David Icke - Son of God

Why are they there? for old useless divvys like me fatha who still can't grasp the simple task of putting a barcode under a scanner. Similar problems arise at the self-serve checkouts at the supermarket anarl. He's hopeless It's not just old farts who struggle. I once watched wor kid (who was hideously hungover to be fair) stand and try to scan his bank card for what must've been a good 30 seconds.

This shit. Supporting your team properly when they're getting hammered.

I don't hate him. In fact I'd actually quite like him to stay, however it's patently clear he's the weak link in our team and we should be either looking to replace him or buy a LB and move Santon to RB.

A pin point long ball. None of this Stoke "hoof it forward and we'll get it right eventually" shite, but a proper well thought out pass that lands plumb on the chest of the striker miles up field. Colo is a fucking master when it comes to this.

Or Williamson doing step overs against Chelsea

Yep. Someone goes down, you're not quite sure of the details but it looked a bit nasty, players indulge in a bit of argy bargy, ref blows on his whistle a few times to calm everyone down, he drags the offender away from everyone else and then there's a flash of red and he's trudging off the pitch. Only when they're for a member of the opposition obviously

When your keeper saves a penalty. Dejection to delirium in 30 seconds or less.

Fuck off

God forbid we, yer kna, have lives

This gigantic Robson will devour us all!

And it won't even be the first fucking time this season! We've scored some wonderful goals.

http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/218/735/i-came-ghostbuster.jpg

To be fair it must be hard to be a Mackem at the moment. Your more illustrious rivals go down in the most laughable fashion possible, the club an absolute mess from top to bottom with fans, players and management all at loggerheads only to bounce back in a spectacular manner a mere three years later. That feeling of utter dejection when you realise you were handed a golden opportunity to become the region's number one club, an opportunity to rub the noses of those "maggie barstewards!" in your success and you let it slip from your grasp must be horrific. I'd like to see Wearside's the suicide rate over the past few years. If there hasn't been a slight increase I'd be fucking gobsmacked.

I believe (though I may be wrong) that he didn't attend any/many matches at St James' Park following his sacking, for obvious reasons. However, once Ashley took over and the man/board who sacked him were gone, he was a regular at home matches again. I do remember seeing coverage of him at the SoL, but I doubt you could call him a 'regular'. Also, in the years after his sacking, he worked alongside Steve Staunton for the Republic of Ireland, so that may have been a big reason for him to visit the SoL, as well as other grounds. But, why should they let facts get in the way of some good old mackem Straw Clutching, and history re-writing, eh??!! He attended loads, quite a few alongside Fat Fred bizarrely enough.

Geremi.

Good. I was 99.9 per cent sure that was the case

This is almost certainly a daft question, but am I right in thinking that those who signed up to the ten year deal last season get their tickets automatically renewed?

I found the thread about Ched Evans' conviction hilarious and disturbing in equal measure. The number of people who blamed the lass

http://i46.tinypic.com/14lof95.png If only I was as suave as Pards. If fucking only.

Token gesture there. How fucking mealy-mouthed do you want to get

I don't see the point in worrying about it. It's out of our hands, lets just do what we need to and hope the Gods are smiling on us.

I don't think we will finish fourth, however if we do and Chelsea win I may just off myself

On the plus side they're going to struggle to put a side out for the final

I've not heard a good air horn at the football ever. Plastic club.

I'd avoid Nike like the plague after the absolute clusterfuck at Villa.