Ronaldo

Cuntflapp in the Mail at the start of October: "We didn't spend enough on players."

The manager of our footie team at uni, a British Indian lad, consistently used to go on about not wanting 'any dirty pakis on my team'. I can still remember the silence that struck the room the first time he said it. Crazy. Are you sure it was tongue in cheek? Maybe he genuinely hated Pakistanis. He - who looked about as Indian as anyone you'll ever meet, by the way - was constantly pushing this notion that he was white British, not Asian, and used racial slurs to do it. Ridiculous fucking idiot looking back.

The manager of our footie team at uni, a British Indian lad, consistently used to go on about not wanting 'any dirty pakis on my team'. I can still remember the silence that struck the room the first time he said it. Crazy.

A PL record for this season perhaps, not overall.

Basically.

Course he won't, man. Really ridiculous suggestion.

Messi and Van Nistelrooij?

Don't be so stupid, man.

I think a lot of people need to look up the definition of the word.

March aside, 2013 must've made Cisse want to Shisha himself to death.

When was that picture taken? I'm utterly convinced that's me parked up in the black car next to the red light.

It's one game, Neil. Before last night we'd lost once game in 90 minutes under Hodgson due to an absolute wonder performance from one of the best players in the world. We'll never pass teams off the park but if we can play at a good tempo with our best Xl we'll do fine.

Sounds like Shola to me.

Yeah, though he might not feel Nigerian. Pretty incredible for a non-Nigerian, granted.

Except when he's losing games for his team left, right and centre, which he's been doing since March.

What the fuck is wrong with you lot?

Crazy how much money David pisses away every week.

He's a keeper, playing in a pub league isn't the problem per se. It's the fact he plays for the best team by far in a pub league. Was poor last night though, no question. Ben Foster is the best English keeper for me.

Shearer probably suggested it to him on MoTD the other week.

Who suggested that?

It's ok, they'll just cheat their way to the finals, again. We need them to be there like I don't trust the likes of Cabaye, Debuchy, Remy and Ben Arfa to be motivated enough without a world cup to look forward to. You don't think much of any of them as people, then.

Fucking hell, Neil. Get a grip, man.

He's going to present a slideshow featuring Africans, with a subliminal "not a racist" message, then he'll say "the blacks, a great bunch of lads" and offer everyone a drink. http://www.fifpro.org/img/uploads/image/Red%20Card2-515.jpg "And as you can see here..." Look at his face.