Ketsbaia

51. Another 50+ week despite an awful captaincy choice. Dunno whether to go Martial for Benteke, Payet for Ayew or a defender for Joe Gomez.

Benteke © subbed at half time This game is killing me, today has been a horrible streak of bad luck.

Everyone thinks the sun shines out of Pardew's arse but the Son is shining on the pitch today. Get in!

Definitely this. I do this far too often

Definitely this.

That's how I imagine Baba speaks

Does it have subtitles on?

I chose Benteke as captain over Wilson & Aguero, which I'm optimistic about. Basically, Mahrez and Begovic delievered. Not great but could turn out ok.

I don't like to panic but it's clearly an 8 or 9 right now - we'll be cut adrift after the next 2 games and I see the same old shit, despite the new players and manager. Somehow, nothing's changed.

Diego Costa is such a detestable little prick.

Where in town shows our games these days?

Anyone with Jordan Henderson in their team? Out for 2 months. I've chose this week to be maverick with my captain - went for Benteke over Aguero. It'll go wrong.

I have the best three striking options this week - Aguero v West Ham, Benteke v Norwich, Wilson v Sunderland. Here come the 6pts

Nah, we know best. It's War.

Ayew ticked so many boxes too - good age, free transfer, quality player. Apparently Swansea paid a huge signing-on fee, maybe that's what was the problem. But if that money was treated as the transfer fee, he's still be a bargain.

I like Thauvin but, of the three Marseille midfielders to move to England, he's a clear 3rd. It's mad that we let Ayew and Payet pass us by.

Referring to Roma as 'Rome', ffs. Probably about the simplest piece of info you have to remember when commentating; the names of the teams playing, and he can't do that. I bet he says Seville too.

Yeah, it's Soccer Saturday but with a likeable panel and watching the goals. Impressed

This time last year you had loads of good, cheap strikers - Austin, Berahino, Kane, Sakho, Ings etc. It's definitely shifting towards a strong midfield, like.

I'd say Bournemouth and Sunderland are going but that third spot could be several teams - maybe us, Villa or Watford.

All that potential, ruined in one moment I really hope it's not bad but it's not sounding good.

Eva Carneiro eating yoghurt tickled me. That's exactly the sort of thing she'd do

Definitely 4-4-2, split that Anita/Colback nothingness. Krul Janmaat Mbemba Colo Haidara Thauvin Wijnaldum Anita Aarons Perez De Jong/Cisse Don't be in fear of Watford.

Was poor tonight but I'd have put him on the right.