Paully

Not good enough for Joe but good enough for Inter Milan! Unbelievable!

New PSG coach Blanc hints at Cabaye interest: http://t.co/PmuQ3v69pP

He's at it again! http://www.shieldsgazette.com/sport/football/newcastle-united/exclusive-kinnear-i-m-head-and-shoulders-above-the-rest-1-5814868

George Caulkin Published 32 minutes ago In the first in our series of scouting reports, George Caulkin tries to get to the bottom of Newcastle’s transfer policy This would have been an easier piece to write three weeks ago. As it is, with Joe Kinnear’s startling appointment as director of football and Derek Llambias’s departure as managing director, it is more difficult to hold up Newcastle United as a model for anything aside from unpredictability, which feels like a disheartening return to a default setting under Mike Ashley’s ownership. The upshot of one desperately poor season and one desperately bizarre decision has been to leave Newcastle scrambling; officials have been scrambling to make sense of a new structure at the club and how that will filter down to them, while Alan Pardew and Graham Carr, manager and chief scout, have scrambled into meetings with the new “senior executive in charge of all football-related matters.” The perplexing thing here - and there is much to be perplexed about at St James’ Park this summer - is that Newcastle’s transfer policy had felt both substantive and (relatively) successful. There were frailties, peculiarities and tensions, which we will come on to discuss, but their policy of signing young players of value, often approaching the end of their contracts and often from France was a sea change. It was born from pragmatism. Having wasted a significant fraction of his fortune covering Newcastle’s debt and keeping them afloat, Ashley decided he did not want to waste any more. Under Llambias’s leadership, the club aimed for self-sufficiency, making savings on energy consumption and reinvesting that money back into infrastructure. In effect, transfers were an extension of that. As with all of these things, the key to it is personnel. In a comparable set-up, Dennis Wise and Kevin Keegan proved a toxic cocktail. In Carr, Newcastle have an experienced chief scout - in reality, he has been far more involved than that - with a deep knowledge of the French market in particular. In Pardew, they have a manager who walked into the job with his eyes open. It was a collaborative effort. Newcastle - and presumably this was a nod to Llambias’s roots in the casino business - colour-coded their players like gambling chips. In time, the first-team would all be ‘purples’, the reserves and development players different shades and they populated all three with youngsters. It was vaguely strange, but the theory went that, in future, the club would look to promote internally first. In that regard, results were mediocre. Players beneath the first XI have struggled to challenge for places - problematic when Newcastle were beset by injury last season - but few would dispute the achievements elsewhere. Hatem Ben Arfa cost around £5m. Yohan Cabaye cost around £4.5m, Cheik Tiote £3.5m, Moussa Sissoko a couple of million. Form has fluctuated, but the talent and value is clear. Pardew has played a secondary role. He has recommended players and has, on occasion, been listened to, but his request to add more experience to his squad (in effect, he means British), has, until this point, been largely ignored. Newcastle had a ‘French Day‘ in February, celebrating their Gallic connection, although the way the season ended made that seem a little premature. There have been strains in the relationship between Carr and Pardew and other concerns about the system. Rigidity on fees and wages saw Newcastle back away from deals for Mathieu Debuchy, Sissoko and Douglas, amongst others, a year ago and Pardew’s team suffered for it. Their dealings in January were an admission of failure and, even then, they barely scraped across the line. Ashley was understandably unimpressed. To date, there have not been many high-profile departures (Demba Ba, who had a specific release clause, apart), but at some stage it would appear inevitable under this plan - Cabaye seems the likeliest to leave - because Newcastle are not the most expansive payers and nor are they in the Champions League. How does team spirit endure and thrive over the long-term? How can a bond to the team and city be generated? According to one of the prime movers at St James’, some tinkering was necessary, but Kinnear’s arrival has - temporarily at least - obliterated Newcastle’s stated aim of ‘stability’. There are suggestions that, as Pardew wishes, he will look more to the domestic market - Carr, like everyone, has felt insecurity about his position - but until they act, we cannot know for certain. The model’s foundations are trembling.

"We're all off to celebrate in Shearer's Bar.......oh wait a minute!" Lineker after the match there!

