Ronaldo

misses a few games due to illness, cant think what might hint at him looking at his health like. Maybe the guilt's just got the better of him and he's taken his own retched life?

Perhaps he didn't score but got an assist instead I genuinely don't know which of you is more fucking weird.

Why does he need a kick up the arse though? His attitude's been spot on for ages.

CM is the answer.

I hope not.

So Arsenal - Palace is a local derby too? Give over.

How the hell is Crystal Palace v West Ham a local derby?

No one would offer us anything like what we paid for either.

Probably went something like this:

Let himself go since causing the death of his father, like.

They were seldom this negative when we were losing by 3 or 4 goals under Pardew every week.

He'll get that by Christmas at this rate.

Gayle's the Van Nistelrooj of this league.

Are you sure he wasn't on about Merson at the time?

Who the fuck is this cunt talking about Pardew? (bloke on Periscope, not Kaka) fwiw.

Gayle's fucking awesome.

Bombardaaa! What a fucking night.

Ergo, play both.

Oooooh Yorkie's retribution.

Dude, this is such a load of shit I don't know where to start.

I liked Viana a lot. He looked like he was going to be something special at times in his first season but it never quite materialised for him. I wish he'd stayed because under the right circumstances - ie with a box-to-box runner beside him in the middle - he could've been awesome.

Always used to like Nigel Martyn. Yeah good keeper at both Palace and Leeds. Steve Ogrizovic should probably have been capped in the late 80s too. Big Oggy was quality, like. Remember him making out of this world saves against Beardsley and Cantona in 93-94.

I'll always wish hell on earth for him. 5-1 against Crystal fucking Palace and he praises the performance.

Well I'm glad to hear that. Too many people I've spoken to, admittedly 30 or younger, are surprised when I talk about him being the last great English keeper. Tim Flowers would've made pretty much every England Xl since, too.

I think we've finally found a real-life analogy that doesn't work for NUFC, at all.