Chris_R

Yep. Offer them 12 mil and Perch. If they want £12m cash, they'll probably want £13m + Perch.

Yeah, but fantastic spirit only got us 12th in the league. Not knocking 12th, I'm happy with that, but if we want to push on maybe spirit needs replacing with skill?

Look, if it's about paying up his contract then I'm sure we can have a whip round to help?

And then he came back with this: http://www.buzzingolf.co.uk/files/2010/04/TaylorMade-R9-golf-club.jpg

Yet to kick in? The market is yet to open, never mind kick in. Opens July 1st. Of course clubs can reach agreements before then, but the actual transfers can't be completed until July.

This Liverpool fan probably knows nothing about Henderson save that he's young, plays in midfield and has a cap for England. There's no way on earth he's worth anything even approaching £18m.

Probably all they've got left after spunking £18m on Henderson. Sorry, got to say that again: £18m on Henderson. Bahahahahahahahahahaha.

Rather than leave for another club he might be happy to rot in the reserves for 5 years, doing the bare minimum training whilst pissing about in his private life with the money we pay him.

I was partly being deliberately contrary, and think you're almost certainly right, but after all my years of supporting this club I don't think anything would surprise me anymore.

He said that? Or just a hunch? We wouldn't be going for Zoggy if he didn't want to come here IMO. We're in for Gameiro and he doesn't want to come here. Owen came here and didn't want to be here. Wouldn't be without precedent really.

For me, Hughton was sacked when we were 12th and Pardew took over, sold our best player for £35m, got no replacements, and lead us to 12th by the end of the season. I think that's how it was anyway with regards to league positions, might be wrong, sure someone will correct me. But Pardew seems to me to have done about as well as Hughton but minus Carroll, which to me indicates he's been at least as good a manager as Hughton. I also like Hughton's approach to things, how he wants us to play good attacking football and how he's keen to get players in with pace and skill. I was as angry as anyone when Hughton went, still don't think he deserved to be sacked, but I do think Hughton is a better manager. Maybe not massively better, but better all the same.

I just assumed the "scoring" being referred to had something to do with recent tabloid accusations. But then I didn't really think or care enough about it to look into it at all because however you look at it it's not really funny at all.

No shit, Shrelock. Sarcasm not really your strong point, is it?

Long played 54 games in the Championship last year? Bloody hell, he'll be knackered. But touché with regards to "points taken". Yes Shola played less, but I really can't see Long improving us to the level we want to be at.

Let's not get carried away about Long's scoring record. He's just had his best season, getting as you say one in 2, but even Shola managed that in the Championship. Not slating Long, but scoring one in 2 at that level isn't necessarily going to improve our squad.

Why? Because it's like saying "If I can't get a PS3 then I'll just buy a Nintendo Entertainment System". It's ridiculous. There's hundreds of thousands of professional footballers out there, surely we can find someone better that Shane bloody Long. Where's the XBox 360s or even the Nintendo Wiis? Plan B can't really be Shane Long, and if it is we really need to have a word with ourselves.

I'd genuinely rather stack £10m in £5 notes up in a big pile, stick a Newcastle shirt on it and play the resulting creation up front than pay that kind of money for Keane or Carlton fucking Cole. It would cause more problems for the opposition in the penalty area, create more goal threat, and as a bonus we wouldn't have to pay it any wages either.

And even then we'd probably pass them if they were still warm.

Why the fuck would they buy Henderson or even more ridiculously Cattermole? Be astonished if either of those transfers come off. That said though, they did spend £35m on Carroll so these kind of bonkers Liverpool/NE teams transfers aren't entirely without precedent.

Problem is, by the time Owen moves to another club (If indeed he doesn't just pack in after Man U) is that he'll be old enough for people to excuse his shitness on the fact that he'll be what, 32? They'll conveniently forget that he's played less football than I have in the last 3 years so should be fresh as a bloody daisy.

The man is just a massive, massive penis.

We paid those, the feckin midget cripple Aye, but since we were paying that much NI we should have sent the fucker down the RVI and made him sit and wait in A&E with everyone else.

That's like me saying I don't want to fuck Natalie Portman, I'm sticking with the wife.

Well the government won't have made much from the £12k per week NI. Would barely cover that cunt's medical bills.

Or maybe I didn't make it up.