Chris_R

Shola on the wing. I mean, really. I don't know what the question is, but I can fucking assure you this isn't the answer. I imagine Pardew's 'tactics', and it hurts to type those 2 words consecutively even with one in inverted commas, are to have Shola get into the middle to get on the end of our HOOOOOOFS that will undoubtedly coming. Quick question: When was the last time we actually outplayed anyone? I'm not bothered about results, you can outplay someone and lose, but when was the last time we really played a team off the park? Pardew apologists could trot out lines like "Well, there's no easy games in this league" but WE'VE been played off the park fucking loads (incuding by Brighton), quite often even last season we were outplayed but at least then we were rescued by individual brilliance at times that got us plenty of undeserved points. But I seriously cannot remember the last time we played a team and really gave them a good going over. It just doesn't happen, we don't even set out to do that. And considering the players Pardew has at his disposal, that's a fucking tragedy and for that alone Pardew should pack up his shit and fuck off. Also today if he plays Shola on the right of a 4-3-3 (Which from the semi-colons in the team line-up looks likely) then he's an imbecile of epic proportions. If you're going to try to play 4-3-3 you need the forward wide players on their opposite feet otherwise you're playing 4-5-1. And if you feel the need to play 4-5-1 against bloody READING at HOME you should be shot with shit. The only way to make that 'formation' (Again, hurts to even type that word) work would be to have Marveaux on the right and Shola on the left so they can both work as auxilary strikers. Stick Cabaye in the hole and Jonas in a defensive role. But that won't happen. And if we switch to 4-4-2 we're fucking doomed because there's nobody who can put a cross in on their preferred foot other than Debuchy and when you have to rely on a brand new fullback to put balls in you're basically fucked. Jonas would incomprehensibly be yet again deployed wide left despite being unable to cross with his left and unable to shoot with either foot. The only tiny possible way we could bail ourselves out if we switched to 4-4-2 would be if Marveaux went left and Jonas right. But neither are overly competent in those positions but at least we might be able to put a decent cross in once every 20 minutes. Whatever the result, and we might well win despite how we play becuase football's a funny game and Reading are shit, I can guarantee that if we do what I've listed above it'll be fucking dire to watch. Again. There's a million better ways to play and a million ways to give ourselves a better chance of a win with the players we have, I'm just enraged that Pardew constantly fails to even consider any of these options.

Fuck this, I'm going shopping.

Imaginary plan, perhaps. If Shola starts, Pardew needs his head kicked in.

Yeah, thanks for that. You might as well have posted it in fucking Martian.

Well we'll sign virtually nobody. We're not Man U or Barcelona ffs, why do you think anyone would come here? The league titles? The cups they'll win? Because they love Newcastle? Or because we offer them more money than their current employer? I'll give you a clue: It's ALWAYS the last point. So if someone offers more again, we're fucked. That's life, move on. Player's criteria are: - How much money are you going to pay me? - Can I realistically expect to win the league? - What chance of cup success have I got? - - - - - - Is it in London? (Yes, let's face it, it's a draw for many. Tough shit, suck it up lads. Whining won't help.) - - - - - - - - Nebulous shit that we think they should care about like "how much I like the stadium / are the fans passionate" etc but that really and quite rightly they're not going to give a toss about. Yet we still get annoyed when they pick another team because they can't see how great it would be to play for us. It's fucking retarded. WE love Newcastle, nobody else gives a shit. And nor should they. We're only special to us I'm afraid. Get over it.

Redknapp's a horrid cunt with a face like a melted welly, but his teams do play good football. And I wouldn't be terribly surprised to see QPR pull out of the shit, they've got enough time left and it's not as if they've got a talentless squad. There's enough decent players there to turn things round if he can get them motivated. Still, hope they get relegated. Them and Villa.

Football can just fuck off. Redknapp can fuck further off, the horrid, floppy-faced wankstain.

This, really. He's not a great defender and lacks pace. But he always gives 100% and has great delivery either via a good cross or shot. And that's something we're woefully short of outside of the first XI. If everyone was fit I'd not start Taylor, but he'd be on the bench ahead of loads of the rest that we've got.

This. Sissokho or M'Vila would be class. Looks like we have enquired about both. If Mbwia is interested he surely makes perfect sense. Captain material, can play all across the back and would cost the same if not less than bloody Tompkins. M'Vila looks more likely to be QPR bound, can't see us paying out another 8 mill. Why would anyone go to QPR. I'd consider it if it was a West Ham / Demba Ba-esque contract. Ie bucketloads of money and a free transfer clause if they go down.

