Chris_R

I would hunt down and kill Pardew if that happened. Sadly, I think it's entirely possible that he's mad enough to attempt such a thing.

Cisse can play perfectly well as a lone striker. He just struggles as the only fucking attacker. There's a massive difference.

18) Given that there's some truth in our alleged moves to bring the giant Andy Carroll back to Newcastle, and accepting the statistical proof that we already play more long balls than any other team in the league, how much can we expect the quality of football to improve next season? That's it, I'm done. For tonight.

16) Rate your own performance as manager of Newcastle United this season on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the best. 17) Given the opportunity to play through this season again, what things that were within your control would you do differently?

Love this. Yeah, I got bored of forced civility by number 10. I'll add a couple more though: 11) In your first full season with us we finished 5th last year with a team largely recruited by the excellent Graham Carr. What part did you play in them achieving this and how do you feel your coaching and tactics have improved those players this campaign, now that you've had time to get them to play the way you want them to? 12) You said in the press that the reaction to the Sunderland result was hysterical. What would have been a proportionate response to the turgid, cowardly, horrid display that our team full of international players put out at home to our local rivals? 13) Modern football regularly requires teams at all levels to play two games a week. Why do you feel that Newcastle United are uniquely not equiped to do this and who do you think is to blame for that? 14) You've said that you'll accept any finishing position this season just to get over the line. As manager of Newcastle United, what finishing position would you feel is low enough to count as gross managerial incompetence given the strength of our squad and those of the other teams in the league? 15) Given the size of this club and the strength of the playing staff, what should Newcastle fans realistically expect this team to be able to achieve in the league?

1) Why, given the quality of our offensive players, do we persist with worrying about what the opposition might do to us rather than making them worry about what we might do to them, especially given both the spectacular lack of success playing that way this season and how dreadful it is for supporters to watch? 2) Why do we rely on scoring goals from exceptional individual play and never commit more than 3 or 4 men to our attacks, when the only time this has ever worked in the past was with a forward triumverate of Ba on the left, Cisse central and Ben Arfa on the right, a setup that you spectacularly failed to recreate even once this season and a plan that you have persisted with even with the prolonged or permanent absence of 2/3s of that strike force? 3) Who is responsible for our players not being able to manage to start 30 games a season without being tired when Chelsea's seem to be managing 40-50, and what are you planning to do about this going forward? 4) Given that you play such a negative, containing game and put next to no focus on applying persistent pressure on the opposition, how do you intend to convince our more attack minded players that their footballing future lies with Newcastle United? 5) Why is Cabaye being deployed as a defensive midfielder next to Tiote when he is infinitely more effective further up the pitch? 6) Irrespective of when in the match it happens, every time we go a goal up we then seem to spend the rest of the game attempting to hold on to what we have rather than ever try to get a couple more. Why do you think this is the best approach? 7) I've noticed repeatedly that whenever we come out of a match with an unsatisfactory result, you talk in the press conferences afterwards about how we need to be more disciplined and have better shape, but you never mention that we should be attacking better or creating more chances. Why do you never consider the attacking deficiencies within our play when analysing our defeats? 8) What portion of coaching time is spent on attacking play vs defensive play, and how well do you think this is working? 9) "Attack is the best form of defence". Discuss. 10) For all the times that we've needed something on the pitch and Shola Ameobi has been the answer, what the merry fuck did you think the question was?

For the sake of my F5 key, can we just sack this cunt please?

Shola on the left wing is my over-riding memory of his tenure here.

I agree that this is worse than Souness. We had lower expectations then anyway, we had a decent though unremarkable squad. However I genuinely believe this team is the best we've had in a decade, yet we're going to get a brush with relegation (or worse) out of it, which is just so sickening. And the horrid, horrid ways he sets the team up. Results are more important than style, which is why last season we tolerated the shit football. This season our luck's run out and we're not getting the results either. He simply must go.

If we keep Pardew over the summer, we'll lose half the squad. We simply have to get rid of him.

Re: Stability: Change for the sake of change is bad. Change to get rid of a negative, awful manager is a perfectly sensible course of action. Must go.

Commentators saying how if the ref saw the replay he'd give a penalty. Erm, no. If he saw the replay he wouldn't give anything. Clearly got the ball.

