HawK

Well as one's horse faeces and the other is a striker who thinks he has the ball skills of Lionel Messi...

Payet shooting from his own half would have a 100% goal rate tbh.

Get Carroll on to dominate their keeper and give us some presence up front imo

Players fear the drubbing from Shearer if they don't perform

Oh well.

Looks like he's lost some weight, in the worrying way tbh.

1-1, England on pens for the first time since 1996.

I'm commenting on the comic you delicate little flowers

You know where the avatars come from right?

? Read Squires' comment at the end

So much Guardian-esque leftie bitterness

Actually think Carr is the very least of the problems we have. The 5-1 showed what 'his' players can do with the right motivation (i.e. management). I think for a head scout he's actually done pretty well, all clubs have signings that flop and more often not we've done well, with obvious exceptions like Cabella (who we only signed because Kinnear undersold Cabaye) and Thauvin.

All the Albanian girls look like they could be the Bella Twins.

Depends if the goals are above expectations I guess. Without any stats to hand, outside the top 4 or 5 times teams in the PL at least, I'm struggling to think of many clubs' POTS that were defenders other than John Terry or maybe Vidic? Hopefully someone else has the exact numbers but I would be looking for Lascelles to get POTS if we didn't get promoted :/

Defenders usually only get POTS when the attackers haven't scored many.

I think Milner could offer a lot more to this team than most will want to admit, because he's James Milner.

https://www.theguardian.com/football/picture/2016/jun/21/david-squires-cartoon-euro-2016-group-matches

Best shins in the league.

The IQ of our team is astonishing, when Slovakia committed 5 or 6 to that last attack, we knocked it about like we had all the time in the world. Literally one of the handfuls of times we had a chance at a decent counter using our pace.

As opposed to

We're set up for pace and counter against a team that puts 11 behind the ball. We need unlockers on rather than speed merchants, Barkley etc.

Peter Crouch with his best Woy impwession.

Been saying since game one we need Milner in the first 11, somewhere, for set plays.

My lass thinks he's too short.

No idea why Studge is drifting all over like some kind of Ronaldo. Get Alli on for that role at least he can make a fist of it.