Well played the howlers of Newcastle George CaulkinJune 27 2013 13:06PM Sometimes, all that is left is a howl of rage. Like when you’ve been on hold to a utility company or your bank for 23 minutes too long and just at that precious moment when the Muzak stops and you get through to a real-life human being, albeit one in a call centre several thousand miles away, the line goes dead. You howl and rage and bawl into the deafening silence of a phone receiver because it’s all you can do. Like when you’re puttering along quite nicely in traffic and some idiot pulls out in front of you without indicating; you slam on the brakes and reach for the horn and scream “FOR F***’S SAKE! WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU F***ING PLAYING AT YOU F***ING C***? IT’S MY F***ING RIGHT OF F***ING WAY!” because there’s nothing else to be done (unless, of course, you go down the route of following said idiot to work, sitting in your car all day, not eating, urinating into an old cola bottle you found underneath the passenger seat, finally following the idiot home, sitting outside his house for the entire night feeling increasingly paranoid because you haven’t eaten and because that’s how late-night call radio makes you feel, waiting until he leaves for work again and then breaking in and doing something unmentionable on his hall carpet. But I can’t really recommend that, and my bloody injunction is still in force anyway). You don’t shout into the telephone because it’s going to persuade the ombudsman to change the regulations about out-sourced customer relations solutions, just as you don’t swear at your fellow road-user thinking it will lead to a wide-ranging review of the Highway Code. You do it because it’s the sound that comes out of you at the time and, for all that it isn’t particularly constructive and you might feel a bit daft afterwards, satisfaction can be taken from the release. So we howl. Football makes us howl constantly. When a striker goes down like a sniper’s victim outside the area and a penalty is awarded against our team and we can all see it was outside the flaming area, even a blind man could see that, well OK, maybe not a blind man, but a man with a poor eyesight and anyway that’s not the point it was outside the bloody area and it wasn’t even a foul and we get to our feet and shout “HEW MAN REF!” and we gesticulate and our eyes bulge and veins pop. We don’t do that because the referee is going to reverse his decision. We don’t do it because we think Sepp Blatter will intervene on our behalf. We do it because that’s what football is — illogical and passionate and standing up for your town or city and just being there and bearing witness and shouting. That’s certainly what football is like in the North East. This isn’t a region where we’re defined by what we win. The things we won — past tense — is a proud part of our history and heritage, but Newcastle United last lifted a meaningful domestic trophy in 1955, the FA Cup in 1973 is the only thing Sunderland have won since before the Second World War and, while Middlesbrough’s League Cup win in 2004 is relatively recent, it is also their sole piece of silverware. So winning, by and large, is not what we do. What we do is turn up and howl. There are spells and eras and individual occasions when we have fun and feel a surge of momentum, but there is a lot of humiliation and dismay in there, too. Football is an extension of who we are and where we live. We want a bit of effort and pride, something to believe in and belong to. And even when things go wrong, which they do quite often, we still turn up. On Monday night, a few hundred Newcastle supporters turned up to the Labour Club on Leazes Park Road, a wayward free kick away (and we’ve seen plenty of those) from St James’ Park. Some came to speak, others to listen, but all were there out of frustration or concern at recent events. Some were there simply because of love. And it is fair to say that some howling was involved. The meeting was organised by Newcastle Fans United, an umbrella group that has opened dialogue with the club while trying to collect, collate and reflect the diverse opinions of supporters. That is not a straightforward task and, as always with these things, there have been questions about agendas, motivation, why some people are involved and others aren’t, and what the point of it is. Those politics aren’t my business or interest, except to say that I know a couple of the individuals involved and would vouch for their integrity and sincerity (you can find out more here). Good people, trying to make a difference. You cannot claim that they did not attempt to do things properly. There was a short statement about who they were and what they were doing. There was an open microphone for fans to make their points and ask questions, two representatives of the club were in the audience (Wendy Taylor, the head of media, and Lee Marshall, the PR and supporter liaison manager), as was an associate of Joe Kinnear, whose contentious appointment as director of football was one of the main reasons everybody was present. There were frustrations, of course there were. Newcastle’s representatives could not answer the questions being asked of them, in part because they do not yet know what the new reality at the club actually is. But they got there early and stayed there late and they listened and they engaged and they chatted. It was ballsy of Kinnear’s ally to turn up and speak, although he did not add much to the clarity of proceedings and, in the end, was effectively drowned out. A motion was called and carried requesting that Mike Ashley, Newcastle’s owner, withdraws. If you were searching for a theme, it was fairly evident: anger. Anger that Kinnear, a man indelibly associated with the most toxic season in Newcastle’s recent history, was back at the club; anger that his interviews brought the tang of farce to Gallowgate; anger at last season; anger at Ashley’s compendium of bizarre decisions. There was anger at their own impotence, that the club might be here but that nothing would come of it. For the record, there were a few opposing views, and there a bit of anger in them, too. Walking away, my initial reaction was conflicted. I loved some of the eloquence and the passion, the thought that had gone into planning the event (Kinnear had been invited), the push for fairness, but I was also a bit troubled by the absence of fanzines and other people I like and respect. I’d seen the chaos of democracy and wondered what the message was and how you evaluate the worth. It has taken me a few days to realise that I was wrong. Ungenerous and wrong. In spite of the motion, dialogue with the club will continue, and if that dialogue proves utterly irrelevant when it comes to Ashley’s mindset and redundant when it comes to influencing him, then it shouldn’t negate the fact that there are decent people at Newcastle who want to do the right thing and who have some small power to do it. Communication is a huge issue, but talking, even in a limited fashion, is better than not talking. I read comments about the meeting on Twitter and elsewhere. I read about a lack of dignity. I read about the Ashley motion and people wanting to know what the alternative was, and then, for a moment, I wondered at my own hypocrisy. Because I remembered a piece I had written for The Times when, in the aftermath of relegation, Ashley took Newcastle off the market and announced his intention to sell the naming rights of St James’. I’d forgotten how angry I felt about that; angry for my friends, for the city I live in and one of its most iconic buildings, for the region I care about, angry at more words written on corrosion. I’d forgotten how important venting can be. Amid Kinnear, Dennis Wise, Kevin Keegan, Alan Shearer, Chris Hughton, demotion, St James’, Sports Direct, Wonga and everything else, perhaps I had become numbed. (And yes, yes, yes, I know it’s not a one-way street. There has been a plan and a structure recently, fifth place, good players and self-sufficiency, although where all that stands now we can only guess at.) So I looked up that article. Time has elapsed and the world has turned and I’ve probably changed, but it was how I felt back then. I can understand the people who have given up on Newcastle or are close to it and I can also understand those who grit their teeth, wipe their feet on their way into the stadium and carry on. Equally, I have a fresh understanding of those who howl. Well played to those at the Labour Club. Well played and thank you. From The Times, October 2009: “We may as well begin as we mean to continue: Ashley out. We may as well shed any notion of journalistic impartiality, because certain circumstances demand it: Ashley out. Just as no man is bigger than a football club — in spite of what those same men might think — some issues rise above work and professionalism and straddling a fence in the name of politics and this is one of them: Ashley out. Now that he is staying, it warrants repetition: Ashley out. There is nothing to be gained by not speaking minds, even if Mike Ashley’s tattered regime at Newcastle United is limping on regardless and even if supporters know damn well their battered old club has not been listening. Over the past two years, they have been stripped of their pride, dignity, status and reputation; take away the howl of rage and what are you left with?”

