Keefaz

Not working, so I'm actually gonna see a game! I hope it lives up to expectations. Villa's my player of the tournament. Absolutely lush.

It was obvious Germany would batter all, and I told all you chumps beforehand. It's Germany, man. God knows how they do it, but they almost always do.

Actually, I tell a lie. My dad's biggest football pet hate is when team play it around their back four. Drives him mental.

My dad's biggest football pet hate is quick free kicks. No idea why. He reckons they should all be played to the whistle.

It's not, like. Genuinely looks like it was going to hit him in the face before it went over the line.

Having just seen it, it looks like he could've easily headed it. Looks like it might have just hit him in the face regardless.

Missing all the QFs because of work. "Get a job", they said. Now look what you've done. Tossers.

Let's just do it now.

Germans want to win, like. I played 7-a-side in Germany most weekends and they were nuts.

Or Terry nicked one of Stevie G's jokes and passed it off as his own and now Gerrard hates him for it?

Is the true story that Terry and Gerrard are actually gay lovers?

Is Lovenkrands having some kind of breakdown?

Gary Neville now? Or back when he actually played more than 5 times a season? Just pointing out the difference between an international class defender and a very raw player.

My dad is a Liverpool fan, in a way. Although he's B&W through and through, he can't bear to watch them play. He's like a battered wife and NUFC is the husband. Or a battered sister and NUFC is Callum Davenport. Liverpool is his way of 'supporting' a team without getting too involved.

We know, man. Honestly, it's alright. The basic design is bearable but the way they've opted to stick on the crest and sponsor is utter shite. The goalie top is absolutely fucking ludicrous, though.

I once bought a loaf of bread in a Pakistani supermarket. Lost my house.

Glen Johnson : international full-back. You're having a fucking giraffe aren't you? Honestly think if Gary Neville had been playing we wouldn't have been humped anywhere near as badly.

The pakistani-owned supermarkets are supercheap and open late hours. These crazy Spaniards with their different customs.

It's good, like. Fuckers.

Are Peterborough sponsoring themselves?

Don't. Horrible Horrible Club. This is what I'd have thought. Mingers.

Someone did try on an escalator coming out of one of the Metro stations, fucker just about had his hand in my pocket and I hadn't noticed but my mate behind me had and gave him a clip. Fair enough. I had a rucksack nicked in the train station. It was quite a clever ruse in that they distracted me by one of them going to the bin next to me and pretending to vomit in the most horrific manner I've ever heard.

His sister said he headbutted her six time and bit her, standard family squabble imo.

If you haven't had anything stolen in Barcelona you haven't been to Barcelona.