Memphis

Astonishing free kick there.

Watching a Steve Bruce-led promoted side play reasonably well at Man City is infuriating. With every week that passes, our capitulation there looks worse.

At what point, if any, does Thauvin become worthy of his own transfer thread?

Seems a complete waste of time at this point if we're only now submitting a concrete bid. Unless... ...we have been given assurances that he would have some interest or ...we have no actual intention of spending the money, but want to appear as though we would Otherwise, what's the point now? And at this stage, certainly Ince or someone in that vein would make more sense in virtually every facet.

I look forward to the excitement of his arrival, followed by the immediate nitpicking and inevitable decline of a fine player!

I miss the fact we used to do a little bit of random transfer business - more than one deal done right out of the blue, completely taking this board by surprise. Now it's a tedious slog through hours and hours of ridiculous rumours about one or two players who will almost certainly not sign, without the hope that there's a surprise or two in the offing.

I remember when I used to have summer reading assignments in class. I would have all summer to get those assignments done, read those books, and feel good about it. Then came the end of August. I had one weekend left to read 15 books for the semester I opening test. Turns out if I had just told my instructors that my knowledge was plenty big enough for an average finish, I might just have gotten away with it.

Is Morecambe a sovereign state?

Definitely looking better, as if it was possible to look worse. Wasteful ball from Dummett after a nice overlapping run and good ball from Sammy.

What is going on with Mapou??

Vuckic might as well just head to Bradford already.

Stevenage a goal up at Everton... Martinez out, Pardew in

Fringe players certainly look motivated by the stellar man-management of Alan Pardew.

Morecambe = Arsenal

Every corner is a nightmare

Good news - it's getting slightly easier to determine which is the League Two side.

Love the way we smoothly pass it around our own box four or five times, then back to Elliot for a random punt to someone. Really a good way to maximise your athletic and skill advantages.

http://cdn3.mocksession.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/2013-August-25-23-7-13.jpg Strong work from ESPN there.

Speaks volumes about the state of affairs when we're so desperately crying out for additions yet can hardly be arsed to be linked with anyone. We've got a week left in the window, have significant needs, had money to spend as of June - though that seems to have been forgotten now - yet are clutching at straws.

I don't quite get the mentality of those saying it's useless to complain about Pardew as he's just a symptom of a bigger problem. Surely if you had cancer, for example, and it caused you to develop severe nausea, you'd want to at least take something to make the nausea go away. Sure, it doesn't cure the cancer, but it does make a big difference in how you feel. While Ashley's the owner, nothing good will happen, granted. But at least a manager who spoke with positivity and used the players to their best effect would help make things a bit better, right? It isn't a complete inevitability that we have to play such a dour style of football even if the club itself is rancid from top to bottom.

Last time Newcastle scored 3 in a Premier League match - Sissoko's debut brace leading to the 3-2 Chelsea win on 2 February. Prior to that we scored 3 against Arsenal and ManUtd but lost both matches as you'll recall. The only other time last season was 3-0 win against Wigan on 3 December.

Beyond embarrassing for us. Cardiff score 3 against Manchester City. We've scored 4 goals in total since 30 March.

It's as refreshing and enjoyable to watch teams playing with positivity and confidence, playing as a unit together, as it depressing to watch us play as with negativity and poor tactics as a group of 11 talented individuals.

Got both decisions wrong, but in the process ended up getting everything right.