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Three or four players will change our team. I think we have all the minor cogs in place already, much like we had them before we bought Bellamy and Robert. We just need two more of those. Two more sparks and we'll fuck everyone else up.

THREE months to go. THREE. June, July and August. I cannot believe anyone is actually complaining about it now.

How come we added £10m to our wage bill two summers ago? We signed only Duff and Martins. How's it possible that it jumped so much?

Even though Birmingham crumbled after he got injured in our game, I think he's still pretty average, but may be a useful squad player for now while the Barton thing is still unresolved.

Great. You saw a white man driving a car in Newcastle.

He always seemed to know his stuff when he was on tv back in Asia (though I think he was still here in England, but on tv in Asia, if you know what I mean).

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Not at all. It is freaking May.

Two against Spurs, one against Man Utd and ..? How would they have won the Premiership?

Don't Rijkaard and Ten Cate have history from Barca? I'd love it if Mourinho came back.

This is just the natural state of the forum. It's inevitable, really. And we all love it.

Wasn't it a spit? I've seen the replays on, you know. the other site, and it seems as if it was something that Tevez felt on the back of his neck. Surely a spit?

Isn't it understandable that since he's a striker but has had what, 2 games up front for Chelsea, that he'll be slightly pissed off about the whole thing? Especially since it seems his manager promised that they'd play a 4-2-2 as well.

What are the costs for us, though? Because it's for a damn good cause, and the costs to the first team's preparation being quite negligible (as who you play/what you do on the pitch preseason has never really had an impact on how your season actually goes), a regular thing would be quite a good thing.

No one even knows if we've made a freaking offer yet and there's been all this random discussion about god-knows-what. Chill the fuck out. Let's just wait until the end of the window to fully judge what we've done. Criticising or praising anyone now is hasty to say the least.

That's a ridiculously emotive response. I hear stuff like 'Man Utd and Liverpool have history' all the time when people try to justify why they hate Chelsea. Well you know what, unless Chelsea start winning things now, they won't have 'history' in 10 years time and they'll still be criticized for being a 'plastic' club that they apparently are now. It's just a bs excuse because you (not you, Fred, just 'you' in general if you know what I mean) have nothing better to criticize them for. Same with the money thing. Man Utd have spent a fuckload of cash, and in yesterday's game, they brought on two young superstars who costed them £34m and Chelsea brought on an aging right-back signed for £2m. And yet I don't hear criticism directed at them. So what if Chelsea are funded by one man? They've still got to do it on the pitch and they have. Chelsea's ascendency has been historic and unprecendented, yes, but they've earnt every one of the trophies they've won so far in the same way that every other club earns the trophies they win.

I think he did reveal something. Doesn't look like anything new mate. At a Swedish forum anyone said that this had been said in the Turkish news (and maybe this it is) - Keegan has been in Turkey and met the chairman. - Newcastle has offered £11m but the club does´t want to sell because a few Germany clubs want him so the new asking price for him is £16m, not £12m.

So can I still say that Ronaldo's a choker?

Quality game. The pens were exciting as fuck. Congratulations to Man Utd.

Predictions for the second half? I think Chelsea have figured it out now and I think they'll do it. 2-1.

It's good to see Lampard score. Jammy as fuck and what an ironic way for him to score (after a multitude of deflections + Vds slipping), but it's nice to see that fat people get rewarded once in a while

Oh man what a fucking game so far. Notable players for Man Utd are probably Ronaldo, Hargreaves and Brown (peach of a cross, and has Malouda in his back pocket). For Chelsea, only Lampard and maybe, just maybe, Terry deserves a mention. Chelsea have been outclassed. It's surprising to see Hargreaves line up that far ahead but he's been their outlet (along with Rooney) and has helped Man Utd get way more possession in the key areas of the pitch. It pains me to say this, but Ronaldo started the game awesomely and his header was class. You just knew it was going in when you saw the flight of the cross and him already up there waiting to glance it in. But then he started doing his fucking tricks, the cunt, which pissed me off but he's been one of the best players on the pitch today. Credit

Is there a 'duty to rescue' law in the UK?

I think part of the reason they're defensive is because you can't afford to concede goals in Europe, especially in the knockout competitions. Away goals would have killed them against Lyon and Barca, so they were almost forced to play a defensive game. Last year, they tried to be attacking and Milan (well, Kaka) carved them up way too easily so Fergie must have learnt from that (and credit to him). But today, since there's no reason to be defensive, I'm really hoping they play like they do normally because there will be fuck all difference between losing 3-0 and 1-0. They have to go for it. But anyway, I'm hoping they get bummed. Furiously.

This summer's going to be ace