Newcastle Fan Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 Money doesn’t buy you love. What it should buy you though is a decent footballer. If you spend it well. Newcastle United have been lucky enough to have a decent transfer budget over the years but have managed to spend it on a bigger bunch of flops than you’d see at a junior school diving lesson. And as Sam Allardyce is the latest manager to dive like Scrooge McDuck into the St James’ Park transfer kitty it might be worth us remembering some of the clowns, clods and cloggers that have disgraced the black and white shirt over the years. Jean Alain Boumsong Cost: £8 million from Glasgow Rangers Sold for: £3.25 million to Juventus (chumps) Bought by: Graeme Souness In a nutshell: Buying magic beans and trying to grow a centre back would have been a better idea. Where else could we start other than the legendary Boumsong. Despite forging an impressive reputation at Auxerre before moving to Glasgow Rangers, Boumsong established himself as possibly the worst defender to ever disgrace the Premiership. He quickly forged a partnership with Titus Bramble so inept that they became collectively known as the ‘Chuckle Brothers’ – an unfair comparison in many people’s eyes as Barry and Paul at least attempted to work together (to me, to you). With Boumsong shoring up the defence Newcastle went on to concede a hatful of pathetically weak goals and Shay Given spent every match looking like he was contemplating hanging himself from the crossbar. Marcelino Cost: £5 million from Real Mallorca Sold for: Released Bought by: Ruud Gullit In a nutshell: To use a bullfighting metaphor, he wasn’t the bull. Or the matador. He was the cape. How many times do you look at your £6million Spanish international defender and wish that Darren Peacock was still around? He barely played and when he did he was so uninterested it looked like he was taking a vertical siesta. And to endear himself further to his team-mates and fans he truly evoked the centre half spirit of a blood-soaked Terry Butcher when he said he couldn’t play because he had a poorly finger. He got a note from his mum and everything. Albert Luque Cost: £9.5 million from Deportivo La Coruna Sold for: He’s still there. Somewhere. Bought by: Graeme Souness (somebody take that man’s cheque book away) In a nutshell: Uncle Albert would have been a better buy. Albert Un-Luque has punctuated a largely injury prone spell with the Magpies with bouts of uninspiring and fairly effortless performances. While some eternal optimists still insisted he was getting used to the pace of the Premiership, the reality was he’d barely got used to his own legs. When he finally leaves he’ll be missed like a toenail in a sandwich. And that’s not even the half of it. Who can forget Didier Domi (£4m) flying in for a tackle - about thirty seconds after the ball and player had strolled past? Or Alessandro Pistone (£4.3m), billed as the new Paolo Maldini in the same sense that Richard Blackwood was the new Will Smith. And of course there’s Titus Bramble, bought for £4.5million as the brightest young defender in England and left five years later having inspired a new idiom for being miles away from where you’re actually needed – ‘Doing a Titus’. That’s it. I think I’ve got it all off my chest… …apart from Carl Cort (£7m) who Bobby Robson famously confused with Shola Ameobi and the rest of us confused with a giant land squid. And Hugo Viana (£8.5m) who would have made more impression on the pitch if he fell on it from the upper tier of the stands. Even the good signings haven’t really been that ‘good’. Dietmar Hamman (£5.25m) was good, but then he left after a year when he realised no-one else at the club was. Kieron Dyer’s (£6m) more fragile than my Gran. Scott Parker (£6.5m) got too cold and moved back to sunny London. Laurent Robert (£9.5m) was unreliable, unpredictable and wore horrendous grey underpants. Craig Bellamy (£6m) was great apart from the fact that he was universally despised for being an evil Welsh troll. Even Michael Owen (£17m) has only played about 15 minutes of football for the Magpies. So before you dip into your pocket and pay millions for a centre half with a glass eye or a winger without the ability to bend his knees take a long look, Sam, at this collection of transfer tragedies. As my old mum used to say, ‘you buy right, or you buy twice.’ Fair enough, she used it to justify why we bought Fairy Liquid rather than the 2 gallon budget washing up liquid my dad wanted, but I think the same principle applies here… Andy Boulton http://www.goal.com/en/Articolo.aspx?ContenutoId=333684 Hilariously sad... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 NUFC in 'wasted some money on shit players' shocker. Must be a fucking slow news day. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
nufcjmc Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 This is newcastle we buy the best to spoil their talents. We make players injury prone. We stuff players in goal fish bowls. We give players 20 seconds on the ball if bad then hated by least 30% of fans forever. I could go on... The media just loves a dig at us as its easy as Dave said must be a very slow news day..... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nyscooby Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 "We make players injury prone" Reserve matches on a rugby field cant really help out there!! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teasy Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 Dietmar Hamman, Kieron Dyer, Scott Parker, Laurent Robert, Craig Bellamy and Michael Owen are the best Newcastle buys this fucking clown can think of? Just shows what a clueless muppet Andy Boulton (who?) is... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Snrub Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 I think we should resign him for £8m, he had a great season in Serie B. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NE5 Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 Dietmar Hamman, Kieron Dyer, Scott Parker, Laurent Robert, Craig Bellamy and Michael Owen are the best Newcastle buys this fucking clown can think of? Just shows what a clueless muppet Andy Boulton (who?) is... as against Luque ? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teasy Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 What does "as against Luque" mean then? I said its ridiculous to list those players he mentions at the end in the "even there good signings weren't all that good" section of the article. As if that rabble are the best player Newcastle have signed.. how about the likes of: Alan Shearer, Peter Beardsley, Les Firdinand, Andy Cole, Robert Lee, Shay Given, Nolberto Solano, Philippe Albert, Gary Speed, David Batty, David Ginola, Keith Gillespie Just off the top of my head... Just shows the bloke is fucking clueless.. