brummie

Some awful defending by the Dogheads here. Why the FUCK couldn't they defend like that last week?

Those big white panels on the back of your shirts. Wrong.

What is going on with Leighton Baines? He's got such a funny face and hair combo. Mid 1960s hair and a face that you'd expect to see on the bass player in some shit Scouse b-grade mersey beat group. I'd just like to say, I fucking hate this season and am gagging for it to stop.

I thought he looked consistently out of his depth last night, and contributed nothing. Then he got the chance to score, and took it exceptionally well. I also guess I shouldn't really be criticising expensive strikers who contribute nothing, but "just" score goals.

To be honest, you could play them both in goal at the same time, and I still don't think the results would be satisfactory.

Whince though you may at the folly of signing a crooked player on loan, spare a thought for us, we forked out 8 million of your British pounds to sign the absolutely hat-stand mentalist permanently. :-(

If you're looking for teams that are on the slide, I reckon it is us, you, Blackburn and Blackpool It is as wide open as it has been for years, and nobody in a big batch of teams can be ruled out.

Wolves have a lot of spirit. You can add us to that list, though. Team hate the manager, manager hates the fans, fans hate the manager, zero spirit. We're at very real risk

Mind you, that Robin Van Persie's hearing must be terrible. Can't hear a whistle during a match, can't hear women saying "no". (apologies, but I've heard that one 100 times today, so am spreading the misery).

Every time they play Barca it's ridiculously one sided (i'm sure delusional Ash predicted Arsenal would go through when the draw was made?). I get that Barca are the best team in the world but how is it possible to have 0 shots on and off target in 90 minutes? that's a shocking stat. Also, Arsenal's football is nice to watch (in the PL), but sometimes, sometimes you have to realise that what you're doing is not working. Last night towards the end was certainly the time to think about sticking the bigger players up front and lumping the fucking thing at them (like you lot do so well with Crouchy**), but what do they do? The same thing they've been doing all night, which has got them nothing. ** I'm only joking, KD, don't want to open that one up again *wink*

It's all a bit predictable with Arsene these days. Whatever goes wrong, it is never, ever his or Arsenal's fault. The red card was iffy, but if Arsenal had played with a dozen players last night, they still wouldn't have won. Both before and after the red card, it was the most one sided match I have ever seen, so much so, that the camera panning to the Barcelona half of the pitch felt weird. A bit like when you move over and sleep on the unused side of the bed (assuming your bed partner is not there, obv), into the cold bit.

Was he ever going to be welcomed back into the fold at Villa though? I doubt it. There was a chance before this article, certainly more chance than there is now. For a start, Houllier's hardly looking like Sir Alex in the job security stakes. The guy is a fucking fruitloop. When he joined us, he made a raft of disparaging remarks about Man City. Fair enough ,if that was what he thought, but no need to cause such trouble. Now he's about to make a start for you, and he's doing the same about Villa. It is as if he's trying to impress people without having the intelligence to realise that that doesn't always have to mean slagging other people of - especially when you're only on loan till the end of the season! He's a child. I mean, "my team always won in training!" - it's the sort of thing schoolkids say The key thing in all of this is that whatever goes wrong, it is never Stephen Ireland's fault.

I bet anything you like, within two years he's playing in the MLS. Regardless of his opinions on anything he mentions in that article, it isn't the fact that he holds those opinions, it is the fact he's so stupid he thinks it is ok to go blathering them out to a journalist. Talk about burning your bridges.

Oh,. and "I was the best player against Chelsea"? I was at the match, and if you think aimlessly jogging around two yards off the pace for ninety minutes whilst continually looking exasperated (a bit like Petrov, come to think of it) is a man of the match winning performance, then you're off your head.

I told you. He's absolutely fucking mental. "Boo hoo, it took me over an hour to get to training", poor little thing on his 70k a week. That "I was the best player in training" line is exactly the same one he used when he came to us. It is always, always someone else's fault with Ireland.

3000 of them forked out to go up there and watch that shite. I don't blame them. I'd be fucking livid. 3000, you wish Took 4000, sold 3000.

3000 of them forked out to go up there and watch that shite. I don't blame them. I'd be fucking livid.

Eh? I thought it was 35,000,000 See what i did there?

Who knocked you out, again? *whistles saucily*

Beye's training with Warnock and the kids, for being a tit. Hello hello hello, what's the story here? Warnock and Beye are, apparently, whingeing cunts, so have been training with the reserves. Look at that line up tonight - a junior school kid at right back and a midfielder at left back rather than bring those two tosspots back.

Oh, look, there's a David Attenborough thing on BBC2.

Beye's training with Warnock and the kids, for being a tit.

I can not believe we're playing the fucking kids tonight. Really, really disappointed. I was going to go to this match, and fucking glad I didn't bother now.

Newcastle - Watford, 1986. 2-2 draw.

First and foremost, above absolutely everything - the superfluous use of the term "the football club" by people involved in the game. "My role here is to bring stability to the football club, and win matches for the football club, to move the football club forward" It's like some spastic football industry person once heard someone use "the football club" instead of "the club" and thought "oooh, that sounds dead intelligent, I'm going to do that all the time, too", and now it has spread like fucking wildfire. I HATE IT. What do they think we'll think if they say "the club"? The bingo club? The Buena Vista Social Club? Some piece of golf apparatus. STOP SAYING IT FFS, STOP IT.