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Joe isn't the only 1! http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2348033/PICTURED-Sammy-Ameobi-partying-New-York-Benoit-Assou-Ekotto-Las-Vegas-Michael-Carrick-Phil-Neville-Barbados-Florent-Malouda-goes-home-Cristiano-Ronaldo-air.html?ico=sport^headlines

He comes across as a spot on bloke http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2347606/Dads-Parkinsons-drove-suicide--I-wont-let-destroy-life-Sky-presenter-Dave-Clark-bravely-goes-public-devastating-diagnosis.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

Interview from 3 years ago "Kevin Keegan and Alan Shearer, the Messiahs, got nine points between them." When I went into hospital, we were 13th with 13 games left. Everything was going in our favour. All the other clubs were getting beat, and we were on a great run. It was looking an absolute doddle. I said to Mike (Ashley), let me come back, but he said, no, the club doctor spoke to the specialist, and it was too dangerous. What disappointed me most was that, irrespective of my health, I could have been a figurehead, so Alan could have bounced things off me. I would have be able to help and guide him. Alan has been a phenomenal player, but hes never been in management or coaching. The whole of Newcastle wanted him, and they got him. They have delusions of grandeur They need someone who can put a winning unit together on a regular basis. If it was me, and I had pot loads of money, I would try and get someone like Martin ONeill. Joe Kinnear claimed today that Ashley had made him an offer last month of a two-year contract to come back as manager, only for him to turn it down on medical grounds. His doctor says he cannot return to the dug-out until December at the earliest. But it is other comments by Kinnear, who managed the club from September until he left for triple heart bypass surgery in February, about regional attitudes that may stir debate. "I think Mike Ashley got a lot of unfair criticism last year, I think anybody from London does, that's the way life is up there," said Kinnear. "We were 2-0 up against Aston Villa [in November] and a chant broke out around the entire stadium for about 10 minutes, 'There's only one KK.' You get it whoever you are, it's just the way they are. Up there, KK [Kevin Keegan] and Shearer are their two Messiahs and that's who they want all the time." Kinnear's opinion about Newcastle was countered by a spokesman for the regional development agency One North East. "The north-east is well known as one of the most welcoming areas of the UK. Last year Lonely Planet described the north-east as 'the most exciting, beautiful andfriendly region in the whole of England'." Kinnear said he cannot see Shearer returning as manager while Ashley remains owner. "I would think Shearer would go back if new buyers come in," he said. "He won't under the present ownership. At the moment I wouldn't think there's any chance." The coach, Chris Hugh- ton, is fulfilling a caretaker role for now. Kinnear also backed the striker Michael Owen to return to form at Manchester United, the club he joined last month after four disappointing seasons at Newcastle. "Michael will be a much better player alongside the type of players that Man United have got," he said at the launch of the new Championship Manager 2010 game. "Unfortunately we were just a workmanlike side, we didn't create enough chances for him. At Newcastle he got a little bit stale and disappointed with what he was playing with. I spoke to Alex [Ferguson] prior to Michael going there and I think the move will inspire him." Kinnear said that Ferguson had inquired about Owen's "fitness level, nothing else". "Michael is only 29, people forget that," said Kinnear. "He's had some decent games for us but when we don't produce, he gets starved and it's tough for him. He just had to roll his sleeves up at Newcastle, they are not a glamour team. He has gone to a real glamour team now."

Currently free on The Times Joe Kinnear is redefining the director of football role Alyson Rudd June 24 2013 14:06PM The title “director of football” is not, by and large, one that commands huge respect in Britain. It is viewed with a certain mistrust. If they are not standard issue at every club, why do certain club owners feel the need to appoint one? Does having one mean that the owner is too involved, too mistrustful of the manager? It can, therefore, often be a pretty thankless task. Damien Comolli, for example, is remembered as the man who spent too much on Andy Carroll, while Kenny Dalglish’s legacy in his most recent stint as Liverpool manager is subject to more light and shade. He took the club to two cup finals, even if the results in the league were disappointing. His dealings with the media were misguided, even if his heart was in the right place. Meanwhile, Comolli, well, he paid too much for Carroll. The director of football sounds all-powerful, but he is not quite the manager, not quite a top executive. His presence will be resented, if not by the manager then by someone; the chief scout or the managing director or the fans. Sometimes he can be a saviour. The appointment of Steve Coppell as director of football at Crawley Town was not widely regarded with distaste. It was a way, perhaps, of attracting a man of calibre when the job offer of manager would not have cut it for him. So, what’s in it for the DoF, beyond a juicy salary? It is not true that most DoFs are really after the manager’s job. That appeared the strategy of Avram Grant, first at Chelsea, then at Portsmouth, but more typical is someone such as John Rudge, who acted as DoF for five managers at Stoke City and was not regarded as a threat to any. So, I did wonder if it was possible to blog about DoFs and not mention Joe Kinnear. It was a test I set myself and I failed. Happily failed. What his appointment at Newcastle United has highlighted is that DoFs are the dark pools of satanic literature. You peer in and see what you fear to see. It would help if Newcastle or Kinnear could intelligently explain why a DoF is needed and what he will do, but the suspicion is that the mirth, confusion, panic and depression prompted by the unexpected return of Kinnear, who produced a 22 per cent win ratio when manager at St James’ Park from 2008 to 2009, might be the point of it all. Is it all a big laugh for Mike Ashley, the club’s owner – a case of I can, so I will? There is sympathy for Alan Pardew, the manager, but it would have been worse if a former beloved manager with status had been recruited. At least Pardew does not have to compete with Kinnear for fan loyalty. If this marks the beginning of end of his Newcastle career, it will enable him to leave with relative dignity. The interviews, the hilarious interviews – saying “Kebab” rather than “Cabaye” on talkSPORT is just one – prevented a cold analysis of Kinnear’s new job. He has wrecked the post before finding a drawer for his new stapler. It does not matter what a DoF at Newcastle could or should do. Ashley has found a job for a bloke he likes and perhaps trusts, and the only available title was DoF. Kinnear realised pretty quickly a DoF is supposed to have a decent CV, a sheen of superiority, and that is why he talked up his achievements. Had he said nothing, he could have become like other DoFs; a shadowy figure seen deep in conversation at restaurants with the owner, blamed for poor buys, ignored when new players perform well. It would be stretching things to suggest that he could have been someone Pardew would turn to for advice, but like Chauncey Gardiner in Being There, saying very little is often misinterpreted as a sign of deep thinking. Just imagine if Kinnear had opted to maintain a solid silence and eventually emerge as at the grand old wise man of the game. It can’t happen now, though. Still, that Manager of the Year award from the Mirror should provide ample compensation.