Chasing 3 or 4 targets is a joke, tbh, as it means we're looking to sign one or two. You always look to sign more than you actually need. We need 3 or 4 new players, so we SHOULD be chasing 10-12 targets IMO.

Not really. Coloccini leaving on a free transfer to San Lorenzo resolves the situation, and is therefore a resolution as well. If anything, it's more of a resolution than keeping an unhappy player here who still wants to leave. That's unresolved.

I'd love to see that, but there's no way on Earth that Pardew will take Jonas off.

Seems that fence we bought must be fucking tiny.

This is just so shit. Been trying to formulate something coherent since this "broke", and not sure I've succeeded now, but it's about as close as I'm going to get. First off, the silence from the club / Coloccini is deafening. It's safe to say that if it was all bollocks, we'd have been told it was all bollocks. And very quickly. There's no way they'd just sit there going "Nah, we'll not say anything" if Coloccini was happy as Larry. Therefore, it seems there's substance to it and he wants out. So what next? We can't let him leave for free, as it would ruin us as a club. We're largely dependent on money in to finance money going out, and to replace Coloccini with someone of equal competence will cost £10m+. At this stage, with the season we've had so far and the personnel we've got here, if we leave ourselves with Taylor, Williamson and basically nobody else then we're properly fucked. Even if we get one more in, we're still fairly fucked as Taylor's a crock and Williamson's borderline incompetent. It's a recipe for another season in the Championship and I can assure you that most if not all of Tiote, Cisse, HBA, Krul and Cabaye will be off like a shot if that happens and we'll be set back by years. Therefore we have 2 options IMO: - Keep Coloccini unhappy at the club - Sell him for enough money to buy a replacement Now his market value, performances and contract length are enough to make him worth in the region of £10m (in my opinion), but the only club he wants to go to (allegedly) can barely afford 10p. So that leaves only one option, keep him here unhappy. It's far from ideal, but we simply cannot afford to let him go.

Should just make it 24 hours IMO and be done with it.

Agree entirely, which makes it all the more baffling that we pandered to his demands to play centrally. That was only ever done to put himself in the shop window so he could engineer a move under his release clause. If we'd have stuck him wide and played Cisse through the middle then not only would the team have looked better but Chelsea would probably never have wanted Ba either. We shot ourselves in BOTH feet with that one.

See, it happening this summer IS it happening all over again. We learn nothing, we never do. Sure, there's different people in charge now but surely there's someone at the club who pointed that out. Also, the year we went down was because we sold Given, N'Zogbia and Milner and completely failed to replace them with anyone of any quality whatsoever, and that was under Ashley's tenure. He's already demonstrated that he doesn't learn from his mistakes.

Ba managed to do it for half a season never mind 60 minutes. Ranger showed more in 45 mins than Shola has in his last 3 or 4 games. He's lazy and just utter s***. I don't dispute any of that. I just think it's fair to say that our problems run a lot deeper than Shola being at the apex of our frontline. Yes, Shola is sub-standard. There's no doubting that at all. But with a decent supply he could have caused some problems to Brighton today. However we ended up with Obertan and Sammy Ameobi on the wrong wings trying to create things, and a midfield where Abeid did virtually nothing at all. Williamson was terrible again, and our fullbacks never pushed up to support our attacks, perhaps at least in part because there weren't any attacks. We were rotten from front to back today, Shola included, but he wasn't the sole reason we lost or even IMO the main reason.

It's hard to actually dislike Shola because he comes across as a nice chap who is just playing for the club he supports, actually living the dream that all of us have. The problem is, he's about as good as most of us would be. Fucking terrible footballer 95% of the time. Immobile, slow, ponderous. That said, Pele would have looked crap today. The service, if you can even call it that, was non-existant and you can't expect anything of a striker if there's no balls being put into the box for him to attack. Shola's job today as the main striker was to convert chances, not create them from nothing. He wasn't given any chances to put away, so I find it hard to make him a scapegoat for today's gutless performance.

Brighton fans singing "You're getting sacked in the morning". Sadly they're wrong.

Because he's playing on his natural side. Ferguson often manages a few good deliveries from the left as well. It's not rocket science, yet Pardew fails to grasp it week in, week out.

So our best attempt on their goal was from a Brighton player's knee. Says everything about us.

Awful dive / reaction. Still, it gets that muppet off the pitch.

Why's our fucking clownshoes manager got right-footed Obertan on the left and left footed Sammy Ameobi on the right? Has he got no concept of the role of a winger? 45 minutes of hoofball coming up to Ranger and Shola.

How long do we keep saying that we hope he can turn it round? I mean, we all do. I don't think anyone cares who is in charge as long as we do well and win. But it's getting ridiculous now and he's showing no signs whatsoever of learning from his mistakes.