brummie

Yes. Strange club. I suspect the only reason they haven't signed Harold Shipman is because he's dead.

Here's another one. From our last 38 league games: P 38 W:8 D:9 L: 21 F:24 A:59 Points: 33 24 goals scored in 38 matches. Fucking hell. Incredible. Also, worth noting, in September, this genius manager was given a new, improved four year contract.

Because they have a tool like Ashley at the top of the club. Is the correct answer. Mind you, at least your tool is interested enough to go to matches occasionally. Ours isn't. The bloke started great but in the last four years has been significantly worse than Ellis. Ellis, despite having cashed out 9 years ago and being 90 years old and barely able to stand any more, still goes to every match, home and away. Lerner probably only watches our matches on telly if he's got no Big Bang Theory box set to watch instead. Mind you, in a way I don't blame him. it's about as much fun as being repeatedly punched in the cornea. No offense brummie but I doubt anyone could careless weather the cunt showed up or not. It's just a case of two negligent owners who are happy to rip out the heart and sole of local institutions. True. It isn't just about him not turning up, it's just symbolic of his degree of "couldn't give a fuckness". Two great examples of people running clubs without giving one tenth of one single shit for the fans.

And it is actually worse than that, as we are, I believe, the lowest scorers in any of the major European leagues.

Because they have a tool like Ashley at the top of the club. Is the correct answer. Mind you, at least your tool is interested enough to go to matches occasionally. Ours isn't. The bloke started great but in the last four years has been significantly worse than Ellis. Ellis, despite having cashed out 9 years ago and being 90 years old and barely able to stand any more, still goes to every match, home and away. Lerner probably only watches our matches on telly if he's got no Big Bang Theory box set to watch instead. Mind you, in a way I don't blame him. it's about as much fun as being repeatedly punched in the cornea.

Please, please, please, if there is a higher being, make this end soon. Please, I can't stand any more of it. First time six league games in a row without scoring in our 141 years. That's a brand new record to add to all the other shit ones. 10 points from the first four games, then just 12 points from the next 57, and 7 goals in 19 games. Then there's this: In just his first season: Worst ever start to a season Highest number of goals conceded. Biggest ever league defeat. Ever. Biggest number of goals conceded without reply (16). Highest number of home defeats. (9) First side to get beaten over two legs by a fourth tier side. Second season: Highest number of home defeats (10) Equalled record for lowest number of points in a PL season (record set by McLeish two seasons before). Third season: Highest number of minutes without scoring a goal. Lowest goal tally after 20 games. Lowest points tally in a calendar year Longest period without scoring in front of The Holte. Managerial statistics for us: P113 W34 D26 L53 Lost just under 50% of his matches with us. Last week, CEO speaks up for this first time: blaming Paul is a "false narrative", it's not his fault, we're "building a team around Paul, to help him" Total and utter head in the sand, with a gigantic "fuck you" to the fans. Sickmaking.

Fuck Bournemouth, even we managed to beat them the other week. they'd rested 6 players, mind.

Sorted that for you.

Six league games in a row without scoring. For the first time EVER. Which, being as we were formed in 1874, makes that a 141 year record smashed, effortlessly. We won't score next week, either. Still, the new CEO (who is the same bloke who was previously commercial boss at Arsenal and said at the time that there were other things to be proud of beyond winning, like having "world class sponsors") was on the telly last week saying to sack Lambert would be wrong, a "false narrative" and that his job isn't under threat. There's no level of humiliation Lerner will not put up with.

He looks about 45 years old.

His 11th club, including loan seasons. He's only 25, too.

It wasn't until I just looked at this thread that I remembered you haven't got a manager, it seems like ages since Pardew went (although it obviously isn't). I do wonder, though, when things go this quiet on a manager front if you're not actually being softened up for something really underwhelming happening.

Hope it's a big un. only joking, obvs

It is a surprising turn of events. Think he's the loyal type, plus the club spent the first three years he was with us nursing him through horrible injuries. Not too sure I'd have harnessed my career to the spluttering wreck which is Villa this season (I am reluctant to harness my free time to it, even), but it is nice to see a bit of loyalty when the league is full of Scott Sinclair or Wayne Bridge types.

