BlueStar

I imagine most of us learned how to do these things because we had to. If at 16 I'd been told I could play football for the rest of my life and never had to do things like fix my own computer or paint a fence then I imagine I'd be as clueless about everything as I was at 16 now. They're basically stuck in perpetual childhood like some charva Michael Jackson.

so what happened to them? They changed name. New York Red Bulls FC Red Bull Salzburg so... Sports Direct Football Club (SDFC) That Red Bulls shit still kills me. Henry in a Metrostars jersey would have been outstanding. Would there actually be anything stopping him if he wanted to rename us Sports Direct United and change our colours to red and blue? Any English or Premier League regulations?

Let's hope no-one tells Ashley what happened to the New York MetroStars and SV Salzburg and gives him any ideas...

I must have the chart upside down, thought Freddie got us all this debt and Ashley had been reducing it.

I found the short lived chants of "Sports Direct is fucking shit" quite pleasing last season.

"Judge me on September the 1st"

Could we injure some players like Loven and Ranger and ask if we can make an emergency loan?

You folk who feel they've been unfairly labelled as Ashley apologists - just as a benchmark, what could Mike do which would make you say "OK, that's completely unforgivable" and join the 'mob'? Sell Tiote and colo without replacing them? Sell off SJP? Change the name of the Milburn stand? Get us relegated again? Or is there literally nothing he could do where you wouldn't feel the need to speak up on his behalf when people slag him off?

I bet the scousers are in tears, "Oh no, we're trying to win things! We've bought another player! The balance sheeeeeetttt!" I'll certainly be gloating in the stands when Suarez scores against us, waving my little calculator and singing songs about how I have reservations over if their champions league Tv money will adequately cover their wages. Can't wait to see their faces.

No, it puts us in the position where we couldn't get him over the line when it was a punt on a player under the radar and we've got absolutely zero chance now that he's had a storming start to the season, he has more options and his club are more keen to hold on to him, a terrible position with player recruitment.

Gonna have to have a big season for us.

I could accept being run by either A) Some money spunking rich arsehole or B) A frugal decent chap. But being run by a tight-arse incompetent just doesn't do it for me. I often verge on wishing Ashley would take his entire loan back, fuck off, leave us in financial meltdown, accept which division that would leave us in and at least be able to have some pride in the way the club is run, rather than treading water in the premier league with Mike and Dekka and having to listen to the constant whine of their cheerleaders when people aren't happy with what they serve up.

Can anyone be bothered to count how many transfer windows in a row we've gone into desperately needing a striker? Is it just that players in that position don't fall into the category of "cheap gamble, might be worth more next season"? Pathetic. How many minutes will Ranger and Lovenkrands rack up between them this season, any estimates?

I'm off to a pub quiz the night, so checking my phone will be verboten. Look forward to just finding out who we've got or not without having to go through all the bollocks.

David Craig in Mackemland, talking about reports of Gyan transfer request. "Highly placed SSN sources" say it's 'catagorically untrue'.

Will they start spelling his name G¥an, like they did with B£nt?

clutching at tubular drinking utensils now. BBC Feed Pete via text: "Just seen Daniel Sturridge at Melwood." Players teleport all over the shop like Jason Vorhees on transfer window day... Pete via text: "Just seen Daniel Sturridge at Melwood."

You know how you hear of "Sick Building Syndrome"? I reckon Sunderland suffers from Sick Town Syndrome. Simply being there drains your health and energy.

Could be OK back-up for about £6m.

Fuck, he might twist his ankle or bruise his arse!

Makes sense. Bruce's current delusion is that they get enough chances to win every game 10-0, so it's a worthy investment to get someone 7 foot tall who can just stick a head or gangly leg on to all these chances.

Nile ranger Feeling for a nandos.... Need to get myself a nandos blackcard.. In there too much He loves chicken does Nile.

It's OK, just don a suit and turn up looking like a respectable individual who's remorseful for what he's done. http://images.icnetwork.co.uk/upl/nechronical/dec2009/6/4/nile-ranger-282014547.jpg Oh, wait.

Make any changes you want. Click 'make transfers'. on the screen where it says "This will cost you xxx amount of points" click "Use Wildcard" underneath then confirm them. you can then make s many transfers in and out as you want until the next deadline without points coming off.

If I could shave 0.3 off somewhere I could have Adam instead of Downing... Very reliant on Man U and Man City, but then they have just utterly dicked two top 5 teams...