Latest from The Swiss Ramble; http://swissramble.blogspot.ch/2013/06/premier-league-201112-some-girls-are.html

“What Shearer says is diabolical. This is a guy who hasn’t got a clue about coaching. Good in five a sides, though, so they tell me. The last game of the season he came up with the master idea of playing Damien Duff at left back. Damien is one of the best left wingers in the business, but can’t tackle. And we went down with an own goal from Damien. Shearer keeps slagging me off. He is being disrespectful to me, but I am entitled to fight back.”

West Ham want £8 million plus for him!

The new Bar sign is up!

@MsiDouglas: Just had an email from @paddypower - they're giving a £5 free bet to all #nufc fans out of sympathy! http://t.co/gjsdcLuUsh

@MsiDouglas: Just had an email from @paddypower - they're giving a £5 free bet to all #nufc fans out of sympathy! http://t.co/gjsdcLuUsh

Their PR department will do well to shift any half season tickets at Christmas! Their 1st 8 home games; 17 August Sunderland v Fulham 14 September Sunderland v Arsenal 28 September Sunderland v Liverpool 05 October Sunderland v Manchester United 26 October Sunderland v Newcastle United 09 November Sunderland v Manchester City 03 December Sunderland v Chelsea 07 December Sunderland v Tottenham Hotspur

Good luck to him - he always put in a good shift for us and was nowhere near as bad as some made out! No idea why he got as much stick!

