To the tune of 'Lola' by the Kinks.
"I met him in a club down in old Bolton where they drink Champagne and it tastes just like cherry cola, C-O-L-A cola,
He walked up to me and he asked me to dance,
I asked him his name and in a dark Scouse voice he said Nolan N-O-L-A Nolan, no no no no Nolan.
Well im not the worlds most physical guy but when he squeezed me tight he nearly broke my spine oh my Nolan, K K Kevin Nolan...
Well we drank champagne and we ate all night,
under KFC's electric lights,
he picked me up and sat me on his knee,
and said little boy wont you come home with me?
Well im not the worlds most passionate guy but when I looked in his eyes well I almost fell for my Nolan K K Kevin Nolan,
Nolan no no no no Nolan
K K Kevin Nolan......"