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The Premier League - Your Verdict


Heron

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Just for the craic - sum up each of the Premier League teams with one phrase, word or image. Please feel free to discuss why also.

 

Arsenal:

Aston Villa:

Birmingham City:

Blackburn Rovers:

Blackpool:

Bolton Wanderers:

Chelsea:

Everton:

Fulham:

Liverpool:

Manchester United:

Manchester City:

Newcastle United:

Stoke City:

Sunderland:

Tottenham:

West Ham United:

West Bromwich Albion:

Wigan Athletic:

Wolverhampton Wanderers:

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Arsenal:  A Gay Barcelona

Aston Villa: Fucked

Birmingham City: Interesting yet boring

Blackburn Rovers:  Shite

Blackpool: Cute, like a baby having a shite

Bolton Wanderers:  Nothing Club

Chelsea:  Too old but will be top 2

Everton:  The way a club should be run

Fulham:  Will never achieve a great deal

Liverpool:  Tianamen Square mkII

Manchester United:  CUNTS

Manchester City: BIGGER CUNTS

Newcastle United:  Shite

Stoke City:  NFL meets premier league

Sunderland:  Like a bleeding pussy

Tottenham:  Hated by all, plus their fans are generally twats

West Ham United: I thought they were fucked financially whats with these signings/approaches gold and sullivan anren't billionaires more debt = more fucked in future

West Bromwich Albion:  Like a paraplegic Model, beautiful yet useless.

Wigan Athletic:  FUCK OF WHELAN

Wolverhampton Wanderers:  Well run.

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Arsenal: Flamboyant

Aston Villa: Managerless

Birmingham City:Bluenose

Blackburn Rovers:Dour

Blackpool:Out of their depth

Bolton Wanderers:cloggers

Chelsea:Cunts

Everton:Thieves

Fulham:likeable

Liverpool:bin dippers

Manchester United:Shitbags

Manchester City:Spoilers

Newcastle United:Nerve Jangling

Stoke City:HOOF

Sunderland:Shit

Tottenham:Saggy Face Cunt

West Ham United:Knees Up Mother Brown

West Bromwich Albion:Boing

Wigan Athletic:Pies

Wolverhampton Wanderers:Thick Mick

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Arsenal: attractive

Aston Villa: nearly

Birmingham City: dour

Blackburn Rovers: dull

Blackpool: dreaming

Bolton Wanderers: empty

Chelsea: ruthless

Everton: spoilers

Fulham: disciplined

Liverpool: lucky

Manchester United: winners

Manchester City: money

Newcastle United: calamitous

Stoke City: hard

Sunderland: horrid

Tottenham: ambitious

West Ham United: stereotyped

West Bromwich Albion: yo-yo

Wigan Athletic: soulless

Wolverhampton Wanderers: meh

 

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Arsenal: paedo

Aston Villa: HAHAHAHA

Birmingham City: Scottish

Blackburn Rovers: dull

Blackpool: f***ed

Bolton Wanderers: nothing club

Chelsea: snobby twats

Everton: financially sensible

Fulham: quiant

Liverpool: thieving twats

Manchester United: massive twats

Manchester City: loaded

Newcastle United: skint

Stoke City: animals

Sunderland: infinitesimal

Tottenham: twitchy trainwreck wrecking ball c*** of a manager

West Ham United: next Leeds

West Bromwich Albion: http://images.subeta.net/items/toy_blue_yoyo.gif

Wigan Athletic: ticking clock

Wolverhampton Wanderers: meh

 

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Newcastle, Stoke, Wigan, Bolton, Blackburn, West Brom, Blackpool, Sunderland, villa, west ham, wolves, birmingham = shite

Man united, city, chelsea, liverpool, arsenal, everton, spurs = wankers

 

 

Change "wankers" to "the good teams" and you've summed up the current state of the Premier League.

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1. Man Utd - Dont know why

2. Chelsea - Think they will bottle it

3. Man City - Still dont think they have enough. Bunch of individuals.

4. Arsenal - With Fabregas staying, they always have a chance of top 4

5. Liverpool - If Torres gets injured, they're fucked, i trust Hodgson for some reason though

6. Spurs - Cunt of a manager, decent players, can see them doing well again

7. Everton - Have more quality than every team below, will overtake Villa this year

8. Villa - Can see them crumbling this season, no team good enough to overtake them though

9. Stoke - Anywhere from here is anyones guess, can see them causing a few suprises, look willing to spend

10. Fulham - Always stable, good home form, think Sparky will do well

11. Newcastle - Why not. Think our home form will be good enough to beat all the shit around us

12. Sunderland - Be level on par with us

13. West Ham - Few good signings, still think they will struggle though

14. Birmingham - Got lucky last season, still think they will be steady, might get found out a little. Need Zigic to come off