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NE5 Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 What does "as against Luque" mean then? I said its ridiculous to list those players he mentions at the end in the "even there good signings weren't all that good" section of the article. As if that rabble are the best player Newcastle have signed.. how about the likes of: Alan Shearer, Peter Beardsley, Les Firdinand, Andy Cole, Robert Lee, Shay Given, Nolberto Solano, Philippe Albert, Gary Speed, David Batty, David Ginola, Keith Gillespie Just off the top of my head... Just shows the bloke is fucking clueless.. haven't you been saying we should give the waste of space at least 1001 chances Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 What's that got to do with his point? Lost here. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teasy Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 Sorry have I walked into a different thread here? What on earth are you talking about NE5? What does anything you've said have to do with my post?... Where in this thread have I even mentioned Luque's name until right this moment? What the fucks happening? Are you mental? End of questions... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheshire Mag Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 Problem with that article is that the players mentioned were all proven in there respective league. Marcelino looked a class defender for Mallorca but didnt want to play for us. Same goes for Luque and Boumsong Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 Domi was probably the best left-back we've had in the Premiership tbh. Some of his attacking play and crossing was excellent, and was solid enough defensively too. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dansa Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 Why are people getting their back up about this artical? Newcastle United throw away money on failed signings like no other club in the world that I can think of. We are the mugs of World football ....every club must laugh when negotiating with NUFC. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest elbee909 Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 What does "as against Luque" mean then? I said its ridiculous to list those players he mentions at the end in the "even there good signings weren't all that good" section of the article. As if that rabble are the best player Newcastle have signed.. how about the likes of: Alan Shearer, Peter Beardsley, Les Firdinand, Andy Cole, Robert Lee, Shay Given, Nolberto Solano, Philippe Albert, Gary Speed, David Batty, David Ginola, Keith Gillespie Just off the top of my head... Just shows the bloke is fucking clueless.. haven't you been saying we should give the waste of space at least 1001 chances I'm sure not every thread has to be twisted into some other one. Unless you're referring to yourself Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LucasUnger Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teasy Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 Why are people getting their back up about this artical? Newcastle United throw away money on failed signings like no other club in the world that I can think of. We are the mugs of World football ....every club must laugh when negotiating with NUFC. Nobody has tried to argue about the wasted money theme of this article. Mainly because its utterly futile to argue about such a completely flimsy concept. "Why are people getting there backs up"? Because the article is full of complete bollocks and bias, if you can't see that then you haven't read it.. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 Domi was probably the best left-back we've had in the Premiership tbh. Some of his attacking play and crossing was excellent, and was solid enough defensively too. I'd rate Beresford and Elliott (in his 1st spell) higher tbh. Domi had a lot of talent though. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 Fair enough. Was just watching the Shearer DVD again a few days ago and reminded me how good Domi actually was. Made a fair few for Shearer. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon55544 Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 We sold Boumsong for £4.8m Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kev Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 I think we should resign him for £8m, he had a great season in Serie B. i hope thats a joke SERIA B .. micky mouse league matey Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sima Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 NE5 still delirious from the pnuemonia? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest samtoonarmy Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 I know Luque has not been a good signing what so ever. But I went to the training session at St. James' Park last summer and at the end they did a training match and some of the stuff Luque did was fantastic. He scored about 4 goals if I can remeber correctly and he did loads of tricks - what a shame he cant do that in a proper maths Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest samtoonarmy Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 For that last somment my was supposed to say matches instead of maths Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
merlin Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 Why are people getting their back up about this artical? Newcastle United throw away money on failed signings like no other club in the world that I can think of. We are the mugs of World football ....every club must laugh when negotiating with NUFC. Nobody has tried to argue about the wasted money theme of this article. Mainly because its utterly futile to argue about such a completely flimsy concept. "Why are people getting there backs up"? Because the article is full of complete bollocks and bias, if you can't see that then you haven't read it.. The article ISN'T bollocks at all - most of these players have been a complete waste of space, AND - much worse - an insult to the supporters with either their attitude or lack of talent. You have to question the reasons why some were signed in the first place - the phrase 'accommodating Agents' comes to mind.... The only really good player on the list is Hamann - and he WAS good ; problem was that he fell out with Gullit , and as the writer says, found out most of the others were'nt good(although when he left, he stated that 'the Board was average, so the club was average' - take your pick. Sorry, but 'shooting the messenger'doesn't cover up the shambolic way the club made sigmings in the past - hopefully, that is mostly behind us now.... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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