Martin Samuel; If Kinnear is having a final say on transfers and is the public face of Newcastle, there needs to be more to him than meets the eye. And it can’t be fiction. By Martin Samuel PUBLISHED: 22:45, 18 June 2013 | UPDATED: 00:40, 19 June 2013 9 shares 0 View comments A very nice man, Bobby Gould. He sat in the studio at talkSPORT listening to Joe Kinnear take credit for some of the most value-for-money, insightful transfers in the history of the Premier League, and never said so much as excuse me, sunshine. ‘They say I haven’t had any experience in buying and selling players,’ jabbered Kinnear. ‘Sure I have — I bought Dean Holdsworth for 50 grand, sold him for £3million. I sold John Scales for £3m — he was a free transfer. I sold Robbie Earle for XYZ. I sold Marcus Gayle, Leonhardsen, Keith Curle, Micky Harford, John Hartson, Hans Segers. Most of them were free transfers.’ Do you know how many free transfers were actually in that list? None. Do you know who bought three of them? Bobby Gould. Among the best ones, too. John Scales for £70,000, plus Keith Curle and Hans Segers. Notorious: Joe Kinnear is renowned for his expletive-laden rants at officials and journalists in the past Notorious: Joe Kinnear is renowned for his expletive-laden rants at officials and journalists in the past More from Martin Samuel... Martin Samuel: Rose raises the bar to beat the burden of history on magical Merion Sunday17/06/13 . MARTIN SAMUEL: As Rocky's legacy lives on in Philadelphia, London waits on its return on the £9BILLION Olympics16/06/13 . MARTIN SAMUEL: Three games, three defeats. It's time for change. The Under 21s need a teacher, not a student... so surely Hoddle must take the reins11/06/13 . Martin Samuel: New era, but same old Jose! Don't be fooled by the quiet start, Mourinho is back for a scrap10/06/13 . MARTIN SAMUEL: England U21s would have been torn to shreds by Germany, Spain or Holland. The golden generation this ain't09/06/13 . Why nepotism was never going to work for me06/06/13 . MARTIN SAMUEL: Hodgson's Rooney gamble could leave the road to Rio in ruins...04/06/13 . MARTIN SAMUEL: Pellegrini will not emulate the long reign of Ferguson, Man City's attack bunny Soriano will make sure of that02/06/13 . VIEW FULL ARCHIVE. Kinnear wasn’t even at Wimbledon then. He was reserve manager when Ray Harford paid Port Vale £750,000 for Robbie Earle. And Earle wasn’t sold for X, Y or even Z, as Kinnear speculates. He wasn’t sold at all, in fact. Earle suffered a ruptured pancreas playing for Wimbledon reserves in 2000 and, later that year, retired. The strange thing is that Kinnear does not need to aggrandise his achievements at Wimbledon. Even without taking credit for Gould’s transfer acumen his time in south London remains the highlight on his c.v. Kinnear was reserve-team manager from 1989 and took over the first team in January 1992. Under his stewardship, Wimbledon finished sixth in 1993-94 and achieved significant top-10 finishes in other seasons despite playing their home matches at Crystal Palace. He stood down for health reasons in June 1999 and the next season Wimbledon were relegated from the Premier League, never to return. That club, in its previous format, does not even exist any more. So Kinnear has plenty to shout about without, basically, making stuff up. Holdsworth cost £650,000, not £50,000, from Brentford and far from most of Kinnear’s list of signings being free transfers, all cost money. Kinnear signed John Hartson for £7.5m, a club record, from West Ham United and when he left following relegation it was to join Coventry City on a pay-as-you-play deal. Terry Burton was Wimbledon manager by then. Kinnear made a decent return, £2.85m, on Holdsworth and Oyvind Leonhardsen, but both players cost £650,000. They were not plucked from obscurity. A lot of managers add a little gravy to their achievements, but not like this. Kinnear turns three Manager of the Month awards into the same number of Manager of the Year prizes (for the record he was Manager of the Year once) and heaven knows how he adds up his total appearances for Tottenham Hotspur. John Scales Hans Segers Really, Joe? Kinnear claimed to have signed both John Scales (left) and Hans Segers (right) while at Wimbledon Inflated: Kinnear claimed to have signed a number of Wimbledon players that were brought in by Bobby Gould Inflated: