Ronaldo

It randomly came on a couple of summers back at the water park next to PortAventura in Salou. Made the entire holiday.

Easily the greatest Ted character, behind the man himself and Father Jack.

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KO.

Careful. I'm just secure enough within myself to recognise another one of the genetic lottery's high rollers when I see one.

Thanks for that. Didn't we establish 2 years ago that he was nicknamed The Buffalo, not Bull?

"Andy Gray & Richard Keys Laughing At Women's Football" Every single goal, man. Both keepers.

It's nuts, isn't it? Every single goal looks like a match fix.

I'm sure he had that with him too, like. He has a name for it.

Oliver Holt is one of the worst journalists out there. Go to twitter to see his biased/clueless tripe about Hamilton, Button, Federer and Haye.

Vuckic. Ferguson also looks like he could be a player.

Same here. Even on appearance alone, taking all actual ability and putting it to one side: Pardew is a decent-looking, well groomed silver fox who wears a full suit on matchdays. Bruce looks like a 60-year old lesbian who's had a frying pan to the nose wearing a shell suit two sizes too small. I reckon Brucey's got the biggest kite in the public eye, like. It's growing at a rate even exceeding Ian Beale's. I think I deserve an assist for that one, like. In all seriousness though, there's a lot of truth to what's being alluded to here. Pardew's an impressive looking, smooth talking fella. It helps when it comes to dealing with suave Frenchmen unaccustomed to physically repugnant monstrosities like Bruce.

Yes, that too, Ethi.

I look at Steve Bruce and feel immense pride that AP is our manager.

It ridiculous to make comparisons predicated on Nile fucking Ranger. Did Sir Bobby deal 'badly with personality clashes?' Because i'm telling you now, he'd have had a cunt like Ranger out the door this summer. Souness was ultimately driven by his ego and emotions. Pardew's a far more intelligent manager from what i've seen from him so far.

Phil Jones rebuffed Arsenal. Even still Phil Jones is not what they need/needed. Indeed.

Sharp as a sponge, man.

I'm sure Pardew's the main reason the lad can't strike or head a ball.

Piss off.

Are they over the hill at 28? We have 2 players roughly at that age who were once able to play CM effectively, but no longer can.

He's definitely not a winger that's for sure. It would be retarded to stick him there. He can't play CM for s*** either. He's a better CM than Kevin Nolan, that's for sure.

And when was he overweight? You obviously have something against the lad.

Quite disappointing that one poster mentions 2 years, and 3 posters jump on the bandwagon without a hint of real insight.

Overweight and unfit? When did this happen?