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Where do we go from here dear Colocho? If your stance is that everyone on this forum that thinks you're a complete and utter laughing stock needs to piss off, I think it would be faster for you to stop posting and just PM yourself.

I appreciate the fact that Colocho put in the work to go find a picture with some random Asian chick on it, just to add some "subtle" racial undertones. Attention to detail man, got to love it

How do they know about these things before we do?

If this keeps going he's gonna end up just coming back and "signing" for a national service team.

Piss off. Nah, that would be Dave. Colocho also does a bunch of other things, such as being a self-styled French Football expert and being the world's premier mounter of high horses. You an' all. I'm sorry, I apologize for leaving out the fact that you also run United for Newc... Oh, never mind.

Shane will probably be available, thankfully. Better than Raylor.

If the quotes in there are true though, then it looks like they intend to hold onto him until/beyond the weekend (at least), which probably rules him out of signing before the derby. I don't think anybody was really expecting that this apparent huge row with his club would be resolved by Saturday.

Advanced talks between Park Chu-Young and Lille break down. Oh come on you cunts, please just sign him.

That's really just NUFCBlog's opinion on the situation. Might as well be an editorial. We're not any more or less likely to sign the lad than we were yesterday.

Nah, that would be Dave. Colocho also does a bunch of other things, such as being a self-styled French Football expert and being the world's premier mounter of high horses.

It's not as if this is some long drawn-out transfer saga We found out two days ago.

He's coming eventually. Has a club ever successfully pulled through with threats to have a player "rot in the reserves?" It's in the best interest of both parties for them to take our offer. Until then we can get along with Ba and Shola.

I think there's a fair amount of incompetence mixed in with the naivete. That's not to say that the transfer market isn't a complex place but you need to have someone who knows what they are doing fronting the negotiations. I really doubt that Llambias is up to it if the deal is not straightforward. When you add in the other stuff you hear such as the logistics of the US tour and the strange story about the bonuses it all points in one direction. Ashley could solve quite a few problems if he binned Del and brought in a proper chief executive who knows how to work the transfer market and how to run a football club. And isn't so transparently a complete dickwad.

We're in no need of a cheap, shitty plan C. Just sign Pieters, Cissokho or M'Bengue. Now is really the time to spend some real money. It's actually an expensive, shitty plan C. You'd think the club would rather just persevere with Ferguson than sign Bridge.

Pardew saying we'll have a certain player this week is pretty much the kiss of death at this point

No left back for the Derby? Utterly inexcusable lunacy.

So far I've managed to get just about every single thing wrong

Pretty damn expensive for a panic signing.

We will bid less than Lyon want for Cissokho, piss around for a week then sign Pieters for a lower fee and less wages. nobody If you're going to be negative at least do it properly man!

His username is practically synonymous with "I'm a Mackem" tbh. He's not trying to hide.

awesome, you actually know what fergie thinks!!!!! I am staggered by the sheer pettiness of this post

Think Ferguson would prefer both Fletcher and Carrick, despite the occasional bad form of the latter.

Maybe the Pieters deal is being held up because we've realized we have a realistic chance with this guy? Hope that indecision doesn't result in us getting neither

Please just stop

We should respond to all our emails with rage comic faces tbf. Knowing Mike Ashley, this is probably what he already does. http://images.memegenerator.net/instances/500x/9411873.jpg