James

The chance to be pointed at by Steven Taylor.

He wanted the FA cup named after him!

Shola Amadoggie

Jonas GoodDoggie

If he has had a certain amount of time on his contract (usually 2-3 years), he has 14 days (I think) from the end of the season to tell Lorient of his intention to terminate their contract. FIFA can then decide the transfer fee when he signs elsewhere.

Good close control, good passing and vison, shit taste in music.

Well done club transfer team. We've clearly got the man we wanted. Now its just a case of did the people who suggested we sign him make the right call?

Redknapp and Dalglish just ran onto the pitch.

There will be at least two in half our games I reckon unless Barton really does leave, and people are very mistaken to think that it could or should be any different. Nolan will be starting every game when fit as our club captain.

If we resort to CCTV screencaps it is going to be hilarious.

Hopefully Chris Samba

Of course, could be anyone if true, but the fact of the French fixtures does make a lot of players eliminated particularly those guessed at so far.

Would love to see Ashley sue the Express for £800m then use it to buy Messi, Xavi, Iniesta.

Midweek, yes. Day before a game, unlikely.

Is good that he speaks English anyway as should help him settle in well. Might also be useful if we sign any other French teenagers that don't speak a word.

A French league player won't be in a shop in Newcastle as they still have a game to play over there.

Unless he is too young or from an obscure league.

Cabaye hasn't invoked the Webster clause has he?

Thought he was first choice at Stoke? If he's going on a free we should be trying to get him back.

Past experience stops me getting excited at any signing considering the number of amazing players that have flopped, and underestimated players who go on to do well here.

think Alpal accidentally clicked on www.youtube.com/ignaciogonzalez

Bit too lighweight, a bit too foreign. I suspect a lot of people we bring in will start from the bench at first and will be tasked with dislodging the current lot.

Sounds like a similar player to Barton actually. On the fringes of the France squad.

Hands off, Pardew. I get the impression that you are the kind of kid that shouts at his mum and dad if they put the baked beans on the wrong side of your plate.

Is that you Alan?