Raconteur

Keeper needs to bellow one of two words there: either “keeper” or “away”. He clearly didn’t. That’s not a good reason for Clark to let it bounce in the fucking six yard box.

Isn’t “ill” code for “unvaccinated and isolating”?

Fourth choice in a team that got relegated. Still blows my mind

Are we certain Schar and Manquillo are available?

Digne might be available for loan given he’s been dropped and about to be replaced. The Everton board might not want to sell him in case there’s a new manager who might like Digne…? Mind, if that’s true, you’d expect Chelsea to get him

There’s also the three year period that has now advanced six months since they were hamstrung in summer - some expensive transfers would no longer count towards FFP

I remember a period of a few weeks where it seemed commentators had been briefed to call him “Ayothee” and then it went back to Ayozee or Perez.

How the fuck can you live and work in two different English speaking nations for five years and have no English?

Weren't we involved with a Middle Eastern TV show that gave three kids spots in the academy? Maybe 10-15 years ago?

They've just spent years (and 350m) acquiring the club. They might well have planned to spend modestly in January, but the future of the club is on the line - they're going to spend in order to protect their investment. As for attracting players, if you listen to rumourmongers, Trippier and Lindgard are as good as signed. The new executive mentioned three players they certainly want, with another two or three if necessary. It becomes more apparent every week that those extra two or three are pretty fucking necessary.

The whole "never ever in history has it been done" if pretty fucking daft, if you ask me. When has a relegation-threatened team been afforded hundreds of millions to buy genuinely quality players?

At his age, after a serious calf injury, he has little chance of being quick again. Out of contract in the summer - he'll be lucky to dirty a shirt for us again.

That's outstanding

Surely it will be a Rooney-Ferguson old boys wankfest?

You've not heard of the Toon superstars Ireland, Doumbia or Ferrerya?

I don’t know - would be happy with Calvert-Lewin, Hudson-Odoi, Smith-Rowe or Alexander-Arnold.

I think the difference is The Athletic is specifically for sports? Isn't it generally just the Tory rags that are paywalled (for general news)? EDIT Further to the first point - the whole principle of The Athletic is "We're setting up a high quality sports journalism subscription service", which is why I hesitate to post stories from there

Not just hated, Michael, but probably the most hated Toon player in the PL era

Given Lewis’ injury, I’d really like them to sell him to us

No slight possibility of a point when Man U roll up with a cobbled together team and another week of Howe’s planning and training? No possibility at all?

In FM you can only make three changes to your European squads after the January window, that’s all I can think of…?

No idea, would have thought of it was limited then it would have been mentioned at least once in all the coverage of our first post-takeover window

There’s a lot of merit to this - if we want to bring in four or five then we need to shift as many out

It was hit sweetly enough that, had it hit him, he might well have ended up brain dead. Proper Robert v O'Brien potential

Yup, here's hoping