15. Blackburn - Cant think of words to describe these apart from shite. Home form might be enough to keep them up

16. Bolton - Same with Bolton, good signing in Petrov, scrappy side, scrappy results to keep them up

17. Wigan - You never know with Wigan, seem to be active in the transfer market, but still shite

18. Wolves - Cant see them repeating last year. Spent all their transfer money on Fletcher, why?

19. West Brom - Be pretty football as per, but not the quality to stay in this league

20. Blackpool -  Really out of their depth

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1 Chelsea-this is very tentative but i think they are slightly better than man u

2 man u: unless hernandes turns out to be brilliant still over reliant on rooney

3 Arsenal based on current squad but for the love of god wenger sign the gk cb and strong cm you need and stop being stubborn

4 Man city while there will be chaos i think they're still enough quality in the side to get top 4

5 Spurs Cl commitments will distract from league form as will ledley king being out every other game

6 Everton not quite good enough for cl without cash appearing from somewhere

7 Liverpool still no adequate torres backup

8 Fulham Hughes will do well imo

9 West Ham. provided the porn merchants dont start selling anything that isnt nailed down they'll be fine

10 Aston Villa really see a struggle this season

11 Bolton not sure on this, coyles commitment to football may cost them

12 blackburn, its a pity i can't forsee them going down

13 Sunderland other than bent who will score goals?

14 Newcastle, im cautiously optimistic

15 Wolves should be okay imo

16 birmigham, none of their signings thus far impress and dependant on bowyer and ferguson in the middle, 2nd season syndrome should hit them

17 stoke, this will likely look stupid but surely be to god this is the season they struggle

18 WBA valiant fight to the end but defence is too shit

19 Wigan their defence is shocking and they will never score enough goals to compensate

20 Blackpool hopefully they will be smart and use the prem money to invest in the club with some captial spending, but they're going down, hope holloway doesnt get blamed for it

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1 Chelsea (not great, but slightly better than man united)

2 Man United (poorest version for years, but hernandez is MINT)

3 Arsenal (pretty....pretty....letdown)

4 Man City (by hook or by crook, they'll force themselves in there)

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5 Liverpool (stop the rot)

6 Tottenham (that saggy faced twat really is a cuntstain, isnt he?)

7 Everton (lovely team and well run. with money they'd be brilliant)

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8 Aston Villa (big gap from 7th and here is their downward spiral)

9 Sunderland (building a good squad, they'll still obsess about us though)

10 Stoke (i actually think stoke will really struggle, but these were the last team i filled in. man, theres some shite in this league)

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11 Blackburn (same as stoke)

12 Fulham (unspectacular compared to the last 2 years, but they'll be steady)

13 Bolton (same as stoke)

14 Wigan (keep n'zogbia and they'll be fine)

15 West Ham (ultimately saved by the dross surrounding them)

16 Newcastle (it'll be minging, but we'll be alright)

17 Birmingham (severely overachieved last season and they really should be near the bottom)

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18 Wolves (barely scored last year and despite Fletcher, the same is true this time)

19 West Brom (same old, same old for the yo-yo)

20 Blackpool (weekly rapings, might scrape double figures if the stars align properly)

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1 Man Utd - glory for the gloryhunters, and will prove those who say it's a weak squad, wrong.

2 Chelsea - well I don't know. It's a tossup between these 2, yet again. Yawn.

3 Arsenal - passpasspasspasspasspassshitwelost

4 Everton - because I can. And we have the best squad in my lifetime and avoiding injuries, we can do great things this year.

5 City - ok so they'll probably finish 4th, but my optimism got the better of me, ok?

6 Liverpool - average defence, Masch probably off, and an over-reliance on Gerrard and Torres. I think Cole will do well, however.

7 Spurs - after committing paedophillia to get to the CL group stages, they'll lose points in games directly after group games and as such, will lose ground.

8 Villa - dependant on a) a decent managerial appointment and b) re-investing the Milner money wisely. They could finish lower.

9 West Ham - think Grant will do a good job.

10 Sunderland - entirely reliant on whether Bent fancies carrying them again.

11 Birmingham - another season of neck strain for the midfielders

12 Fulham - same old (perhaps top 10, Hughes is a canny manager)

13 Stoke - same old

14 Blackburn - another season of neck strain for the midfielders (same old)

15 Bolton - same old

16 Newcastle - just about safe

17 Wolves - won't make the forward steps their investment may suggest

18 Wigan - thank fuck

19 West Brom - what a shock

20 Blackpool - lol

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