Pilko

If I walked past someone kicking the fuck out of Oliver Holt in the street I'd stop and cheer them on. What a reprehensible fucking doylem the bloke is.

He's ahead of where Gerrard is IMO but it's a low, low fucking bar. You're right in that they look a muddled mess going forwards (much like Villa) but he's at least tightened them up somewhat, managed to get a tune out of Iwobi who looked like the biggest waste of time ever and made a few sensible signings in Coady, Tarkowski, Onana. For what it's worth I don't think Lampard will ever do anything with Everton other than keep them in that 10th-17th zone, he'll likely run out of road at some point. But I don't see him making such a huge arse of it as Gerrard has.

It'll be a great job for someone tbf, all they need to do is do the basics and not play three strikers on top of each other without any supply line and they'll shoot Villa up the table.

Having Ings, Watkins, Coutinho, Bailey, Watkins and even midfielders like Ramsey and barely being able to get a goal out of them is fucking hilarious. Even though I always liked Lampard as a player much more than I did Gerrard, I had them in the same managerial bracket. Fast-tracked cos of their careers and out of their depth. And yet, it does seem like Tory Frankie is gradually learning and starting to make some inroads, by making Everton a bit harder to beat and getting some home form. Gerrard has spent loads of cash and regressed Villa a fair bit which to me is a great shame as it makes his chances of succeeding Klopp and making an arse of the Liverpool job that bit less likely.

Tyrone Mings he's as shit as his haircut is.

Got an Arsenal, Fulham and Leeds treble on the go. Took A.Pereira 9/1 for 2 SOT and toyed with what to double with - went Bailey 1 SOT for 20/1 rather than Watkins 2 SOT for 25/1 - fucking idiot that I am. Bailey nailed on to get hooked and he's been pap.

Villa are crap, Fulham look canny, much better than when we played them.

Another really nice cameo I thought. I hope he can get some starts in the second half of the season.

Every cloud though, turn the telly on now and see Huw Edwards on Bey Bey Sey One News at the famous Sunlin Glass Mewzeyum, putting Sunlin on the map.

Really pleasing that when the forward play isn't clicking we can absolutely nullify an opponent once we have the lead. Can't remember a more comfortable defence of a 1-goal lead at SJP in my entire life. Pretty sure Everton only had the DCL header from a corner which went about four foot over the bar in the entire game. One shot of any description in 90 minutes fuck me they're crap. A word for Gordon - if he's worth £50m then I reckon my five a side team would fetch at least £200m between us. Lots of running about, gurning, looking fuck ugly and kicking people. Overhyped shite.

In play daftie on Maupay and Fraser yellows 125/1

Class work lads, I got 20s on the Joe/Gana double.

Keeper might have got that if he had longer arms

Reckon this will be another performance in line with the Arsenal one last year. 3-0 home win.

I just got 20/1 for this, like it a lot. Bissouma card & Antony 2+ SOT at 18/1 my other major interest tonight. Think Bournemouth are a class price at around 17/10 too, got them with Sheff U and Burnley.

Trent card 13/2 seems hefty if he ends up playing tonight.

Neves and Zaha 2+ SOT 20/1 C.Doucoure and S.Cook carded 18/1 Couple of free fivers on BTTS in the 6 Championship games tonight & 3 corners/1 card per team in the same 6 games. Probably shove some pennies on the Betting Village card tips if they're decent too.

Shelvey might be a good option from the bench here if the game is tight.

Interesting. Seem to remember .com's match report of that Boro reserves games suggested he didn't look up to much. Still, if we think there might be a player there, no harm in signing him til the summer and if he's decent we can always extend. Hope it works out well for him.

I think this'll be a bit like last year's game. Midweeker under the lights, brilliant atmosphere, home win.

I'm personally not bothered about it either (or the wall pushing songs either like) but you'd imagine it's the sort of thing a Premier League team might not condone, given that they apparently all voted to cancel fixtures that weekend when the rest of the sporting world carried on. All of it is so called terrace humour, none of it worth releasing a statement about at all.

Always the victims, what a reprehensible set of cunts. I suppose they've got the perfect manager to represent their fanbase. Butt hurt and upset and releasing statements soon as you do a bit of wall-pushing singing but not a mention of their fans throwing coins or singing songs about the Queen being dead the other week. If I could pick two clubs to cease to exist tomorrow I'd pick Liverpool and Liverpool U23s.

They'd see an improvement with Ian fucking Beale as manager given how shit Stevie G is.

Why did this injury jinx never affect our shit players? How fucking annoying.