Kinnear claimed to have signed a number of Wimbledon players that were brought in by Bobby Gould Leading man: Kinnear claimed to have picked Dean Holdsworth from obscurity Leading man: Kinnear claimed to have picked Dean Holdsworth from obscurity He said he played over 400 games for the club, but records show 196 league appearances over 10 seasons, meaning he would have had to play more than 20 cup games each year to pass the 400 mark. That’s a lot of replays. The real total is 258. That’s not to be sniffed at, either. So why exaggerate? ‘I have been to various countries watching games,’ Owen Coyle, the new Wigan Athletic manager, soothed this week. Has he? Fiction: Robbie Earle retired while at Wimbledon and was never sold by Kinnear, as he claimed Fiction: Robbie Earle retired while at Wimbledon and was never sold by Kinnear, as he claimed We take his word for it. The same generosity wouldn’t be extended to Kinnear now. Coyle could be an aficionado of the European game immersed in the principles of the La Masia academy, or he may have stuck his head around the door once at Tenerife during a winter holiday. It is a matter of trust. Every utterance from Kinnear as director of football at Newcastle United, though, will be met with scepticism. Kinnear has been the victim of appalling snobbery for dropping a few aitches and a few F-bombs in the past, but this runs deeper. Favourite: Mike Ashley and Kinnear are good friends Favourite: Mike Ashley and Kinnear are good friends Kinnear: Which one is Simon Bird (North East based football writer for the Daily Mirror)? Bird: Me. Kinnear: You’re a c***. Bird: Thank you. Now we’ve all had that from Joe on occasions. During his time at Wimbledon we had a row that began in the car park at Selhurst Park, continued up several flights of stairs and ended with us bursting into the press room shouting at the top of our voices. His last expletive-strewn utterance was that he effing wouldn’t be effing answering any of my effing questions. I let a couple go and asked the third. He replied as if nothing had happened. He has never mentioned it since. That’s Joe. What it isn’t, however, is the model of a very modern director of football. It is hard to imagine the new raft of executives at Manchester City, for instance, opening a public discussion by calling a member of the press a c***, or being caught out over the pronunciation of names or matters of public record such as transfer fees and dates of arrival. Kinnear was a fine player. He served 10 years at Tottenham, won four cups — not five as he stated — and made 26 appearances for the Republic of Ireland. There is no reason he would not know a player. Indeed, Kinnear might be as well in with the greats of the game as he suggests. The point is, with his coarse outbursts and insulting struggles with foreign names, he does not fit the profile of the continental sophisticate naturally palling around with Arsene Wenger. The Premier League is a global competition. There is a difference between losing a sense of national identity with an influx of foreign staff, and employing a senior executive who risks diplomatic incident by calling players Kebab and Insomnia because he can’t be bothered to recall and pronounce Cabaye and N’Zogbia. Really? Kinnear mispronounced star man Yohan Cabaye's (right) name in a radio interview Really? Kinnear mispronounced star man Yohan Cabaye's (right) name in a radio interview Insomnia: Kinnear riled former Newcastle winger Charles N'Zogbia with a slip of his tongue Insomnia: Kinnear riled former Newcastle winger Charles N'Zogbia with a slip of his tongue Mike Ashley, the Newcastle owner, is believed to like Kinnear best of all his managers, but that is not enough. No doubt he enjoys the fact that he calls a spade a f****** shovel and journalists a bunch of, well, you know. Yet football is more complex now. The old-school ally can be your valued friend in the boardroom telling it like it is — Bobby Campbell is close to Roman Abramovich, for instance — but if Kinnear is having a final say on transfers and is the public face of Newcastle, there needs to be more to him than meets the eye. Much more. And it can’t be fiction. Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2344117/Joe-Kinnear-prove-takes-Newcastle--MARTIN-SAMUEL.html#ixzz2WdIiBGro Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

