Ronaldo

Bloody hell. Retire.

Smith against Stevenage was far worse.

Fair play to the lad. Even I often refuse to wait in a chip shop queue, and I order far more than two lots.

On the subject of LBs, I watched that Inzaguirre play for Celtic the other night. He basically looked a patch on Enrique. I'd stay clear.

One that springs to mind - not an NUFC player, is Cisse when he was at Liverpool. He walked into a garden centre near Winsford that my mate worked at, and asked if they sold parrots, becoming pretty incensed when they explained that they didn't. Pretty sure he spat out the tagline too.

The man asked if anybody else has any stories. Let's delve into that.

I think that performance at Stevenage ended Wayne's career here.

I'm sorry, but this is f***ing funny.

You'll have to do better than that, man. Yorkie knows me far too well.

Not if it's £1.5m we haven't.

No offence to Yorkie but he was just saying yesterday that he preferred Shola and Lovenkrands to Bobby Zamora. He's no expert on strikers.

Leon Best will get 20 goals with that lot behind him.

Are you having a laugh? City in part got 4th spot because they cut their losses with the brainless b******. More to do with Silva and Yaya Toure while having no challenge from Liverpool than getting rid of Adebayor. And no challenge from Spurs. Why you think they'd finish 4th with Emmanuel Offside is beyond me.

Are you having a laugh? City in part got 4th spot because they cut their losses with the brainless b******.

Anelka on the bench. Realistic.

Yep. Well away.

Chelsea are OK. Roman will ruin them, though.

Serious legs in midfield and off the striker. Bobby had the right idea.

I don't want 'El-Arabi' in my team.

This is what I want: Barton Tiote N'Zogbia Jonas Ben Arfa Best Or: Jonas Tiote N'Zogbia Ben Arfa New Striker Best We'd p*ss the league. And it would only take 2 or 3 additions to the first Xl.

Bramble, not the simpleton.

He has properties in Wilmslow and Medburn.

He's a better player now. A far better player.

Some fella was on the radio in February was talking about Jonas, Ben Arfa and N'Zogbia all marauding forward at SJP. He was a simpleton, but he made sense. I could see it, and it was beautiful.