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Such a classy player. Totally unfussed.

No. Not in the slightest. Genuinely surprised you'd think that.

I think we should actually go ahead and do it. Hammer a stake in the ground and literally chain him to it like a mad dog to pull against. It'll go viral as fuck, improve our marketing and show up the new rule as being ridiculous all in one go.

There has to be a middle ground though. An extra 6 vague sentences with accompanying archive footage would've done the trick. Milburn lifting cups, Keegan and 12 points, Asprilla and Barcelona, Bobby Robson's international respect, 5th biggest turnover in the world 20-odd years ago, times change, 10 managers and 2 relegations. Job done. I would think that's surely more captivating, and explanatory of the jeopardy and opportunity, to a complete outsider.

Watched it. It's alright... Trying to think from a non Newcastle perspective, but I'd say it's lacking on history - to explain roughly what the club is. Realise they probably can't slag off Mike Ashley for legal reasons, but a bit about former heights like the Keegan days, the 1950s and our support's reputation wouldn't have gone amiss. To set the scene. Also, I feel it hasn't captured the magnitude of what's taken place on the pitch, and Eddie's achievements here and previously (the comments about him relegating Bournemouth, without even a sentence of context, felt like Steve Bruce had written the script and stuck in my throat). Why would the club put any faith in such a character? Well, he's learned what not to do... Realise that's meant to be a little joke, but to a total outsider who has no clue - if that's who it's for - it just sounds stupid. To be honest, the thing feels like it's been produced for an audience of one particular Prince.

Yes, as I recall, Jamie Reuben was talking about switching seats to keep one of their directors away from Amanda Staveley. Supposedly the guy was nice as pie at the next match though. That said, I got the picture this latest story is about another club.

Amanda sounded surprisingly - and relatively pleasingly - subservient over it, in fact. Still weird to have owners actively working to support the football people in their efforts.

Makes us look like muppets, but then again we're singing about Moretti and spaghetti so I can't really complain...

Think it'll come in time. I imagine he'll be a different kind player in three or four years.

Can't believe we're selling Callum Wilson. What's this club playing at.

There are no rules that will fix time wasting and associated phenomena. They can only really shift the incentives around for who, how and when it's done. It's a cultural problem which, given the money and glory given to those who succeed with a win at all costs mentality, isn't likely to get fixed any time soon. Once, faking injuries was seen as shameful and humiliating. Now it's treated as smart game management. As long as that's the case, it's here to stay.

Shearer-style trapping the ball in the corner will become a major facet of the game. Progressing the ball up the pitch in as few seconds as possible via tightly organised sequences of throw ins will be raised up to an art form. As a spectator the game will be far slower and more boring, even if 'officially' the minutes spent out of play won't have happened.

Put this through a translator and got: "Trossard is maturing and offering more than just fancy tricks and finishing. He can drop back into midfield and battle for the team too; it's not his normal stomping ground, but once he's got the ball, he doesn't give it up easily".

We've needed a good Demba Ba replacement.

Who's writing that? Willock?

My point is someone will be. Agreed we have options now, and we need them too if we want to compete on multiple fronts. But we're also not the finished article - and if we're gonna want to bring in one or two even better players over the next twelve months, I don't think there's any way we could do that and still carry all the candidates we have now. It wouldn't be right by the players among other things. Maybe Anderson gets sold and Miley proves to have just been on a freakish hot streak and the question goes away, but neither is looking very likely just at the moment.

Feel very bad for the lad if it's serious, but fucking funny with regards Southampton's position.

So are just about every midfielder we've got though... Unless we're not planning any signings in this area for the next two or three seasons, we're going to get very over stocked...

He's definitely got finishing in his locker, his technique is sweet. But he should have been in double figures last season and was nowhere near. We would've been battling Arsenal if he and Longstaff had put away the goals they should've.

In response to @James: Yeah, that's my thinking also, although I find it harsh to categorise him alongside ASM. For all his qualities, ASM never really felt like he fitted into our new ways, whereas Willock largely does. We're now at the stage of picking favourites between demonstrably good players, in this part of the pitch. Am I correct that FFP - crazily enough - incentivises us to sell Anderson or Miley over Willock?

Yep, as I say, that's the career changer for him. Think it could be the difference between finishing at West Ham and winning the Champion's League.

But we're never the same without unsung hero Longstaff right? Never been so spoilt for choice

Been a big boost for him definitely. Key thing for Willock is to sort out his goalscoring. That's a career changer for him if he does it. But who the hell makes way then? Seems like someone's nose is going to be put out of joint/development is going to be hindered somewhere or other.

Suddenly seems like we're getting flooded with midfielders now, with Miley, Anderson and Gordon coming along nicely, in addition to the arrival of Tonali and Barnes. Plus the likes of Bruno, Joelinton, Longstaff, Willock and even more. It seems likely someone will be the odd man out at some stage over the next 12 months, especially if we're intending on making any further upgrades here in that time. It won't be an easy one as they're all likeable. Who do we imagine it'll be? As you'll guess from my thread bump, I'll predict Willock, partly for off the field reasons e.g. Longstaff being more heartbroken to leave the area than Willock would be. It should be a fascinating contest to watch though with everyone hopefully pushing eachother to new heights.

Silly cunt probably did do it thinking Howe would take us down and show he was right all along.