Aphrodite

Is that Plug from the Bash Street Kids in yellow?

Don Goodman

Martin Tyler is commentating tonight.

I can't imagine Joey Barton ever saying the word 'supped'. It just wouldn't sound right.

They use seperate cameras, match directors and commentator team for the 3D game, so expect lots of arty-slo mos.

I went to uni with him, he's actually 24, looks about half that though!

I loved that music 'Sponsored by Gilette razors' Been looking everywhere for it but no luck! http://www.tv-ark.org.uk/mivana/mediaplayer.php?id=5c5003f17cc21c4c9db8b59c1ccf8bd8&media=ch5football&type=mp4 Not sure it was as good as I remember it actually

I loved that music 'Sponsored by Gilette razors'

Would always be a van Damme or Schwarzeneger film as well.

Just remembered against Bnei Sahkin when their Zimbabwean goalkeeper with the first name Energy got sent off in the last few seconds in front of nearly no fans in the middle of a warzone. Didn't even seem like football, was just so random.

Watching the randomness and shit coverage of the Liverpool game made me for some reason nostalgic about our European nights on Channel five. Playing some godawful team in the middle of nowhere (Hapoel Bnei Sahkin?!) with John Barnes' terrible presenting and John Helm muddling his way through the commentary telling old man stories. I remember John Barnes losing his clothes and presenting in a T-shirt and the truly awful competitions. They used to do these terrible puns revolving around the film that was on afterwards as well- was all so amateur. Anyone got any memories?

First half: Taylor: 'Ref is looking a bit unsettled tonight' Commentator: 'Well, he is a millionaire, he has 6 million in his bank account' Just now: Taylor: 'Ref hasn't convinced me tonight, he's looked quite unsettled' Commentator: 'Well, he is a millionaire, he has 6 million in his bank account' I swear he's on a loop

Aye, must be intimidating for the opposition when they are risking their lives everytime they go for a corner Set us up the Magpie Mines! I remember when John Helm used to do it, that was the worst., he barely seemed to know what country he was in.

That Ronaldo fella is alright at it.. Learned that at Man U though! At holy s***, terrorist attack on the assistant! 'He's complaining about his ears!'

TV pictures have been shocking tonight- everyone time they show a replay they miss something else

How does that work exactly? Denied a goalscoring opportunity... By that logic every pen is also a sending off.. Not really. Fabregas had only the keeper to beat. Usually penalty situations are on the edge of the box or amongst a crowd of players.

If it was a pen it had to be a red card. Not sure it was a pen though.

"f*** you Newcastle-Online, and f*** you Pilkoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!" "Golden Glory, ladies and gentlemen." Unlike Newcastle fans, I can take losing gracefully. I suppose you get used to it when you support a nothing club. Yes: get used to it. It's going to be difficult, I don't plan on supporting any other team. This argument is cringeworthy- it's like watching Dale Winton trying to savage Alan Titchmarsh.

When did the burden of diving shift from players to refs? I'm sure 10 years ago a player would have been castigated for that sort of dive, but all the radio stuff I've heard has hammered Mike Dean for it.

1) It was a trumpet 2) Kenny D signed him f***ing hell interpol. I was wondering why he was playing to Bill Clinton.

I bet they actually come through to a 6 year old PAYG Nokia, too. The texts man, there's never any real opinions. It's ripe for parody. It's always like 'Paul from Preston has texted in and said "football is fun" keep them coming in.'

'He's given him a red card...he's been sent off... I can't believe he's sent him off...What was that even for?' 'He's still on the pitch- it was a yellow card' 'Oh yeah, I forgot, I'm colour blind'

At the whistle for the end of normal time at a Carling Cup game with Chelsea when the score was 1-1, the bloke in front of me gets up and goes 'Well earned point, see you all later'. He must have been a bit of a tit cos no-one bothered to correct him and he walked off oblivious! At the Fernebache game in the UEFA Cup a few years back a fan shouted at the Fernebache keeper 'Your mam smells of biscuits!'. Even after many years have passed I still don't really get that that one.

Champions League theme is sweet.

I'm intruiged now like.