DJ_NUFC

Just occured to me that the one person who hates Pardew more than any of us is Graham Carr. Oh man, can you just imagine the atmosphere in his house, as he throws darts at a mural of the King in his living room.

So is my nan. How long's left on her contract, and does she speak French? I'm sure she could do a decent job at left-back.

So is my nan.

This is brilliant. Thanks for this. I remember actually saving one of his first 'expose' articles about corruption in FIFA by copying and pasting it in a Word doc, it blew my mind that much. I'm sure I still have it saved somewhere. Good to see he's kept on pulling the thread to the point where it's unraveled to show the gordo cats underneath, claws sharpened.

Vetere and Jimenez, man. A who's who of who-the-fuck. Did those two work at the top level in football again? Or before?

That. Is absolutely. Brilliant. Sucks for me that I cut the cord of my cable service right when he got his own show, so now I have to physically make the effort to seek it out. Got lots to catch up on.

"He's a great passer, versatile and rarely gives the ball away. He's also a local lad and knows exactly what playing for this Club means." AP. So not only a Cabaye replacement, but HBA replacement as well: two in one!

You genuinely could not make it up if you tried. Sepp Blatter is either an evil genius or a front for one. This is their "war room". It actually is. How can they not be an evil organization? http://www.transparencyinsport.org/Blatter_takes_off_his_tie/Images-blatter_takes_off_tie-page1/Images-full-size/2-sepp-blatter-tie-less-wide-shot%28full-size%29.jpg I'm confused. The set for Stanley Kubrick's masterpiece is now being used by fucking FIFA?!

I wonder if the people who willfully forget HBA completely ripping them a new asshole single-handedly have been Pardewed just like all our players.

Why isn't he at left-wing, looking the other way?

Somebody once went to high school with Adolf Hitler, too, and must've thought he was a sound lad. /falseequivalencies

I thought Keegan was only interested in Becks and Henry for $50m a piece?

Just saw it. Yeah, pretty poor.

What fucking pressure? None of our players have any pressure to perform... ... wait... sarcasm. Never mind. I'm so edgy to just snap at someone after hearing this news Just console yourself until you see the King sitting next to Ginge at the press conference, waxing lyrical about how he's watched JC (as he'll call him) over the years.......marvellous stuff. I want to cry. I can't wait for the nickname and soundbites about him, though, from the King. My life has suddenly felt lighter every weekend as I haven't read any of his post-match comments since the season ended. I truly hope he's a pundit for the World Cup so I can resume being angry all the fucking time.

This keeps playing in my head each time I think about Pardew leading our transfer effort this summer: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-VxQemMnVr4o/UwTOFu6BXlI/AAAAAAAACxs/ueS7CWd196w/s1600/british-eyes-only-thebluths-2.gif

What fucking pressure? None of our players have any pressure to perform... ... wait... sarcasm. Never mind. I'm so edgy to just snap at someone after hearing this news

In the words of a certain national socialist party that made a name for itself in the 1930s and 1940s: "Not. Welcome."

Just about the most pathetic thing I've ever read on here. Well done. Nah, think of Wullie as our in-house cavern-dwelling gypsy, lobbing curses at those who have wronged the club. Previous evidence shows he's not only been right but right-eous. It's about the only superpower we have over the cunts connected with our club.

A Dyer-esque curse right there.

Versatile, you say? Can play anywhere, you say? Colbinho, make your entrance. Surely our CB cover once Mbiwa goes, as well.

Don't remember Shearer heading over to Instagram with a shit American 'striker' and giving us 0-3 hand signals either.

Nicky Butt.

Decent enough if he's Gosling's replacement. Horrible if he's Cabaye's replacement. I'd rather see Abeid or biggie come in as Goslings replacement rather than Colback. Oh well another passenger to add to the bus load we currently have This is what people don't seem to understand. We HAVE HAD players who were already showing more than Dan fucking Gosling but we still chose to stunt their development and play Gosling who offered FUCK ALL in return, while his foot was half out the door. Unreal how people can say he's Gosling's 'replacement.' It's another nail in our nail-filled youth-team coffin.

B o l l o c k s.

If I simply recall off the top of my head the times I've seen Colback do something like that vs. the amount of times HBA, Marv et al, the kind of players he'll be replacing, have done something to create a goal, Colback comes across as a lower-league bog-standard clogger. And that's just using stats from memory. Let alone his actual stats for Sunderland, which read like Shola Ameobi's. Get to fuck. Nothing personal, but fuck this guy.