Mowen

This is my hope. I wonder if Fergie will make the same mistake as last time and try to play football against Barca. Did they try and play football last time? I remember then going out in the hoping of nicking a goal, but as soon as Eto'o scored early on, their game plan was screwed. Indeed. Eto'o even had time to shoot up after scoring as I remember.

You might need to have a word with your calculator.

We thumped them before they beat Chelsea. i know, i just typed out the text that i got sent earlier. You should text back and tell them they're wrong then.

Simon Esland's a legend.

The beans; spill them. Haha, it was more me being a twat than him tbf. I hadn't received some vouchers or something ridiculous that I was entitled to as a member (since September) by April in our relegation season. On a half day at the pub when I was whinging about it I was egged on to complain and, despite him promising me a refund at one point, asked him why he was "such a twat" paxman style about 5 times in a row until he hung up. If anything I probably have more respect for him since that day. Edit: in hindsight I'm deffo a bigger twat than him

Simon Esland is a right wanker. Had a barney with him over the phone before over something particularly insignificant, he's clearly a twat though.

That'll be Shearer's volley. Although what stays with me from that match was Bellamy's fluke goal for the winner, didn't it take 2 massive deflections? May have completely exaggerated that mind/made it up. Think it went down as a Li Tie own goal in the end. Absolutely wild. I feel sorry for the family who were to the right of me who left after 81 minutes declaring the game "shit. we're not coming back for a while".

You just love the Sho so much you can't stop typing his name. Interesting how that point seems to apply to both of the mercurial feckers though.

I remember Shola at Chelsea and I know he crosses the ball fairly well at times (Birmingham away was a case in point) but I'm still genuinely surprised and impressed every time he manages to get the ball off the ground and with pace on. He'd have to become ludicrously good before I'm able to let go of this stereotype of him unfortunately, it's just too deeply ingrained now Shola's fine with dead balls, tbh. Just seems to struggle when he has to deal with a ball in motion. I'm talking about Jonas taking corners McBeefaz, sort yourself out!

As unpalatable a truth as it is for fans, almost all of whom genuinely believe they wouldn't make the same decision, it's the same thing 99.9% of footballers would have done. Even ignoring the fact his money was almost tripled it's very clear he's moving to a bigger and currently better (certainly more ambitious...) club, one which will give him far greater opportunities to win things throughout his career, will raise his profile and almost inevitably (even if this isn't the way it should be) lead to more opportunities with England. Not only that but the move made him the most expensive English player of all time. This isn't to say I'm not fucked off with him btw.

I remember Shola at Chelsea and I know he crosses the ball fairly well at times (Birmingham away was a case in point) but I'm still genuinely surprised and impressed every time he manages to get the ball off the ground and with pace on. He'd have to become ludicrously good before I'm able to let go of this stereotype of him unfortunately, it's just too deeply ingrained now

Agreed, I wonder if Jonas could offer something different? It would certainly be different. I'd let him have one for a bit of a laugh, but the joke of the ball rolling slowly along the ground vaguely in the direction of the goal, whilst no worse than most of the deliveries today, would soon grow old.

I don't think he had the ability to stop that move going through once Chelsea had offered £50m to be honest. He did however know he'd get funds once Torres had left.

Courage is an interesting word to use there. Would you say Pards had used 'courage' in selling Carroll? My guess would be that neither manager had a say in the strikers moving on.

Mackems, Bolton and Everton. About 25/1.

No idea whether he'd even be available given how well he's done for Bolton but I'd go all out for Sturridge if there was even a hint he was up for moving this summer if I was Pards. We need a goalscorer and he looks top class to me.

It suits me perfectly though, I'm a bit of a bellend if truth is told.

Mowen * M.Owen * Michael Owen? Imagine the self torment that's involved in being named after football's second biggest wanker. It's soul destroying.

What a cunt. He's not quite on Keith Curle's level but still.

Barton for me.

Bale? Almost as much of a joke as the Poster of the Year result this.

You've lost.

Bramble had everything to become a great defender, everything except a brain. Towards the end of his time the errors he made were a lot more regular than before and he was a liability. I backed him for most of his time here but couldn't in the end because the cock up's were far too regular. Ireland though, he's been a massive mistake since he arrived. I hope that we don't compound that mistake by signing him beyond the end of this season on any terms. The problem with 'everything but a brain' is that once you're looking at players who've reached a decent standard that's the most important attribute for a centre back.

Get Keegan back

I thought he seemed to get fouled a lot today. He was wound up and Villa were playing on it, no doubt.