Raconteur

Nah, Cavani is the striker, who pulled back into the space. Watch it again - Lascelles and Cavani are almost together, Cavani slows his run and Lascelles keeps, essentially, running away from him. Shelvey is, admittedly, jogging back, but he’s watching Rashford

Astonishing that a professional can ball watch so much. Never once turned his head towards the threat in the middle.

Just heard Chris Waddle say "I used to comb me 'air wif a pillow" to describe his scruffiness. I thought I'll have to add it to my repertoire, but I need you lads to confirm it's not a mackem expression? No need to slip unwashed dialects into my lexicon...

C. Waddle (on Joelinton): “He’s become David Batty”

I'm very comfortable getting Trippier now and coming back for Lamptey (or someone similar) in two or three years

Surely Lamptey would cost closer to 50m?

Interesting to see Woodman named as a potential makeweight - I guess they gave up on him after his ropey efforts earlier in the season…?

At least Rodwell was still a teenager himself, not like a certain other ex-mackem. Almost certainly within local age of consent laws - but still, an elite athlete and a schoolgirl…

Except when juries are selected, they have to convince the prosecutor and defence that they can be unbiased - one of the first questions during jury selection is “Have you read about this story in the papers?” ie do you already know some of the “facts” in the case - facts tainted by media reporting. Maybe its unique to Australian law, but I thought we took most of our principles from British Justice (TM)

I hope you won’t object if I ignore all of your opinions after this

Like Arteta would fist bump their unwashed hands

Hopefully that will dovetail with Ashworth coming in…?

Would certainly take BBD - I saw him linked with someone who isn’t us and thought we should be in there

I don’t know whether a 20yo is the final answer, but let’s do it. All aboard

I’m no legal boffin, but how the hell do they get a jury together for that trial?

I don’t know that he’s been below average - he was man of the match in as many as three games since Howe came in. He’s shown excellent attitude and surprising aptitude in his new role - long may it continue.

Aye, that was a fucking peach

Just answering the question and diverting conversation away from old fucking goalkeepers

Facebook tells me Sule leaving Munich to an unknown club with Newcastle a possible location - “as good as sealed” from Sky Germany.

£150m isn’t impossible, we just don’t know at the moment. Nketiah is trendy at the moment, I thought I’d push the boat out. Better teams might be in for Vlahovic, but we should at least be making an offer.

This would have tremendous novelty value, but I wonder if smaller Welsh, Scottish or Northern Irish clubs could afford it? You'd think UEFA would be on board with England giving up one of its UEFA cup slots to a UK League Cup

This is the crux for me - it means, at worst, international football three out of every four norther summers. Continental Championships become sideshows jammed into the calendar. Players who have played for three years straight are not going to be great at that last World Cup, diminishing the quality and defeating the purpose.

Someone mentioned about a dozen pages back that we should perhaps revisit the "Realistic Transfers Thread" to separate players we want or think we should go for from those we are actually linked with? I have to say I agree with that idea - especially after the last few pages. We could even do loans and purchases The Athletic article from when Hammond was hired mentioned a shopping list of positions - it seems to be David Ornstein's thoughts rather than Hammond's, but he lists these positions: "A ball-playing, athletic centre-back, a dynamic midfielder and a progressive full-back are among the priority positions that require strengthening." "Ideally, an attacking midfielder and a striker would also arrive, but conducting such extensive surgery on a squad in January is rare and also notoriously difficult." So DC, MC, DL(?), AMC, SC? (The article was written after Lewis was injured and Trippier linked, so maybe they're thinking Trippier as DL?) Botman, Kamara, Tripper/Digne, Alli, Vlahovic. Sorted

Gets confusing when we play FIFA and “Perez” has the ball. I hear you - I used to be a teacher, and getting kids’ names is really important. You ask them to pronounce it, repeat it back and listen for corrections. Some of the pronunciation is diabolical - from Karlo Darlow in goals to San-Maxima up front.

I guess I was commentating on the absurdity of it. My daughter has my Perez top now I’ve got an ASM, and she still pronounces it as Ayothee.