Very well taken I don't know how to react to scoring twice in the same game. I feel a bit like Nelson Mandela when he came out of prison, struggling to adapt to a changed world.

It really is a weekend of FA Cup shocks.

Crikey, that was a belter. "We're Aston Villa, we score when we want" sing the fans, ironically

What a fool. Why a fool? He's trying to win the assist league. I am pretty sure he'll have zero assists this season so far.

class that like. Meanwhile back in Newcastle we're pissing and moaning about people holding up an A4 piece of paper. Bit OTT given recent beheading events, mind.

What a fool.

Rumours Paul Allen (the Microsoft one) in talks to buy us. PLEASEMAKEITTRUEPLEASEMAKETHISHORRIBLESTHITHAPPENINGFORANYLONGER Will clearly turn out to be nonsense, and we'll get bought by some local bloke who has mortgaged himself up to the hilt.

Is he really only 50? He looks about 10 years older.

First four years, he was great. At least we thought he was, but we didn't know how closely to the edge he was leading us financially. At the start, he'd always be over for matches (easy when you've got your own jet, I suppose), but also at away matches, too. He would turn up at Scunthorpe on a tuesday night in the league cup. He had one of the board members, General Krulak, start posting on the main forums. He used to tell them how they were there through thick and thin. We heard how Randy had a Villa tattoo on his ankle. He totally "got us". Then towards the end of the Houllier year, he lost interest over night. A lot of people have said it is to do with his divorce, and he then hooked up with a new woman who didn't like his football distraction. At the same time, said board member, after four years of posting on the forums all the time, just disappeared without a word. At that point, the spending stopped, and when i say stopped, i mean the brakes were really slammed on. The wage bill became the most important thing. We're constantly told how we can't compete with other clubs on wages now. We wanted Lukaku on loan to play alongside Benteke, for example, but couldn't afford his wages. So he went to Albion instead. We couldn't compete with Albion on wages, FFS. Albion. Then he had some sort of brainfart and appointed Alex McLeish. Something I will never, ever understand. It is up there with 9/11 as one of those things that make me think, "I still can't fucking believe that happened". Since then it has been all austerity and misery. Plus a huge serving of stupidity. Delph and Vlaar allowed to reach last year of contract, for example. Putting up with Lambert delivering at the very least 6 periods of results so bad that they would have got any other manager sacked, but he is still untouchable. After four league games at the start of the season, he gave Lambert a new four year contract. Four fucking games, one of which was at home to you where we didn't manage a single shot on target and you had 65% possession. Also, we played another game in that spell, at home to Orient in the league cup. We lost. And failed to score. So, really, it isn't very impressive. Oh, and at the start of the season, he said he'd sell us. He made this statement, which is just fucking nuts, it is so weird. Ellis was a cunt who ran the club like a corner shop. Lerner started very well but overnight lost interest. In a way, Ellis was like the Tories. He was a cunt, but you knew he was a cunt and would shaft you. With Lerner, we expected more.

This just made me laugh. https://twitter.com/LabattsAndLime/status/556492766679928832

Yeah, but it was a stupid fucking idea which nobody was going to get behind. "Don't go to your seat till the eighth minute" to protest Lerner's 8 years in charge. Flawed on three counts. One, the first four years were decent. Two, people have paid 40 quid a pop, eight minutes is a lot to miss (well, yes, it should be, I mean, but actually is not, on account of watching us this season being like HAVING SOMEONE PUNCH YOU IN THE EYEBALLS FOR 90 MINUTES). Three, the club told everyone they'd turn off all the tellies in the concourse to the Holte end which usually show the match as soon as it kicked off. Fucking stupid idea. Would your fans get behind a protest though if it was planned right? Yes, if it was done properly, but this was a fucking shit idea from the off. I have just been looking in on a few villa forums. One of them has a poll showing 95.6% of people wanted him sacked. Look at this, from the Irish Sun this morning (the time since goal is clearly 90 minutes behind now). We are becoming a laughing stock and the chairman is just sat the other side of the Atlantic, watching his Two and a Half Men box sets instead of our matches, totally unarsed. Also, I am no Ellis apologist, but he's 95 years old, and still goes to every match home and away, 8 years after selling up. The current owner just does not give a single shit, the fucking idiot.