BottledDog

Not sure what I'm basing this on, but I thought we had gone the other way in the post-Wise/Vetere/Keegan disaster. Got a fair memory of a Llambias article where he was laying into agents and wanted to remove them from the equation as much as possible. Could have been the LSD talking mind.

If we get Anita I think Guti will be eased out of the team. See him being a sub by the end of the season. Expensive sub considering we gave him a spanking new contract that'll see him through to retirement. If we get three new players I'll be surprised tbh, If nobody leaves I expect one or two decent signings now the last round of youth players have a bit of a make or break season coming up.

Hoilett all day long, in that scenario. Course you would. You'll be trousering the spare £12 million.

Carroll. Can't put a price on a local lad (right Dave!).

Dembele is the one i'd go after tbh, can play wide, upfront or in the middle and only got a year left on his contract. Already committed to stay this year hasn't he? And not sure I can see him leaving London if/when he does finally make a move tbh.

spill the baked beans man Nowt earth shattering. Just perusing his twitter and he's still really positive. Shuttleworth - "Really hope Debuchy signs for ‪#nufc‬. Starting to feel like he's slipping" Douglas - "Won't happen. Pretty sure he'll join ‪#nufc‬. Wouldn't take any of these 'AGENT ITK' accounts seriously. Complete whoppers."

Mark 'the textual masseur' Douglas has just soothed out the folds in my brow on this one. He's coming!

'Stop laughing! Stop having fun! Stop enjoying yourselves!' Yeah, pretty much.

Pretty standard for the Google translations best guestimate engine. Other options it offers are Drogba and Fabregas.

We have the best squad we have had in many, many, many years. Quit yer whinin'.

Delighted for the lad. Always good to see a young fellow fulfill his dreams.

Awesome.

Check the false smiles on NUFCTV. No doubt dreampt of Olympic glory as a young pup, sitting by the Arga in his mams kitchen down down-town Dakar. He wants out and the way we are run, who could blame him. It's why we are after Carroll.

Yup, need to sort that contract out asap.

Despite a goal from (the 'soon to be departing') Ba, after one and a half pre-season games it is now all too clear we are hovering dangerously between an 8 and a 9.

That does indeed sound like quite a bamboozling situation you have found yourself in. Hope it all works out in the end.

Er... Why?

I tell you what's really sickening - your use of the apostrophe. Nah, I'm not that bothered really. You may not be, but I fuggin' am. Apologies all round folks.

Sickening that our ground is being littered with logo's from the crooks and spivs at the IOC. Sports Direct are a far less offensive brand.

Nah he's not a bad player, he's just not a good player. Nah he's a good player, capable of being a great player. /Beyond the bonus hilarity, I'd be very happy to see him return. A beast on his day.

Pardew? Aye.

Pardew saying the standard of the opposition in our next 2 games comes a little too early into our pre-season, and there is every likelihood we will get royally bummed.

"People talk, but what I can say is that none of the teams that have been talked about have approached me. I’m still a Newcastle United player." ...for now. Sounds lika a come and get me plea.

If anyone needs my place on the Stream to catch all the latest sausage action.... I'm switching it off....... NOW!

It is the spikes that bring the gravitas, the will and the edge that holds the whole ensemble together. Without them, the shirt (and ultimately, the team) would simply fall apart. I like 'em!