Keefaz

When did Mark Lamarr start writing your material, GM?

Aye, appointing Redknapp would all make it seem very clique-y at the top. Regardless of whether or not Ashley's had a pint with the fans. Appointing his best mate's best mate? couldnt give a rats ass if he appoints his mam to be honest, as long as she gets the right results True, like. Mike Ashley's mam would get my full backing.

Thats just a Portsmouth tradition. Something almost Ridz-esque about this.

Very good, Wullsten.

Christian Bale: the thinking man's choice.

You'd think so, wouldn't you? I concur. The logical side of me is winning out, like it always did for Spock. There's no way he's coming here. He's practically retired down there already. He'd have a heart attack as soon as he hit Scotch Corner.

I've no idea why anyone would want Klinsmann.

I wanna hear Adams do those creepy whispery interviews he does.

I thought he was dead?

By letting non-Newcastle fans vote. Oh. Well, that'd make sense.

Past it. Gary Oldman, ftw.

Fantastic. How can McClaren or O'Leary even be in the frame?

He's got that ITK aura. Can't you feel it? Nailed on now.

Who? Just imagined a scene where Mort's unveiling the new boss at a press call: Mort: We've been very lucky to get him and he's the man to take us forward. The number one choice! That's right, it's the one you've all been waiting for, the Special One, Jose Morunho. Fat, balding Portuguese fella walks in and stands looking totally bemused. The press are in shock. Alan Oliver: Who the fuck is that? Mort: It's Morunho! Are you socks blown off, yet?

Maybe to advise the board on what type of manager the fans'll want? FWIW, that's my guess.

Do you ever listen to (the now discontinued) Danny Baker and Danny Kelly podcasts? They did one about two months ago where DB started it with a fucking brilliant impression of Martin Jol. Aye, I caught a few. Didn't hear that one, though.

I like his funny voice.

Aye, and the rest.

In what way?

Bolton, Beye, Biverpool, Barton, Bye bye.

A gift? Fair enough.

I would imagine that if the new man is installed before the Cup match, we'll manage to at least flog a few more tickets. That's probably why Allardyce was sacked come to think of it.

I'm pretty sure Keegan is on Tyneside. I have my suspicions it's for reasons different to those put forward so far... *intrigue*

Went round my mam's for tea. She said, 'Do you think it might be Malcolm MacDonald?' She's got the nod from someone, I tell you. Nailed on. You read it here first. Etc.

Sideways, but with a slight shimmy.