Beren

As good as an impact as Sissoko when he arrived

Which centre-back fears him in this league? Or know they've been in a game after being asked to mark him? One instance today he picked the ball up on the edge of the centre circle with only a defender ahead of him and he tried to drive at him. So easy for the defender. Even on his best day he had about as much of a chance as scoring there as Danny Simpson would.

What now?

Up to 2nd behind TT

What's the deal with his deal? Is there an option to buy etc?

Little bit Sounds like you're going to have a class week tbf Branko My defence have been shocking lately no idea how I am (or was!) third with that shower. Need Vertonghen, Oscar and Michu to layeth the Smackdown for me.

3 bonus points for Sturridge, 0 for captain Suarez Oh well. Lukaku didn't get shit either. Well, at least they all scored I suppose. Gonna drop down the rankings this week I reckon.

Yeah, I actually thought they paid you the compliment of treating you like a non-European "big" team/Newcastle - so they were really at the races. They just had more quality sadly for you. You didn't play badly, they just tend to paste sides when they play good.

Good win, iffy performance as usual. Didn't want Pardew chopped before our horrific fixtures.

Crisp packet hands from Howard

Pen IMO

Yaya needs to be stopped. Or I need to get him. One or the other.

Are you saying it wasn't? We were an inch away from 3-3 at a ground where they hadn't conceded a goal in ten hours. It wasn't. Everton basically went to sleep for 55 mins after the 3rd goal, as has been noted by the Everton fans on here. Right Oh. What a daftie.

Is the issue not that we have so few points given the quality of opposition we've played? It's quite funny to hear Pardew talking about "judge us after 10 games". At the end of the 10 games, I bet he'll wish he'd been judged now instead because our goal difference will be negative double digits, our win % will be lower and the loss % will be higher!

He's sounding pleasantly desperate, can't even cobble up a coherent excuse there.

Swansea are so good to watch

Liege 1-1

Taking shit European refereeing to parody levels, now.

"Here now, Mike, listen here... you see that blurry one just standing there with the two identical guys either side of him mimicking his every action, with that blue streak running by him? That's Debuffy"

I have to remember to ban Leffe when we play spurs so he doesn't break out the old ROFLcopter on our sorry asses.

Liege, Sevilla, Swansea -1 trixie

Disconnected his phone line. Gutted for him, still shocked Karl Henry et al didn't win him his bet on their lonesome. Freakish.