James

Has there ever been a goal scored where two players kicked the ball in the same direction at the same time? If so, who got the goal? Maybe Sammy and Shola could do this.

I would be tempted to start Gosling for this one as he is one who has in the past performed well in derby matches. Krul Simpson Williamson Coloccini Taylor Tiote Gosling Barton Cabaye Jonas Ba Obertan, Shola and Marveaux to cause late damage. 11-0 Newcastle.

He has won a few golden scarabs in his career.

We are run by Llambias though a gambling man going all in and then seeing what he gets. I can see him waiting ages by the phone to make the important phone calls but not actually doing so until 15 mins before the transfer window when he panics and goes for someone completely random.

This transfer window is cursed.

If it doesn't work out will he go back home crying to mummy?

After Graham Carr's failure in France, Pardew sends Indiana Jones to Egypt to dig up a striker.

Beautiful. Now watch the meltdown.

Me neither but then again I am hardly on here.

We messed up swooning over Erdinc for too long when it became obvious he didn't want us an wasn't the right man.

So we hire a third choice keeper who just happens to be mates with the GK coach. The GK coach has also brought his son into the youth team. The goalkeeper coach was appointed in place of the outstanding Paul Barron because he is a mate of Alan Pardew. Alan Pardew was appointed by his casino mate Derek Llambias. Derek Llambias was appointed by his casino mate Mike Ashley. Acceptable or not?

Sounds like Hilario to be honest. if nepotism for third choice keepers is good enough for Chelsea is it good enough for us?

If I played for Newcastle I would never be more than 30 yards from the opponents goal.

We have bid 887m Yen

Dollars, so exactly the same. Has the plane landed yet?

Where is this from? BBC, but it was a joke.

A lot of the time in a match he does good stuff, but too often he is doing things he shouldn't be doing, ending up out of position, creating spaces behind our defence, causing Colo the be dragged out somewhere, creating another space and so on. Like on Saturday he was trying to show that he was a ball playing defender just like Colo, and then nearly cost us. Give me Mike "Average but never does anything stupid" Williamson any day.

I see the bid is now $11.5m

More a left sided attacker.

Nut, is more than French press, there are quotes from Maiga saying he wants to sign.

Needs a thread title change already, make Dave fall off his chair when he logs in.

We want him, he wants to come.

Pardew told the BBC he ended up playing more defensively than planned and he'll be expected to get forward more in other games.

We would have won a trophy if Dyer stayed fit. Possibly the league.