Michael Martin is on Sky radio at 2.15pm

Go on Michael Martin!

Kinnear is on Talksport at 10pm and true faith's Michael Martin is on afterwards as per his text (Michael's not Joe's!)!

Caulkin; It had almost reached the point where you could laugh about it. Almost. The grin might have been forced and the voice strained, but you could almost bear to retell the tales, dragging out the stories like a grizzled war correspondent. Almost. Almost, but not quite. Because away from the daftness and the grammatical foibles and the bizarre flights of fantasy, Joe Kinnear and Newcastle United should only be a source of the darkest humour. Let us not skirt the issue. Let us not play games with language or deal in half-truths or politics. Let us not suggest you read between the lines. Let us be as bold and as brash as Mike Ashley in relation to the owner’s most contentious decisions at St James’ Park. Let us say this: if Joe Kinnear is the answer, the only possible question is “who would you least like to be associated with Newcastle, not including Dennis Wise?” There is one thing that people always get wrong when I tell them about my job. There is plenty they get right, such as “you lucky bugger, being paid to watch football”. But the thing they get wrong when I explain that I’m based in the North East is when they say “never dull up there, is it? There’s always something to write about. You must love it!” Sometimes they throw in an extra “love it” just to sound like Kevin Keegan. They soon shut up when they see my 1000-yard stare and the tremor of a twitch in the corner of my eyes. Because while I love the North East and while I love our football, I don’t love it when North East football is lampooned. In fact, I hate that. And it is worse than dull when the subjects you write about are corrosion and failure and underachievement. It gnaws at the soul. There has been no season more toxic, less pleasant to record, more outrageous or shaming than Newcastle’s in 2008-09, when a great club was taken to its knees by a compendium of mismanagement, muddled thinking and recklessness. And in the midst of it all was Joe Kinnear, swearing and dissembling, a key player in the farce, sitting in the same seat that Sir Bobby Robson once sat in. I looked up an old interview I conducted with Sir Bobby to publicise a book about Newcastle, the club and the city, which we had worked on together. It was not too long after Kinnear had called journalists “c****” and “so f****** slimy” and promised that nobody was “going to f*** me off or frighten me in any manner,” because he was here “for a simple chance to f****** prove myself.” “How do headmasters or educationalists in Newcastle, reading that, explain it to schoolchildren?” Sir Bobby said in response. “I think it’s more likely to encourage people to take up rugby rather than football. “It came at a time when people have been desperate for reasons to be proud of their club and while some people might think journalists deserve what they get, my belief is it took the club down another peg or two. A manager of Newcastle speaking like that? It should never happen. It’s a job of dignity, integrity and responsibility. I hope Joe’s successful, but it wasn’t the right way to behave.” He reflected on Kinnear’s arrival, Keegan’s departure, the presence of Wise, the jumble of roles, players being signed without the manager’s knowledge and being told to look them up on YouTube, the bafflement and betrayal of supporters. “There are all sorts of words you could use to describe what’s happened – and some have been vitriolic – but the one I’d use to express what I feel about the club is sadness,” Robson said. “It’s not just disappointing or outrageous or obnoxious, it’s just sad how a big, magnificent club like it is, could have reached this point.” Kinnear’s press conferences were part of that. They weren’t entertaining. They were ludicrous. There was confusion and obfuscation about the length of his contract, a potential takeover: “I worked it out that I would be in charge for between six and eight games. But (Mike Ashley) assures me that they have a buyer and the consortium coming in have Kevin Keegan lined up and possibly Alan Shearer. I’m well aware of the situation. Good luck to Kevin if he’s coming back in. He’s the fans choice and you know what the fans are like, they call the tune in many respects.” Didn’t happen. There was to be a D-Day meeting with Ashley about the