Sima

Michael Owen looks like a fat Jason Manford.

Sturridge Not doing your wanky dance now, are you?

De Gea confirmed.

Strange atmosphere, no fucker there. Everyone go home.

What a fucking King.

What's going on here, man.

I don't know about street parties but I'll be more than happy with 12th for now. By the way Newcastle's finishing positions over the last 10 years aren't anything to shout about either, especially as there are two relegations in there. Yes your expectations may be higher than ours because you have a better PL history, but I wouldn't raise them too high if the last decade is anything to go by. Saying this with a straight face like we haven't had some total dickwad sabotaging the club.

What a total daft cunt.

Actually got a rash on my neck because of that one. . Pretty sure that the badge rip off your nipple as well. Aye, horrendous nipple chafeage from every inch of that abomination.

I like Lovenkrands, seems to still have a soft spot for us as well. He's in my top 10 easily during the Ashley dynasty.

This cunt left yet?

Stifler, man.

What a time to be alive.

Get that man a drink.

Pellegrini man...

I think he's away like.

Fuck this.

Another that will be away.

Whitey at this.

Best Sissoko's played since his debut

Ben Arfa would have buried that.

Fucking hell. Great work by the security staff.

That's disgusting. No defence for that. Sickening.

Janmaat's positioning is awful.