Pilko

With the money from their successive mid-table Premier League finishes and European jaunt they've assembled a collection of old shite.

Next goalscorer -1 That's a new one. I think I might bet on Newcastle to win x the square root of pi on Saturday if that's available.

You got very lucky with that late Valencia goal right at the end of the half I need them both to stay draws.

5 custard donuts for a pound. it's upmarket pilko! / (17 jam donuts for 32 pence at Morissons) [/pilko] it's actually 10 jam uns for a pound at Morrisons you prick edit: unless you go at night like I do and get them even cheaper

5 custard donuts for a pound. it's upmarket pilko!

I can remember the Chronicle's caption competition in early 2005/06 being a picture of Terry Mac talking to Souness about something, and the winning caption was summat like "Good news, boss. Craig Moore does exist - he was spotted coming out of a chippy in Sunderland" one of the better ones I can remember

7/14 still at the club, of which 2 barely have not featured at all this season and one with about 5 minutes of first team football is out on loan. So really, 4/14. I'll not have a bad word said about Fitz Hall, either. He was just the job for the last few months of the Championship season.

Silly £1 on Falcao and Llorente to both hit the woodwork @ 63/1.

Double on both Europa League games to be draws tonight @ 11/1. Won £25 on Chelsea last night too, 4/1 was too good a price to refuse.

I'd fap myself silly if we dropped Simpson, sadly it won't happen this season.

the real GG team

IMO it'll be Ferguson pushing for a starting spot, or as you say, the returning injured possibly sitting on the bench. Or, maybe it's just a rehash of the Krul news. French week, what a horrid idea. Our players will probably all knack each others cars in the car park by virtue of being shit drivers, training will be horrendously slack due to all of the players surrendering the ball and deciding not to tackle each other, and morale will be on the floor as everyone at the club will be unnecessarily rude to each other for seven days. Plus, frogs legs taste like shit.

I've got money on 2-0 shit.

This is always a favourite of mine when we're discussing Souness: http://www.thefreelibrary.com/Football%3A+Three+Toon+won%3B+DYER,+JENAS+AND+BOWYER+GIVING+SOUNESS+A...-a0126645048 Yes, that is actually real.

Souness saying that all our young players were shite was a catastrophic move, particularly when the injury crisis hit and he'd then turn to the likes of Chopra, Brittain and Milner on the bench to try and get the supposed senior stars out of the clarts. What a fucking tit the man was.

http://i.imgur.com/jse15.jpg http://i.imgur.com/dBVLD.jpg http://i.imgur.com/KmtT7.jpg the ones I did yesterday now that imgur is working

Did he nick it off Terry Connor?

The 1-5 game where do I start? Probably with the deployment of a bald, ginger statue on our left wing.

Some of the performances under Roeder were fucking dirge. I remember a 1-0 defeat at Reading where he finally got to play Owen (and the returning Shola), having harped on about the unavailability of the pair of them since the opening weeks of the season, and we looked promptly worse than when they weren't playing, which is saying a lot. Can remember Steven Taylor's shot into Row Z from 35 yards and a blatantly offside Owen goal being all we created in 90 minutes. Was totally fed up by then.

Huntington gave one of the worst NUFC performances i can remember in that match. woefully out of his depth. pisses me off that we should've been out of sight in the first leg but we got sloppy and lazy. a better, more authoritative manager would not have let that happen. In fairness to Huntington, he only played at left-back that night because Carr ducked out at the eleventh hour and allowed the lad to be completely hung out to dry. I remember he got 2/10 in the Chronicle the next day which was harsh as fuck considering the likes of Bramble and Dyer got 6 and 7 out of 10.

Wasn't it just, man. So bloody predictable. He could have reverted to his former role, or even moved on, after the 05/06 season. That way he'd have left as a cult hero; it was a sensational turnaround. Instead he left as a bit of an embarrassment tbh. Shite manager who conducted himself pretty woefully in the press. I'll never forget that rant after the AZ implosion, about failure and not winning trophies being 'stitched into the badge' or something like that. Was so clear at that point he'd completely lost the plot. He should have just resigned after that game, was utterly embarrassing and the mistakes he made during it pretty much summed him up as a (full-time) Newcastle manager. Shite.

Chelsea at 4/1 is a very good price. I still think Barca will probably win the match, but I'm going to shove a few quid on Chelsea.

Carr seemed to find something very funny indeed when he came on as a sub in the 0-3 defeat to Liverpool under Allardyce. Prick.

Quite fucking easily, actually. How long have you got?

It's a bit like Danny Baker's Goals and Gaffes