sale of the club: “I’ll find out where we stand. It’ll certainly clear the air for everybody – me, the players, the supporters and everyone associated with the club.” Never happened. There were plans for the transfer window: “One (player) is with Roma and he is not in the team at the moment and the other is a player who has already scored against us this season. I know their agents and what they would be is loan deals from January until the end of the season.” Didn’t happen. After the obscenity, there was a press call, before a match with Tottenham Hotspur, who he had played for with some distinction, when Kinnear burst into song: “In Dublin’s fair city, Where the boys are so pretty, We first set our eyes on big Joe Kinnear, As he wheeled his wheelbarrow, Through the streets wide and narrow, Crying ‘Tottenham! Tottenham’!” Might have happened, no less bemusing. And then there was the daddy of them all, when a nugget of information and a line I was desperate to write (“If Joe Kinnear thought he had a mountain to climb when he was manager of Nepal …”) came out on a rare quiet day. So, big Joe Kinnear. Tell us about Nepal. “I was in Nepal for two years as their national coach. I was there with Crown Prince Dipendra who was to be their future prince (he meant king). It was a real experience for me. I was just starting out as a coach, I was in Dubai also for two years. Nepal was to coach the national team, the contract was good, financially it was good. He was the King’s son, he had to marry some other bird. I had better be careful here or I will be having a political war. “He (the Crown Prince) was one of my closest friends, he was head of their FA. I was there when the whole of the royal family was killed. He was my best friend, so he used to come back to London, we would meet and go to matches. When I went back over there, he was the guy I answered to. “There were two castes out there. He was forced to marry another girl but he didn’t want to. He was ordered by his parents to marry her when that was the last thing he really wanted to do. He wanted to marry someone else but he couldn’t … like the usual crap. So what did he do? He killed them all and then blew his own brains out.” What!? Really!? “I never really felt like my life was at risk,” he said. “It came out of the blue when it happened. I got out of there about three days after and I have never been back.” Dynamite! Utterly irrelevant to anything, but who cares, it was a great story and it least it wasn’t D-Day meetings or contracts or players being lined up or being called a c*** or so f****** slimy. Until, as it was my turn to transcribe the press conference quotes that day and Tibet had been my idea, I thought I’d do a bit of research. Joe Kinnear managed Nepal in 1987. Dipendra of Nepal allegedly killed his family on June 1 2001. In 2001, Joe Kinnear was manager of Luton Town. See. That’s almost funny – almost – although I’m struggling to raise a smile today. There was no role for Kinnear at Newcastle in 2008. There was no logic to it. He was close to Ashley, apparently, and evidently still is. In a season of humiliation, he was a magnet for more of it. He won five of 26 matches. He described a referee as “Mickey Mouse”, was sent off from the touchline, called Charles N’Zogbia “Charles Insomnia” and helped untether a flailing club. He tarnished a great institution. There is no role for Kinnear at Newcastle in 2013. There is no logic to it. If there is a need for a new approach to transfers, as Kinnear has implied, then a man who has not been involved in frontline football for four years and was barely involved then, is not it. If there is a need for anything, the only thing that springs to mind is Ashley undermining Alan Pardew. They’re having a laugh. Almost.

Mate just sent this - Jesus He leaves a trail of destruction when he departs clubs, in whatever format Wimbledon - Left in 1999, Wimbledon relegated in the following season – 2000, Wimbledon moved and ceased to exist in 2003 Oxford - Left in 2001, Oxford relegated at the end of that season – 2001, never recovered and relegated from league in 2006 Luton - Left in 2003, Luton relegated in 2006, again in 2007 and relegated from the league in 2008 Notts Forest - Left in 2004, Forest relegated at the end of the season Newcastle - Left in 2009, Newcastle relegated at the end of the season You can’t lay everything at his doormat but the record is pretty striking nonetheless.