet for the first time looked dodgy and Onuoha made that Argie ponce =utierrez look dangerous. Only Bardsley showed any real passion and emer=ed with any credit.

 

As the first went in the typical Sunderland returned - our arses fell ou= and the floodgates came crashing open.

 

By half-time we were three down and it was game over. I wished I'd have =eft there and then and to make matters worse the burger I bought at hal=time tasted like shit. I didn't think it could get any worse, but I was=rong.

 

Unfortunately, every Sunderland fan knew something like this would happe=, and surprise surprise it fucking did. Bramble would go and do somethi=g stupid. So when that bellend Carroll was through on goal, the Titan d=d what all the Sunderland fans and most 17-year-old girls in Newcastle =anted to do and that was flatten the long-hairy twat. And so he did. So=uch so he was sent off and our misery was compounded. I only wished he=d have put the dick out for the season, it would've made me smile ever =o slightly.

 

So we were three down to that lot with 10 men. Fucking marvellous. So wh= on earth did we persist with playing the long ball game with one up to=? It didn't work when we had 11 never mind when we had 10.

 

I'm not one for leaving games early, but when you see Kevin Nolan dancin= around like a chicken and your five nil down you know it's time to lea=e. I have never been so ashamed and depressed after watching Sunderland=

 

To conclude I must say that was the worst performance I've witnessed. Af=er all the hype and expectation, the players and management screwed us =ver. Not one of them can emerge with credit and they need to buck their=deas up. The players need to stop taking the piss and realise what's a= stake. Bruce needs to pull his finger out of his arse and stop playing=he wrong formation and get rid of the driftwood that still surrounds o=r team. Talk is cheap and I don't want to hear any more apologies.

 

I hear Bruce is a big mate of Chris Evans and his mate got it spot on th=s morning. He said today is the most depressing day of the year. He's f=cking spot on.

 

C**** G******

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Guest neesy111

Guest neesy111

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To think the shit Horswill was pedalling last week about what Sunderland were going to do- what a loser for not turning up and facing up to his own bullshit.

 

Should be sacked for not turning up for work.

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WarrenBartonCentrePartin

WarrenBartonCentrePartin

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To think the s*** Horswill was pedalling last week about what Sunderland were going to do- what a loser for not turning up and facing up to his own bullshit.

Malcolm said he did have a bit of a cold yesterday, but both he and Bernie said it wasn't that bad and isn't an excuse.  Bernie has just said 'Micky should've had the balls to come in, we've both done it in the past... if you're listening I can't defend you, you're out of order.'
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pedro111

pedro111

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Apparently Horsewill and Slaven tried to leave early and the stewards wouldnt let them out of the car park because the stadium was in lockdown so in the end they didnt get out until an hour plus after the final whistle!!  :lol: :lol: :lol:

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cp40

cp40

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To think the s*** Horswill was pedalling last week about what Sunderland were going to do- what a loser for not turning up and facing up to his own bullshit.

Malcolm said he did have a bit of a cold yesterday, but both he and Bernie said it wasn't that bad and isn't an excuse.  Bernie has just said 'Micky should've had the balls to come in, we've both done it in the past... if you're listening I can't defend you, you're out of order.'

 

 

hes kind of lost all credibility for future shows, cos when the going gets tough, horswill fucks off.

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Guest neesy111

Guest neesy111

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To think the s*** Horswill was pedalling last week about what Sunderland were going to do- what a loser for not turning up and facing up to his own bullshit.

Malcolm said he did have a bit of a cold yesterday, but both he and Bernie said it wasn't that bad and isn't an excuse.  Bernie has just said 'Micky should've had the balls to come in, we've both done it in the past... if you're listening I can't defend you, you're out of order.'

 

 

hes kind of lost all credibility for future shows, cos when the going gets tough, horswill fucks off.

 

:lol:

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cp40

cp40

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hes kind of lost all credibility for future shows, cos when the going gets tough, horswill f***s off.

 

Typical mackem.

 

 

:-[

 

just walked in.

 

good job i was just E-mailing them demanding he resign. :lol:

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