Ronaldo

And the alien judge is shooting the taxman.

I keep seeing Alien Judge. Golly, an alien judge.

Because as one of the top teams in Germany, they could be confident they could replace him with someone of equal or better quality. As we're lingering in the second division in England, this would be a brilliant signing - especially when you look at our other options in comparison to our rivals in this league. They finished 8th last season. And why would they replace him with equal quality? What's the point in that? People don't half love to exaggerate, like. Liverpool finished 8th last season and Chelsea 10th, are they not 'top teams'? And if he is not viewed as a first team player this season, they'd only need to replace him with a back-up player. Hence my comment on 'equal quality'. Liverpool and Chelsea aren't Wolfsburg, though. For a start they've finished 15th, 11th and 8th in the last 5 years alone. If that's a 'top team' in a league that has 10-25 point gaps at the top of it I've got a fucking bridge to sell you.

That's a stupid thing to say. He's incredibly injury prone and obviously represents a waste of money but he's a good footballer. Far better than some who've appeared for us in midfield this season and last.

Because as one of the top teams in Germany, they could be confident they could replace him with someone of equal or better quality. As we're lingering in the second division in England, this would be a brilliant signing - especially when you look at our other options in comparison to our rivals in this league. They finished 8th last season. And why would they replace him with equal quality? What's the point in that? People don't half love to exaggerate, like.

Why are they willing to let him go if he's a proven Bundesliga player? Just asking.

One of only two goals he got for us not from the penalty spot. Took Jack fucking Colback a few months to better that. Barton's so overrated among our lot, like.

Which leagues are way better than this one?

Perez isn't a striker, though, to be fair.

Suggests that he will give something different to the starting 11 for me. Yep. Which isn't tough to figure out, to be honest. We've got nothing else like him in the squad.

Regarding the temperament, he'll grow up. Especially now that we've got a proper manager he can respect and learn from. I strongly doubt he'll ever be 'great' but he's certainly good at holding the ball up and bringing others into play and he will get goals. Perhaps not enough to to justify the team being built around him but his finishing will only improve too. Not getting the no.9 shirt is the best thing that could've happened to him this summer. He'll play both without pressure and the incentive to earn it over time. We'll see a better NUFC with him available again.

At best it should be our 3rd priority anyway. We need a player for LW far more, for a start.

What in the fuck?

That just looks fucking ridiculous, man.

Honestly I just love wingers and I hate it when that position in the side is filled by talentless grafters who knock the ball sideways 5 yards and then get praised for not being wasteful in possession. Fuck it.

Many of us wanted him in the side when he was sacked off by Pardew. He was quality for us in the Championship and wasn't bad when we went up. Fucking ridiculous to think he only spent a year here.

A win/loss makes so much difference in here it's ridiculous, like.

It's abysmal that, like. Remember the days of Lynam, Hansen, Brooking and Jimmy Hill. Murphy and Phil Neville ffs.

What would you play him as, then? He's certainly no winger. The sooner we get rubbish like him out of the team and start building for the future the better.

Janmaat's every bit as effective as Debuchy going forward. Debuchy was in a much better side, too. I'm not surprised his career's gone where it has because he was never a top-4 RB.

Aye, OK. They're both just not that good at defending.

I can see him doing very well this season, but I hope Rafa's curbed his tendency to react and lose his focus when roughed up a bit. It'll happen a hell of a lot in this league. He just has to rise above it, not get involved and stick it up them in the form of goals.

This is definitely the new 'Coloccini as a DM' like. It's an utterly fucking stupid suggestion, even discounting the fact our best player so far is a RW.

Staying on point there.

Aye. Mbemba, Ritchie and Gayle need to be protected. We don't have any replacements for them.