Obviously I hope we win above all else, and will take no delight in us getting beat. However like many I fear I know what's going to happen today. The team Pardew has put out is not far removed from what I'd pick in his position, but where we differ is how we'll utilise the players. He'll go for a rigid formation where we only attack with 3 or 4 men at once, meaning we're predictable and easy to defend against. He'll rely on a moment of genius from one of the front 3 to win us the game or get us a goal rather than pressurising the opposition and getting men forward. Our defence will sit deep whilst we attack, as will our two sitting midfielders. Two. Against fucking WBA. So when we attack, we'll see the following (I've pushed Debuchy up further than Haidara due to his natural predisposition to bomb forward, irrespective of managerial instruction): http://oi36.tinypic.com/2zrl20g.jpg Tbh looking at it, I've probably pushed Taylor and Yanga-Mbiwa further up than Pardew will, he'll have them a good 10 yards further back than that. When any decent, attack-minded manager rather than our incumbent coward would push the defence up, have only one sitting midfielder, and 2 midfielders trying to get into the box with the wide forwards actually offering some width whilst still being in a position to support the attack. If the ball goes wide, the corresponding fullback will be in a good position to overlap. Something like this: http://oi36.tinypic.com/35338z7.jpg I've watched many matches over the last week or 2 involving good attacking teams, and they all push the back line up to half-way and do something like the above. I urge everyone to watch other teams as well. Contrast that with how we play today and it's heartbreaking that we're so negative when we've got such a good team out there. There's a massive difference between attacking with 3-4 players and attacking with 5-6 players in how easy it is to defend against and how many options you give yourself when attacking. Anyway let's hope we somehow sneak a win. Also personally I wouldn't play Perch, though I've no problem with him as such. I'd play Anita instead and drop Sissoko back to DM which I think is his more natural position, with Anita up supporting Cabaye in the AMC roles.

Can't wait to see what dross we get served up with tomorrow. Irrespective of the result, it'll be 7 or 8 behind the ball at all times with us relying on Ben Arfa, Cissoko and Cisse to unlock the entire opposition for 90 minutes.

Pardew just never learns. Every match it's: - defensive, rigid formations - Attack with no more than 3-4 men at a time - Keep the defence back. We never push the defence up to compress play. We never have 6 men attacking at once like all the good teams do. We're predictable, awful to watch and lack any movement or creativity at all. Pardew is yet again pinning his hopes on Ben Arfa coming back and doing the work of 3 forwards so we carry a threat without sacrificing his precious defensive borefest setup. It's sickening to think that we're so reliant on HBA being in the side just to look competent in attack, rather than looking competent without him and looking excellent when he's fit.

So what does EPL stand for in this context then?

Giving our fans more coverage for what they did after the game deflects attention from how s*** the players were during it and lessens / deflects any pressure on that coward Pardew.

Just in from work. Has this cunt been sacked yet?

We were quite long-ball under Hughton. Barton with his diagonal punts up to Carroll, knocking them down for Nolan. I didn't mind though, as it worked. There was no 3-4 months of exciting free-flowing football under Pardew last year though. We had a period where we got some good results, but it was magnificent play from our forward triumverate rather than any kind of tactical masterstroke from the manager. He just got lucky that 3 great players hit a purple patch at the same time. You can't base your tactics around that and expect long-term success.

You mention windows and look who shows up. The most relevant windows here are the ones being licked by the handful of people voting "No" at the top of this page.

JUST FUCK OFF. Work on our shape? Make sure we're solid? You utter fucking cowardly shitstain. Just pack your bags and fuck off. We need to learn how to break teams down ffs, get more players forward, look threatening. Not be solid and attack with 3 fucking players, you cunt. Look at the results. It's NOT WORKING. If you keep doing the same thing, it will continue to NOT WORK. The occasional victory that we sneak does not vindicate your awful approach to tactics. You are holding back a good team by being an abject coward.

Voted. Pretty easy decision. OK he's smart and presentable and comes over as intelligent, but he's far far too defensive in setup and he's shown no signs whatsoever that this is something that he'll ever contemplate changing. Utter coward, and leading a bloody good team to the bottom of the league. It's disgusting.

Look, when we're needing to identify who is braindead and beyond hope and who isn't, it needs saying.

You sir, are a cunt. Week's ban for this kind of behaviour, shirley?

Because we're stretched and too deep. When one of our 3 designated attacking players loses the ball, there's a mass of space for the opposition to attack into which means we get pulled all over. By pushing the defence higher up, we give the opposition less available space to play in if they do get the ball unless they want to play over the top of us and I can't see that working too often with the pace and athleticism of Yanga-Mbiwa. We should attack as a team and defend as a team. We don't.