S.S.R.

Faye is doing his and Enrique's job.

Why? Maybe Smith will get on his bike.

Martins, Owen and Viduka! No Duff! No Smith!

That's like hoping your house burns down so you can get some new carpets with the insurance money.

Best not breach the contract; he'd be free to leave. Oh noes.

Being a pessimistic/realistic sort, I think the most likely outcome of tomorrow's game should be either: HT/FT Draw/Brum Brum/Brum and the bookies agree with me, so obviously they offer shite odds for what is probably going to occur. But should the unlikely occur and we find ourselves winning at half-time, placing a bet beforehand for us to throw away the lead will get 11/1 for fucking it up and 25/1 to completely and utterly fuck it up. May as well make some money out of our misery.

Looking at Paddy Power, Andy Carroll and Shola have been given shorter odds to score.

Hope we sign Sagna What a life it would be If you would come to mine for tea Release Steve Carr on a free and sign that Sagna

Just did a pessimistic prediction on the BBC's fixture calculator. Horrific scenario where Sunderland pick up wins at home against unmotivated sides that are safe from relegation, but have slipped out of the race for Europe. On the last day of the season, Bolton are on 32 points by grinding out draws against mid table sides with nothing to play for, and beat Sunderland in their penultimate game, as the Mackems are already safe and are only to willing to lay down for the home side, to the delight of the their travelling fans. Although we remain unbeaten in our first three home games, we only manage to win the easiest one, and our last home game ends in defeat as our opponents could still mathematically win the title, although it would depend on their rivals losing their last two. With us and Wigan - who have been dragged back down as their luck eventually runs out - on 33 points, and Bolton only one point short, we are all facing relegation on the last game of the season. Due to our abysmal goal difference, if we fail to win, Bolton only have to draw to stay up, and Wigan could then afford to lose. Crucially, the top three has already been decided, as Arsenal's failure to beat any of their rivals and defeat against the champions leaves them marooned on third, but far enough from Liverpool in Fourth not to care. But it is Chelsea, who have secured 2nd spot, and are looking towards their Champions League final, who seal our doom by playing mostly the youth team, not willing to take any chances on possible injuries. Bolton gain their point at a canter. We need a point to stay up. In a cruel twist of irony, our last opponents beat us to make sure of UEFA qualification ahead of their rivals, who eventually win the FA Cup ensuring both teams qualify anyway. Those who can bear to watch any further are 'treated' to the sight of Steve Bruce saying how sad he is to see us go down, although he does this suppressing a big grin and gets showered with Champagne during the interview. Of course, ex-Evertonian and ex-Mackem Boss Peter Reid is in attendance at Goodison Park, and Sam Allardyce is at Stamford Bridge. Both revel in the grief and Keegan gives a tearful interview saying how our fans don't deserve this, and he'll stop at nothing to bring us back up at the first attempt. Ashley makes a tit of Keegan, and by extension us all, when he sacks Keegan the day after and immediately installs Wise to bring us back up. Or we could stay up.

Special Moves Alan Smith - Forward, Forward, Hard kick. Martin Taylor - Forward, Down/Forward, Hard Kick. Aliadiere - Forward, Forward, Weak Punch. Mido - Up/Forward, JUMP + Medium Kick. Steven Taylor - Mash all buttons repeatedly. Joey Barton - Unplug controller. Damien Duff - Forward, Forward, Forward, Forward, Forward, Forward, Block. Michael Owen - Forward, Forward, Forward, Forward, Forward, Forward, Weak Kick. Sunderland - Down, Up, Down, Up, Down, Up, Down, Up.... Steven Carr - You are standing in an open Greggs, there are sandwiches to the East, and Pasties to the West... >West You are standing in front of a selection of pasties and sausage rolls. >Examine Pastie It appears to be a Steak Bake >Get Pastie >Eat Pastie

Isn't he doing himself out of a job promoting this Prozone shite? If it's as good as he says it is, shouldn't anybody - regardless of credentials - be able to pick a side?

http://img512.imageshack.us/img512/7359/gallasanchormansc0.jpg

That was greatly helped because Southgate had the balls to drop his first choice central midfielders & one of them is his captain. Is that the 'If it doesn't work, try something else approach' as apposed to the 'Keep doing it and hope it works eventually' method? Genius.

fuckin hell where is that from Not surprised tbh. They heat the balls tbh. So presumably they have 4 warm ones and 4 cold ones? Wonder how they know which cold one to pick? Or perhaps the 'warm balls' theory is just bollocks??

The difference between our recent performances and Boro's today, was that Boro tried to be first to every ball and didn't allow Arsenal any space. We seem to sit back and say, you do whatever you want, and should you be unlucky enough to lose the ball, Butt will give it back to you. Oh, and your back four can push up as far as they like, because Duff, Owen and Milner aren't fast enough to get past them, and we'll keep Martins on the bench.

http://img138.imageshack.us/img138/4682/ohnoesxe6.jpg

Refs a cunt. Blew before the four minutes were up, and they had a corner.

Mido http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v436/kimhooi10/Blogspot/dad_flyingkick_blg.jpg

Second decent chance Cesc has wasted.

Mido was about to come on, then thought 'Fuck that, it's raining', put his coat back on and sat down.

Not really vital, this.

Liverpool have a goal ruled out for offside.

If we go down, it's your fault.

£35 for the ticket, £24 for the bus down.